Saturday, December 27, 2008

Catch up time

well, I'm back home. A little worse for wear but that is how visits to Grandmother's house go. I ended up yelling at grandma (not the best thing to do) but I almost feel proud of myself for not just sitting there and taking her snipping at me and my sister (really, it started with my sister. No one bitches at/hurts in any way shape or form my sister.) The boy is trying to work to help me be less.....ruglike (getting walked all over). I think its working. The visit was nice except for the last hour or so, but I digress.

I saw this in my zillion e-mails that I haven't gotten to read since I left for vacation.

All I can say to this is WHOOPS!!!! And bye-bye animals and good drinking water and pretty landscape. Oh yeah, and the mountain justice folks are gonna have a field day. Go mountain justice folks!!!! They're a good bunch.

Reminder to all: There is no such thing as clean coal. Talk to your energy provider and see about getting your energy from clean sources like wave, wind, solar, etc.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Happy (almost 24 hours late) yule

Boy, this weekend has gone by fast. I mean really, really fast. I spent Yule at my good friend's house with a few of my pagan friends/unofficial coven type thingy/open circle. We made pomanders (I don't actually remember the words to the ritual just the actions) and gave presents (I think mostly cause its habbit now). But it was so much fun, and a great way to relax after classes and running about all weekend. Things are a bit stressful around the house because its almost Christmas and my mom got hurt and is mostly relegated to laying on a couch with a good book, which as my father said "wasn't part of the plan". But if that isn't a message from the body to slow the fuck down, I don't know what is. And it is that time of year when the body goes "whoa! Fuck no!". Anyway, I will be going to my grandmother's for Christmas so I will not be posting until next week. Wish me luck that things go smoothly and no arguments and such occur (Grandma and I are very, very different people and in her eyes my way is wrong, thankfully she doesn't know I'm pagan)

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Plant Post!!!

well, i have a new plant....6 to be exact. I dunno what they are or how many will sprout. 2 of them are palm like bushes and 4 are some sort of bulb (got them for free from this lady who lives downt he stree) which i added soil and water to. We will see if they will grow and what they will grow into. Yay more mystery plants, and with luck they will flower and be pretty. Which reminds me I should check on the palm bushes to see if they sprouted and to water them. I love tropical plants cause they grow all year round (if kept properly) and they don't add to the co2 levels when they go to sleep for the winter, they just keep on sucking up the co2. Which is a good thing cause they rise and fall a bit with spring and summer and fall respectively. The rest of my plant children are hanging in there the best they can.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Glitter falling from the sky

On my way back from the co-op it was snowing. The snow was so fine that I couldn't see it falling in the dark (saw it all over the sidewalks though) but I could feel it hitting me and under the lights of street lamps it looked like glitter falling from the clouds, it was so pretty. (one of the only times you will ever hear me say anything nice about snow, though we are becoming less angry at eachother)

Today I shall address paper. It has become essential to our lives from writing little reminder notes to ourselves, to writing papers for work or school. We waste alot of it and destroy whole stands of trees (my father would point out that they were grown for that purpose), destroying habitat for animals and causing all sorts of environmental problems. Yes institutions have set up recycling systems and sell paper made from portions or sometimes all post consumer waste (recycled paper) which is a good thing. They say recycle and use recycled paper as much as possible. But what no one thinks about (I have only ever heard it mentioned once) is books. Do you know how much paper is used to satisfy this world's thirst for good books? (walk into a book store and think about that, its mind boggling) I don't know either but its alot. I am a book addict myself. Vacation means me sitting in a chair reading a book all day. In light of this I offer you a couple of options to continue your book digestion in a more environmentally friendly way as well as easier on the wallet. Library sales are amazing (so is borrowing from the library), go on bag day but go early (that is how I have ended up with 3 shelves of books I have not read yet. Bag day is like black friday except that you can buy as much as you can fit in a bag for an itty bitty amount of money). You can buy used books (oh no its been read already!) online and at half priced books (if you have one near you, fabulous invention, really) or a great place to swap books with people all over the country but you have to have books you are willing to give to people.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Oh the holidays are coming

So life is fairly uneventful. Me and one of my old cooking shift mates made a late lunch on friday cause I was hungry (cause class goes from 9 till 1 and I didn't get a lunch break that day) and she wanted to cook. I grabbed an Earthwatch Ohio newsletter from mustardseed when I popped in there on Sunday and found a few interesting articles. Apparently there is a study being done about setting up a windfarm like thing off in Lake Erie (not a bad idea, apparently wind is better off shore and Lake Erie gets more wind then some of the other Great Lakes) and there is a bill in the House of Representatives (HR 1009 <-- thats the bill number) to allow industrialized hemp to be grown. (that is the bill as it stands currently) Industrialized hemp is a good thing, and doesn't have enough THC to get a person high. They are two different species of cannabis. Its good for making clothes, hemp seed oil which is really good for you to name just two and currently it is illegal to grow because of its relation to pot. So everyone should tell thier respective representatives to approve the bill cause I think it would be a good idea.
Regarding the website i mentioned earlier, its pretty sweet you just go there and type in the name of a bill or its number and it tells you whats going on with it currently. One good thing I got from my environmental policy class.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Plant post

well, my tomatos and impatient aren't doing so well. Iv'e been a bad plant mommy and hadn't watered them in a week so everybody's leaves were pretty soft but the primrose wasn't even wilted! I just keep telling the impatient just a few more months (ok 5 more months) and it will be warm again and it can go outside and get all the sun it wants....after spring. I find myself not minding the cold and the snow so much this year. yeah, I freeze my butt off every night at my computer and have to wrap my comforter off my bed round me so I don't die of shivering (a slight exaggeration...but only a teeny one) but I still don't really mind it. I'm thinking about borrowing my roomates turtle UV lamp for an hour and sitting my plants under it cause she isn't using it. It might help the dumpster plant and my tomatos who are growing tall but rather sparsely...well one of them is, the other is growing over (and trying to poke my sleeping blueberry bush) and I don't have a thing to prop it up with. The blueberry is definitely asleep with most of its leaves still attached but all dry and easy to pull off (I tried yesterday just to see). Everybody else is growing nicely as far as i can tell much to my pleasure.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

So similar...yet, so different

It amazes me that there are so many, many similarities between christianity and paganism. There are so many similarities, yes I realize many of these are because they were originally pagan traditions. BUT both religions have evolved for years as separate entities and lately I've seen traditions in the pagan community borrowed from the Christians (they may have been orriginally borrowed from us...I don't know). Once a person can look past the bullshit and see that each is only following thier path you can see that there are so many similarities. Why the hell are we fighting? (A topic I will not be discussing) Ok so everyone new plan! Religious tolerance and such.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

I suppose this is a necessary environmental type post

And the expected disscussion on decorations for this time of year commences:
People don't use excessive amounts of lights, its gross and ugly and sucks up your money, and uses up way to much of that energy creating coal and gas and stuff. And don't leave it on for 5 million hours a night it has the same effect as using too many. If you want to get lights get the LED ones, those are the most energy efficient currently, but don't light up the whole front yard. A few strands here and there on the outside of the house is sufficient and I'll even understand if you use some on a christmas tree. Ok this really wasn't meant to sound like a rant but there it is.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Saturday morning in a warm building with some tea, could there be better?

Probably but currently this is heaven.
This could just be the after effects of a good and entertaining (in a bad way) concert talking and the pride I tend to feel in supporting good local bands but its ok. I am going to start a new project of sorts. Well, actually its an ongoing project but I haven't talked about it yet. I've gotten into this habbit of saying prayers morning and night. Every morning I say the same prayer asking for help during the day with certain things (I borrowed two prayers and mashed them together it just worked so well together I couldn't help it). At night I thank the Gods for all the good things that happened during the day. Sometimes the list is fairly extensive and sometimes its just "thanks for my apt and my kitties sleeping next to me and all my friends who keep me sane and good co-op food Yay God (sorry had a summer camp moment there)". Sometimes when going through the morning prayer I rush through it and don't really think about what I am saying, sometimes I even find myself thinking about other things when I say it and then I don't remember saying half the prayer, then I am reminded of how I used to laugh at the people in church because when they said thier prayers (especially the Our Father) they never sounded like they meant them, it was just something to say because the priest says ok its time to say this. They sounded like the borg from startrek, all monotone and not remotely enthusiastic all saying it together because they are supposed to. My goal is to really focus on the words and mean them, and if I don't mean them to not say them at all. Its like this game we played in my acting class you were supposed to make your partner do something and if your partner wasn't feeling it they weren't supposed to do it, you had to make them want to do whatever it was.
I find it so hard sometimes (ok all the time, my mind almost never stops) to focus on one thing, to be in that moment only. Its a little funny, the idea of being entirely in this moment, nowhere else, not letting the mind wander to what you are making for dinner or plans for the next day, fully commiting every ounce of you to one thing, even focusing on one breath at a time seems like such a new and novel concept in paganism but it's really not a new idea at all. The budhists had it first and mainstream is just discovering it now (ok not mainstream but people write articles amazed at how amazing this idea is). Anyway so the goal is to sit there in front of my altar and say my prayer and be THERE and not be distracted by my own brain and MEAN what I say (not that I don't mean it now, I just don't like the idea of getting into such a habbit that I sound like the borg saying a prayer I wrote....errr compiled. I think there is a bit of buddhism squeezing its way into my eclectic witchery, not that its a bad thing they have lots of good ideas. (oh snap more stuff from India....really ought to get on that researching Hinduism. Oh the things I could do if I didn't always have class)

Thursday, December 4, 2008

well....we are attempting to get back to regularly scheduled broadcasts

Well, today is a plant post day......I think I've talked about all the plants I have. I repotted my amarylises and one is already growing....I think. We shall see. I thought I would talk about the gardens I would have if I get a house. All the trees would be fruiting or nut bearing trees (unless I randomly live in the woods, in which case there will be beech and maple trees predominantly) and a lilac bush or five. And I would have a veggie garden (that might double as a community garden) and an herb garden and then an animal friendly garden for birds and butterflies and little four footed ones to shelter in and find food (not that the 4 footed cousins won't do that to all of them). I want to buy as little produce from the grocery store as possible. Yeah, I have lots of projects in mind. And just to help everything along I just might raise bees in there too. And I would have heirloom veggies from seedsavers and stuff from the local farmers market during the season...oh! and chickens (no roosters). That way I can have eggs I know are animal friendly cause I will take care of them and not kill them when they get too old to produce, nope I'll keep them and love on them till they die. Then they will go in my garden to feed the plants. Which is a thought that doesn't bother me one that odd? And I don't see that as animal exploitation because I would be adopting them from somewhere and using only what they discard anyway. And I will have a stand of sunflowers to use as bird feeders in winter (unless the chickadees get to them first which is very possible). And on my off days (when I'm not working) I will go to a horse barn and ask if I can muck out a stall and keep the poo to put in my gardens aaaaand I'm going to compost with wormys probably (it sounds like the easiest way) and use the wormy poo on my plants too. My yard will be so pretty!!! And will hardly have to be mowed except in the very begining.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

My environmental econ prof would be so proud of me

Back to your regularly scheduled programing
My school just built this new fancy ass dorm building, it is considerably more eco-friendly then the other ones we have here on campus. It has motion sensored lights (I'm not sure if that helps cause you have to have the sensor on all the time). It has this lecture hall that is super fancy with electronics and chalk boards (cause you can solve the worlds CO2 problem by making chalk CaCO3 (so says the environ econ prof)....lots and lots of chalk , not to mention that dry erase markers give off funny chemicals and then you throw them away adding to the waste pile which doesn't happen with chalk). This building was also painted with low emission paint wich is supposed to be so much better for the world cause it doesn't emit as many bad chemicals (yay!). The chairs in the lecture hall have 4 screws in them (I think) and they come apart into 9 recyclable pieces and the carpet is made in such a way that there is minimal glueing to the floor (that is not toxic anyway) because they made it so there is a suction between carpet and floor, the carpet is layed down in squares not big sheets so you don't have to replace the whole thing if there is a problem you can just take out that square and replace it. The pattern in the carpet is such that if you remove a square and replace it no one would notice the difference anyway. This company the carpet came from is super cool because they are working towards zero waste to garbage dump, instead they put everything back into production which is pretty damn sweet (see what I learned in econ class). Oh! and the toilets are low flow and depending on if you go #1 or #2 you pull the handle in a certain direction and it will use more water or less which I thought was the coolest thing ever, I totally want one in my house. If the school ever gets off its lazy ass a portion of the roof could be a green roof which would be a good thing (they won't get off thier asses tho....I know them). Yay for environmentally friendly things!

Monday, December 1, 2008

Break from school distracted me

All 4 days of it. The other days of absence were due to exams

Yay Thanksgiving break! It was nice, the boy tried to help keep me sane during exams (if you want to be technical that was before break). I saw friends I haven't seen in forever and stayed out till ungodly hours of the night like college students are supposed to. I worked on my cookbook and will be attempting to make it a cooking Book of Shadows (from here on in BoS) of sorts. While also trying to decorate the current BoS which I haven't touched in a loooong time, I should work on that. I made an apple crisp that wasn't pretty for my contribution to the boyfriend's family thanksgiving dinner (they were nice enough to have me so I wasn't all by my lonesome that day). I was told it was tasty but I won't be using that recipe again (note to self: granola for crumbles in apple crisp is better then concocting something out of flour and stuff, it can't turn to mush in the oven). Currently I am addicted to Gack (japanese singer) I would love to know what he is saying but the songs are awesome even if I have no idea what the words are. Yeah, I have random tastes in music. I'm also in need of a new piercing....batch of piercings? The current idea is belly button I saw this cute picture on BME that looked like a fan it was 4 pokes in total, it was so cute! Also saw this pretty sweet combo of rings and a door knocker ring attached to the 3 other rings it was cool (I know bad description). Yeah I like piercings and tattoos and will at a later date be discussing a last hurrah/testing myself to the limits and beyond piercing.....much later, in about 5 months (I'm totally stoked and out of my flipping mind, only me would be excited about causing myself a fairly large amount of pain as a woohooo I got out of college and then go party some(anyone say masochist?).
I have 1 tattoo already a scorpion on my left hip a tribute to my leanings towards the Egyptian pantheons and a tribute to a specific Goddess who I have been very remiss in paying attention to (remember that stuff I talked about before, research and paying attention to those you want to worship?) yeah, the tattoo was before I thought about that. The tattoo is supposed to represent Selket a Goddess in the form of a scorpion who protects women (says something about my state of mind at the time huh? Not that I really needed protecting from anything) She was also an excuse to get a tattoo which I wanted badly, not that I regret it mind you, I love my tattoo.
I have 4 piercings all of which are unimpressive but a tribute in itself to my stubbornness (believe it or not I can be stubborn), my piercings take twice as long to heal and always get infected (my body won't bat an eye at scratches by rabbits and dogs and even cats (as long as they aren't barn cats(though technically the incident I reference was a puncture of my finger by barn cat claw...never pretty) but a puncture is a totally different story). They are in my ears. The thing is that before my first batch of piercings in my lobe took I had them pierced 2 or 3 times before. Each time they got problematic in some way and had to be taken out (I was also alot younger then, kiddie aged). By the time the first batch actually got to stay in I was in High school and had gotten them just cause I loved how piercings looked and was going to get it done right this time gosh darn it! (not with a gun, I won't go on the piercing rant I promise). A girls ears being pierced is a bit of a coming of age thing in a way (sometimes). Second batch (just behind the first batch) were gotten during the summer of my first year of college it was an I made it through my first year of college Go me! (same day I went to see wicked for the first time). I wanted to get something done to celebrate getting my first apt but I never did so one of (or all) the belly button pokes (if it is belly button I end up getting poked) will be for that (even if it is a year and a half late). I don't go and get my body poked with needles willy nilly the tattoos have to mean something and the piercings signify something important that happened in my life. I want my skin to be a roadmap of what I have done in my life, a way for me to remember all the firsts and major ending in my life.....(if thats the case I'm way behind...I just realized). I love the way piercings look and I won't fault a person for getting poked (pierced or tattooed) just cause, but me, something that causes pain and takes so long to heal has to mean something. Yeah, I have this big love affair with symbolism what can I say (grade school english teachers, I finally got it).

Sunday, November 23, 2008

the absent minded domestic goddess

So I made that pie I was talking about, even made the crust myself (I was so proud it came out beautifully). The pie itself left some things to be desired. It might hae tasted better if I had remembered to put in the coconut milk. I got all wrapped up in the mashing the potato and mixing it with the other ingredients that I completely forgot until I put the pie in the oven to bake, by then it was too late. All in all it was a good first pie making experience.

Friday, November 21, 2008

cooking in the Co-op

Here is the account of my last cooking shift for this semester. A friend of mine from high school came to visit me for a little bit and ended up helping the cooking shift which was cool. There was so much food left over from the co-op thanksgiving that I had no idea what to make or use for lunch and she just popped in with a great idea. Pasta with mushrooms, tomatoes (from the "turkey" meal), and wilted spinach mixed in. It was tasty. I was so happy to see her, not gonna lie. In the end the shift made 2 soups (one reheated from the "turkey" meal with a few additions and the other made for that day) our pasta thing, chocolate chip cookies, and some cauliflower thing that I wasn't hungry enough to eat because I ate a late breakfast. All in all a good last shift. Here's to hoping if I get another cooking shift that its as awesome as this one.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Plant Post!

I have a thing for pretty/different plants. I was admireing a plant last time we were down in florida called a croton. Its a pretty cool plant. The leaves are multiple colors and the colors will become more varible on each leaf the more the plant is in a place where the sun intensity changes alot. Sadly it is poisonous to kitty life so it needs to be kept out of reach of cats (which is just about impossible). I have seen some of these plants get quite tall.

Cause this is a short ass post I'm going to talk about something else. I get to repot and wake up my amarylises....amaryli (i have no idea what the plural is but there are 2 of them). I'm excited cause they are pretty *crosses fingers that I can get them to flower this year.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Every religion has thier religious holidays

And ours seem to overlap so often with Chistianity....hmm, I wonder why?

So there are 8 Holidays Samhain (halloween), Yule/Winter Solstice (Christmas), Imbolc (groundhogs day way back when), Ostara, (same thing as easter), Beltane, Summer Solstice, Lughnasadh, and Mabon. Each one corresponding to a certain time of year. Obviously the solsices are easy, then there is the autumnal and spring equinoxes at Mabon and Ostara, Beltain is a yay its spring/fertility day (yeah you have the right idea, you do not want to know the symbolism of the may pole). Lughnasadh is a harvest festival (there are a few but this one was the begining of the harvest). Samhain is the begining of winter (the dark time) as well as the pagan new year....why that is the new year it never made sense to me would make more sense to have a Imbolc as new year beacause its after the dark time. Imbolc is the time when the days are begining to be noticeably longer and that makes everyone happy up here in Ohio.

Many of these are celtic holidays originally and depending on ones pagan tradition you may celebrate more or not, or not even celebrate I said its whatever floats your boat. One thing that I read that Dianne Sylvan wrote smacked me upside the head and I will share it. She talked about how if you live in the Southern hemisphere your seasons are different so don't celebrate Yule on the summer solstice, celebrate things the way the seasons in your area are (I had a holy crap I wonder how many people are celebrating Yule on the Summer Solstice moment). It makes a whole heap of sense but this is what we get for being so used to our religions be so rigid and strict, we read something and automatically think it cannot be changed even if it doesn't make sense. Later I will be reading up about Samhain and see if I can't change my own personal tradition so the new year is somthing more sensible (at least to me).

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Wind Power

Its a pretty sweet idea this wind power. Harnessing the wind itself for our use, we have been doing it for years in smaller form with sails and kites and even hot air balloons. Sadly there are a few problems with using it to make electricity still. Problems like whole flocks of birds flying into the windmills and getting chopped it itty bitty bits.....yeah its a bit of a problem. There are so many endangered species of birds that setting up wind farms is a little bit of a concern. Now don't get me wrong wind farms are flipping genious but we need to figure out another way, or at least a way to make the birds fly around the wind farms, not through them. Even trying to minimize damage would be a good thing, like if we didn't build wind farms in the areas where a lot of different speices migrate through, but I have a feeling that there is a reason they migrate through that area, could be that the wind patterns there are pretty awesome and make them do less work? I don't know much on that I will admit. But if it is the reason that would be a great area to put up windfarms....oh darn we did it again, still in the way. We need big signs that say birds no trespassing you'll get chopped to bits.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Its stuck

Well, there is snow on the ground and it has been there since yesterday. It was snowing yesterday and last night. It may be melting. Now, I hate cold but the snow on all the trees was rather pretty. I am doing my best not to run screaming from the room when I see the white stuff, it is just a season of the year and it will pass just as each winter has passed ever since I have been alive. I will just keep telling myself that and wrap the blanket tighter about my shoulders and wait...just like those in the wild (except some of them get to hibernate). It is a time for introspection, self realizment, a bowl of soup (there is a rumor of potato soup for lunch I'm excited), a book, and a nice fire in the fire place (even though burning actual logs is worse for the environment then those fire starting "logs" go figure). It is a time to stay close to home and be with the community (we really are sort of a bizzare hive species that elects the "queen" instead of however its done with bees and ants or the borg.....yeah trekkie moment) and learn how to tolerate the family after being able to run about and do your own thing for much of the year, at least thats how it used to be. We still do the hunkering down with blankets and books but less with the community and family stuff.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

*Throws open the door* I'm baaack!!!

I know I have said it before but there is something to waking up early, its Gods aweful and painful to do but once I get outside walking to campus its all calm serenity...even in the rain. There was a light rain coupled with mist all over campus and it was beautiful it makes things easier when its beautiful out. I am still horribly busy but life has calmed to its normal pace again, but in the time that life has been a tad too interesting for my own good (having people stay over for the weekend plus a few days unexpectedly, taking that person to the ER, mother getting bitchy cause I didn't go with her decision, mad dash study/paper writing combo for the same class) I have seen some really amazing things. Yesterday my birdfeeder fell off its precarious holding place and broke (crap ass piece of shit) full of this seed that no bird would eat (count on it because I bought a huge bag of it) by the afternoon the pile of seed that had fallen from the feeder was gone and there was a chipmunk with full cheekpouches reaching its little arms and head into the feeder for more seeds. At least someone likes it. The day before that I saw the biggest flock of birds I have ever seen in my life in the "woods" behind my apt. There were so many that all thier chirpings melded into white noise and it was LOUD. A fellow classmate of mine said they were probably starlings (which sadly are an invasive species but it was impressive all the same).
I also had a good looong talk with a friend of mine who always has the best advice and thoughts to give on matters that stress me out. Thankfully he lives close by...for now, he moves around alot, I'll be sad when he moves too far away to visit. He told me to not be afraid of the changes going on around me, don't hide from them (there is a reason we cancers make shells, we like to hide in them). Instead take charge of them, make the changes I want (something that will be very hard for me to do, I am not one to be the person controlling things, in fact I prefer to be the one being controlled). Choices that aren't what will I wear, or eat, or do, or where will I go today worry me in fact sometimes they downright scare me, but we can talk about my sub-y tendencies some other day. He also reminded me that no matter what changes in my life, my friends, where ever I go (or they go) they will always be my friends....somehow yeah, I needed that reminder...go figure. Its part of the unique-ness that is me that when I get upset the mean voice in my head convinces me I'm all alone and will be if I venture outside my current little box *cough cough* school *cough*. Its nice to be reminded that there are people out there who will always care, we all need that reminder sometimes. Oh yes, and I'm also supposed to remember to take breaks and not wear myself out with school and have fun now and then (I'll try, someone might have to remind me now and then).
I'm not sure my body likes nettle tea....I started drinking it this morning cause last time it made my brain super awake and I thought that would be good during the exam but the moment it started into my system, digesting with my breakfast I started getting a headache and last time I used it that evening I had the most blistering headache that made me not even want to go visit my boy I felt like such shit. Even now I can feel the pain just behind the left side of my forehead. I may not drink anymore....we shall see.
I am contemplating making sweet potato pie for Thanksgiving....well...more of a just because and not exactly for Thanksgiving. I'm not exactly all about this holiday and I love sweet potato pie and I want some and its the season for it and I have never made a pie and I feel like maybe its time that I should get rid of my pie making virginity so the other tab-y on this browser is sweet potato pie recipes but I don't know how to choose one. One exam down.....2 more to go but not for about a week. Oh yes, me and the new roomate are getting along well and she brought a tv for watching movies!!!
one more thing. I am totally stoked about this new e-book that Dianne Sylvan put out. See column at right blog name Dancing Down The Moon.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Oh the Chaos

I will probably not get to actual writing of ideas till maybe thursday....maybe later things are so crazy around here right now that I don't even know where to start unraveling the knot.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

new beginings and the chaos they bring

This time of year is generally rather hectic for me. Exams and Advising meetings to discuss what classes I should take next semester. My last time having to do this, THANK GOD. But an added crazyness has come, I am welcoming a new roomate into my apt so bills won't be so bad on my bank account. Ironically I may be paying more in the end because I use so little gas and electricity by myself. $6 electric bill this month. But because of all the running about I have not posted this week (that and getting sick) and probably will not post until next week when things calm down....I hope.

Monday, November 3, 2008

An odd display of balance in the world

Near my apt there is this real fancy nice house with a fenced in yard that is perfectly manicured, you poke a code into a thingy and the fence door for the car to get in opens and has 3 yappy pomeranians with a Mccain Palin sign (the dogs aren't carrying the sign). Across the rode is this small property that I swear the whole property that isn't the house is garden...sort of (not flowers everywhere but still somehow screams I am a garden even if I am trying to eat the house). The greenery is just taking over its beautiful. It has a walkway to the back that is covered in greenery and the front door is half obscured by a bush I am not exactly sure how the lady gets out of her house or gets company, it's exactly how I would picture an elf house (Lord of rings or Dianne Sylvan elves not Santa elves). I think it is so interesting how on one side of the street we have rich republican lady and on the other the almost elf house. Complete amd total oposites of eachother. The lady in the elf house does keep an eye on the wildlife that ends up in the rich republican's yard though, in fact she keeps an eye on all the wildlife, espeically the squirrels. Around here she is called the squirrel lady (probably behind her back) but she is lovely and I have talked to her a bit now and then. She always says good morning to me (even when I am trudging to campus for class at 8 am on a Saturday). It fasinates me how this balancing effect happened. I would really like to know who came first.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Pretend it is still friday

This might be a tad long....lots of stuff is going on
My good friend from Living Like a Goddess (LLG from now on) came to visit and helped my cooking shift cook yesterday. It was awesome despite the mad ass lack of vegan food. I said screw it I'm hungry and ate lunch anyway. I made a fruit salad that was pretty damn summery for October 31st. Watermelon, black berrys, and pineapple with the leafy part of the pineapple as garnish for the big bowl of fruit. My friend made garlic bread which thankfully was vegan because she used the old co-op way of making it (bread+olive oil on bread+chopped up garlic rubbed into oily bread=tasty tasty garlic bread) . There was soup, and pudding from scratch, and rice and beans. It was fun.

My friend from LLG also got me some nettle to try for myself and I must say....WHOA. I don't think I have ever payed attention in a class i don't really like so hard in my life. It's just crazy. I am in this horrible state between super awake and dear Gods I want to sleep so I keep feeling the need to stretch because I still feel like I just got out of bed (blame going to bed at a normal time and waking up earlier then I normally do for the tiredness), but it is pretty damn impressive. This is definitely not something I want to drink after say....dinner time. This is the first time drinking it so we will see how things go after this, I have an ounce to play with. So I will probably talk about this again at some point to update everyone. I am definitely keeping some around to help me during exams. I wonder if this would be good for those who have ADD. I don't know about how ADD really works brain chemistry wise and how this would affect them but I know it is less expensive then the drugs they have to buy for the rest of time. May be an alternative...who knows.

Yesterday was also Samhain. Me and my friend from LLG had a dumb dinner in the co-op which was a tad akward because we were worried someone would come in and try to talk to us who were supposed to remain silent for the meal so we could think/remember dead loved ones (or people you knew). It was interesting because I thought about people I hadn't thought about in years and a few I hardly knew at all but whos death changed things so completely around me that I couldn't help but think on them anyway. It was nice though because originally I thought I was going to have to be at my parents house that night and wouldn't have been comfortable with them being there/part of it(for reasons discussed earlier this month). Next year there will have to be vegan food in the dinner (we just ate what was in the fridge) so we can toss it outside or compost food on the plate for the dead ones because you leave a seat empty and plate (with food) at that seat for the dead. We felt bad about wasting it but...we know better for next year. It was interesting eating food, one of the most basic things of life while focusing on the dead. In a way eating for the dead. To those who are gone: Grandpa, Cousin Jim (the first gay man I ever knew and didn't realize it until he was dead but I should have known when he smelled all the lotions at Bath and Body Works), Aunt Marie (even if I can't remember what you looked like), My first riding instructor's dad (even if he did scare the crap out of me jokeing about cutting my hair...I was really young), Grace and Andy (the hall my dorm was on was so much quieter after you died that I never really got used to it). You might be gone, but not forgotten....hope you liked the milk/soymilk mixture we poured outside for you.
Oh yeah. Happy Dia de los muertos.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Plant Post!!

This is gonna be short because I'm behind in my daily routine and need to get studying. I have a primrose that when I bought it only had one plant in the pot. This summer while my mother was mostly taking care of the plant children along with her plant children (until I found my primrose drowning in water, there was literally standing water then I started keeping an eye on things) it sprouted a new plant! So now there are two. Which was a bit exciting because I looked down into it and there were alot of leaves, a heck of alot more then I could ever get to grow on it (but then again I was bad at watering it because it likes water and if I forget to check it one day it will wilt into a pouty dying of thirst mass of fragile leaves. Only to realize that it wasn't that there were lots of leaves on 1 plant it was because there were 2 plants. At some point I should take one of them out of the pot and repot it, but I probably won't until its root bound and screaming at me to give it more room and they are fighting with eachother and I hear from all the way downstairs "MOOOOOOMMMM he's touching me with his feet and won't stop!!!!". Its the same with the dumpster plant, the pot is so demolished that water just runs out of it but I am going to have to cut the pot off the plant and repot it....which I need help with and since there is almost no one at my place ever to help with such things it probably won't be done for awhile.....sorry guys.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

How many Gods do you worship anyway?

Answer: As many as I want to (same number as the number of angels that can dance on the head of a pin: as many as want to), but really they are all facets of the same God. She doesn't really have a gender (but we mere mortals cannot imagine such a thing). Wicca usually focuses generally on 2 Deitys a God and Goddess, but you can invoke, call on, ask for help, follow ect any of the pantheons you so choose, or not at all and just follow God and Goddess its whatever floats your boat. You can worship as many as you want or as few, you can focus only on the Goddess if you want (I think that's as bad as the patriarchal religions ignoring the feminine but as I said its what floats your boat). There is a debate going if you can work with different Gods from different pantheons at the same time, some say yes, some say no (of course those who say no are WAY against it). Me I say well, if they are all the same in the end why does it really matter anyway. If they are all the same then technically you could be Christian and pagan at the same time....mindfuck!!!! (hides from the pitchforks) But this is a debate for another time that I will address. The one thing I really don't like about the way Wiccans do thier thing is that if you look at what the God and Goddess are doing throughout all the festivals (looking at the whole cycle of the year) its this wierdo incestuous thing where the Goddess keeps bearing the God then in spring they are young and do what all young people do at some point (have sex) then he dies and is born again. So shes basically having sex with her son over and over and over. EW! I mean I get the idea behind it (all things spring from woman cause only we can create cause only we can pop out babies) but it never exactly worked for me. Which is why I say I am Pagan and not Wiccan, this way I have more leeway to hold my ritual the way I want and not think about wierdo incestuousness. That isn't to say the Gods don't come into it, cause trust me they do.
I am only going to say this once and in all caps so it sounds like I am yelling at you to remember this IF YOU WANT TO ASK A GOD/ESS FOR HELP FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY RESEARCH THEM BEFORE YOU DO IT. Learn how to properly honor them after/during/before they help you, learn thier stories, thier special days, thier animals maybe you could put a feather of thier bird on your altar they might like that. Don't just go around using thier names willy nilly in your ritual (i use this word to encompass all forms of prayer and spell work and special days). A name IS the thing. (yes i should curb my use of Jesus fucking Christ....I'm working on it, its an ongoing project). They hear when you say the name, its like when someone says your name in a crowded room suddenly you are all ears because you heard that person over there say YOUR name. Its a religion, there is some work involved.
Lately I have been wondering if I should be studying more of the Hindu pantheon seeing as how I keep dreaming about them (ok 2 dreams but thats still alot for me). We shall see maybe later I will post my dream I had this morning and I can get an opinion from....someone.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Wave power

This is something I had never heard of before untill I read about it in a Scientific American email newsletter I got last month. It uses the waves made on an ocean to create electricity. Its a looong cylinder that has hinges. The movement of the hinges creates the electricity which is then sent by cable to a collection thing on the ocean floor then sent to shore by another cable. This is a pretty interesting idea if you ask me. However I do think the setting of the cables on the ocean floor might cause some unwanted disturbance because they would be very long, but I suppose it would depend on what flora and fauna was down there.

Monday, October 27, 2008

It snowed for all of 5 seconds today

It is no wonder the way back when cultures all had a Sun God. I mean seriously without the sun there would be no Earth. Without sun there would be no light, no crops, no being warm ect. My area spent most of the day under rain clouds and its been chilly. But really, when the sun starts going down really early, way back when you couldn't do a whole lot but sit in your house and wait for spring to come. And when the days get longer and warmer and you can plant your seeds and not worry about starving and dying from the cold how can you not see a God in the sun? I had this realization earlier in the fall while walking back to my apartment and the sun was shinning just enough to make you feel all nice an toasty warm.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Fall realization

You hear about so many people who get this get up and go urge during fall a sort of excitment and energy. Which I would always attribute to the genetic need to prepare for the winter. But then I realized that I never felt that energy until I realized that the feeling of excitement I associated with Halloween (as a kid) was in fact the very same feeling but because I had always had Halloween to look foreward to during this time I never realized it. Even when I lived in the dorms at school halloween was the time we passed out candy to all the little kiddies dressed up in constumes which was so much fun. It was something about the leaves dancing across the road caught in the wind that made it hit me the other day, suddenly I was just like HALLOWEEN!!! and then realized its not halloween that I was excited about, I was just excited.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Not cooking today, at the parents house as they have nothing for me to cook with

I might make cookies....or one of the millions of bread mixes mother keeps around that she never uses if I feel up to the challenge (I've never made bread before). We shall see.

In leu of cooking I am going to gush about a tarot deck I want that is as yet unfinished.
the top is the major cards and second is the minor cards. The cards are fairly self explanatory which is one of the reasons I love them. Not to mention they are just freeking pretty. The fire cards on the minor page you can practically feel the energy of them. I can't wait till they are done. 8 more cards to go!

Thursday, October 23, 2008

A confusing dream to be sure

I had a bizzare dream last night. Lately I've been dreaming alot and they are usually a bit random but the thing is I have been remember them, or at least pieces of them when I wake up wich is wierd because I rarely do. Today I woke up with this dream.

I was packing my rabbits into a bookbag each had its own plastic bag that I packed it in (they were alive). There was also a hairless rat. When I pulled out the rat from by book bag when we got where ever it was we were going (looked like a zoo cage) the plastic bag had been flattened and there was no air in it. I quickly opened it and pulled the rat out. He was a little worse for wear but ok. I put him in his cage only to realize that a door to another cage was open that connected the two and he ran through it. I put him back and closed the door. He started fighting through the cage door with something and when I tried to stop it I was then immediately across the room and there was a stool in front of me and a large black dog (pit bull I think)next to the stool it was growling at me, bearing its very white teeth and I yelled at her "KALI STOP IT" and went to smack her with a one of those green co-op spatulas (of all things) and just before i smacked her with it I thought maybe I shouldn't and stoped.

Ironically the name Kali means black one, its also a derivative of the word kala meaning time. In most of the statues and paintings of Kali she is shown with a black (blue) body wearing a necklace of skulls, and a skirt of human arms. She is shown with essentially fangs that are very white showing her inner purity (because she is covered in blood), her tongue is stuck out, she has 4 arms one holding a head, one holding a sword, and the other two making blessing motions to her followers. (are we seeing a pattern here?) Now I am no good at interpreting dreams, I had a book once but I decided it was a load of shit and threw it out, but there is something to dreams, that much I do know. And there is definitely something to this dream but I have no idea what. Kali has always scared me a bit she is one of the mother Goddesses but she is also a Goddess of distruction and rebirth. Some view her as a Goddess of Chaos. I copied this from a website, I'm not sure how accurate it is but from what I know already I belive it to be quite accurate
"Kali's boon is won when man confronts or accepts her and the realities she dramatically conveys to him. The image of Kali, in a variety of ways, teaches man that pain, sorrow, decay, death, and destruction are not to be overcome or conquered by denying them or explaining them away. Pain and sorrow are woven into the texture of man's life so thoroughly that to deny them is ultimately futile. For man to realize the fullness of his being, for man to exploit his potential as a human being, he must finally accept this dimension of existence. Kali's boon is freedom, the freedom of the child to revel in the moment, and it is won only after confrontation or acceptance of death. To ignore death, to pretend that one is physically immortal, to pretend that one's ego is the center of things, is to provoke Kali's mocking laughter. To confront or accept death, on the contrary, is to realize a mode of being that can delight and revel in the play of the gods. To accept one's mortality is to be able to let go, to be able to sing, dance, and shout. Kali is Mother to her devotees not because she protects them from the way things really are but because she reveals to them their mortality and thus releases them to act fully and freely, releases them from the incredible, binding web of "adult" pretense, practicality, and rationality."
Got it from here
So yeah, ummm no thanks, really I don't want to deal with that amount of stress. Dark Goddesses tend to teach lessons the hardest way possible (maybe so you don't forget them...ever) and I just don't want to deal with that, but that doesn't mean they won't teach me anyway.

Plant Post!!!

ok, lets see here, who haven't I talked about.... Oh yes! My african Violet. It was a random gift from my mom. Its a tropical plant that is still chilling at my parents house because my apt has no insulation at all, on my life, its really frustrating. I took a peek at it last night when I came home and it has lots and lots of flowers on it, I'm not sure I have ever seen it with so many. they are pink and have a wierd slighly shiny-ness when sunlight hits them its real pretty. African violets are an interesting flower because anyone can keep one alive (its super freeking easy just water from the bottom and put in a fairly sunny warmish place) but its really freeking hard to grow them from seed. I tried earlier in the year with some seed pods one of my mom's african violets made and all i grew was a little bit of fuzz on the soil (too moist waaaay to moist). I'll know for next time. Apparently my mom tried growing them from seed too when she was lots younger and she got them to sprout and then at a certain stage you are supposed to put them in bitty pots and they all died, go figure. But I think I'm going to try again with the growing from seed because there are a few more pods coming up.

As an aside, yellowing, crisping leaves on a tomato plant does in fact mean magnesium deficiency (you were right on the nose good job!) a way to fix it is by putting epsom salt in the soil. I just mixed it with water and watered the plants, so we shall see how that goes.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Puppy chow is a co-op staple (thank God someone made some)

Today I think I will talk about spell work. It is how alot of people get drawn to paganism, well kids anyway. There are lots and lots and lots of names for a person who is pagan. Witch, pagan, all the different names of the paths that fall under the all encompassing umbrella term pagan. There are alot. But I think most youngins are drawn to witch. The first idea you get is green faced halloween witch, then maybe Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Charmed, Bewitched (loved that show but the movie was crap), The craft (had the right idea and then totally fucked it up) and I can never forget Practical Magic which is the best witch movie on the face of the planet and closest to accurate that I have seen. People love the idea of being able to change things and influence the future to thier own benefit, its human nature. The problem is that it doesn't work like in the movies and tv shows you can't just point and shoot and is a magic noise and something happens. I realize that it has to be that way for tv. Sully Erna from Godsmack described a spell as a prayer. And yes it is....but then it is not. I think spells are more then that. When you pray you ask whatever Divinity you believe in to help you with this, make this not true, just to say hi, whatever you want. But a spell is far more intricate and can have much more interesting consequenses (karma anyone?) if you don't think it through fully and or word it properly. (which is why I don't do them) When doing spell work you send your energy that you have bound with a specific purpose out into the universe to work your will, prayers you don't really do that (not on purpose anyway). Spells are a last resort to you doing the footwork yourself but a kid just finding, usually Wicca, are all over that spell shit before they know anything about anything. Doing half assed, un-thought out, damn the consequenses to anyone else spells. But they learn, as I did when to cast and when not to(oh dear, just used a practical magic word). Later they realize there is far more to it....or at least hopefully think harder about doing them and why they are doing it. At that point of realizeing there is more to it they either say fuck this and walk away, learn all they can about the rest of it, or just ignore the religion part of it and be just a witch. (Incedentally male witches are not warlocks, you say they are and I'll beat you over the head. They are witches like everyone else. Warlock is an old English term (I think) for an oath breaker) One should think carefully about the intent of a spell and make sure it doesn't hurt anyone or mess with thier free will (ie make this person fall in love with me spells. BAD) Of course some don't care about that and they are just doing spells cause they are greedy bastards, but I digress. So yes, spells are a last resort and should be thought out very carefully and not done willy nilly and for things like bringing the Northern pretty as they are.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Economics and the Environment Somehow it just works

Ok, so the idea behind it is thus: Look at things like conservation and poluting from an economic standpoint and find that point where cost equals benefits, where you can maximize the use of money for the greatest effect. In my previous tuesday post the water conservation rant I said that this free market shit wasn't working. But what else is there? Answer: a limited market. A market where everything is owned by someone (not the same someone cause that would be a monopoly), and that person (and only that person) accrues all costs and benefits of that property (means no externalities (difinition:the welfare of an agent either a firm or household depends on the activities of another agent) which is a good thing), (I'm actually pulling out the Econ book to look up the property right structures as they should actually work) property should be transferable from one owner to another in voluntary exchanges (which it is as far as I know), and property should be secure from involuntary seizure or encroachment upon by others (this may not include when you get way into debt and they take some of your stuff to pay for that). Sadly our system does't work that way. If water was owned by the Government and parceled out to people and if the people go over that then they get charged a hefty fine that would be better then this willy nilly use that we have now. Yes people are trying to figure shit out but its a little late for that now, we are already heading up shit creek. But I guess every bit helps. And for pete's sake YOUR LAWN DOESN'T HAVE TO BE GREEN and this goes for everyone! Anyway, we need a better marketing system for some things, mostly I think we need to make all the companies pay for the externalities they are forcing upon us because it's cheaper to do so for them, I think that would help a whole heck of alot. Everyone needs to think of greater good of society not just the greater good of Me which will almost always be against the greater good of society. I'm not saying don't eat and bathe and all that just use as little as possible. Eat locally when you can (I know in the middle of winter in some places that is hard). Support the local economy by buying things from little shops and local artisans. Yes buying anything can support the local economy because the workers get paid but supporting local stuff cuts out that big corporation middle man and they get more of the profit. That being said everyone should check out because its all hand made stuffs and you can find people in your area who are selling things. Supporting the local economy is a good thing.

Monday, October 20, 2008

A little herbal lore

So I read this monthly newsletter from this awesome lady Susun Weed and about a month ago one of the articles was about a very, very common plant that has some pretty sweet properties. Reduces swelling (which I tested), pain (also tested), relieves itchies from bug bites, poison ivy, stings (insect and otherwise), and a few others that I don't remember. I remember my friend from Living Like a Goddess mentioning this plant to me but it never sank in. I got a sliver while I was working at the barn sunday and when I got home I removed it the wrong way. Squeezing and poking at the flesh till it came out. I woke up this morning with a big red ouchiness where the sliver had been the night before. So as a second experiment I found some common plaintain (not the banana looking fruit) and picked a leaf, washed it and chewed it up good (didn't have the most pleasant taste in the world) put the chewed up mass on my ouchiness, spat the rest out, put a bandaid over it and in seconds there was no pain (not even kidding). After about 5 hours I took off the bandaid and spit poultice (the technical term for what I did) and tossed the plantain outside and the bandaid in the garbage and there was no swelling or redness. there was a large green stain but what does one expect from putting chewed up plant on ones skin? Currently the wound (if you can call it that) is slightly tender to the touch which is pretty cool because this morning it hurt without being touched.
These are Common Plantain

There are a number of species but this one as the name suggests is the most common
This is Buckhorn Plantain which I also see alot around here

I am going to copy a description from on common plaintain. Here it is.

"It grows from a very short rhizome, which bears below a great number of long, straight, yellowish roots, and above, a large, radial rosette of leaves and a few Iong, slender, densely-flowered spikes. The leaves are ovate, blunt, abruptly contracted at the base into a long, broad, channelled footstalk (petiole). The blade is 4 to 10 inches long and about two-thirds as broad, usually smooth, thickish, five to eleven ribbed, the ribs having a strongly fibrous structure, the margin entire, or coarsely and unevenly toothed. The flower-spikes, erect, on long stalks, are as long as the leaves, 1/4 to 1/3 inch thick and usually blunt. The flowers are somewhat purplish-green, the calyx fourparted, the small corolla bell-shaped and four-lobed, the stamens four, with purple anthers. The fruit is a two-celled capsule, not enclosed in the perianth, and containing four to sixteen seeds. the leaves are saline, bitterish and acrid to the taste; the root is saline and sweetish"

and here is the url for the website I got that from if you want to read more

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Plant post tomato update

one of the tomato plants had its first cat mauling. Hardly any soil fell out even though I found it on its side on the floor (fell from bottom rib height) because it is madly root bound already which is just nuts. I mean tomato plants are freeking crazy, you can burry half the stem in soil and it will sprout roots over the whole burried stem. The other tomato plant has roots coming out of the pot through the drain holes which are turning green and trying to sprout leaves (which I am strongly discouraging by not letting that side of the pot have light). I mean whoa I didn't realize they could do that. It's pretty damn cool in a my tomato plant is going to take over its pot sort of way.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Cooking in the Co-op

This is the second time I've had to write this. Darn internet errors.

Today's lunch was good if I do say so myself and I was quite excited about it. We had tomato soup which ended up having basil, mushrooms (which I am actually starting to tolerate), mashed potato (she said to thicken but I'm not sure it worked), celery, and spicy spices (it was quite spicy). We also had grilled cheese and my fellow cook made me a grilled spinach and tomato sandwich just because which was nice. We had salad and we took this rasperry mushy-ness that she of the long coppery hair who cooks like the Goddess herself made on an earlier shift and mixed it with some other stuff and made fried rasperry mush pancake.....thingys (that is the technical name). They were sooooo good. Ok, well it's near bedtime for me cause I have class and all tomorrow. Night night.

Oh yeah almost forgot another letter to the Gods

Dear mom n dad
Thanks a billion bajillion million zillion times for that kitten actually having an owner even if it was who I thought it was.....still don't agree with letting a baby roam about but she was all worried about him and so happy to have him back (apparently he comes home every night).
Lotsa love

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Oh man.....

first off a letter to the Gods
Dear mom n dad
please, please please I can't keep the kitty that found me. Please if it has an owner let it make itself known. Pischa and Avi arent happy about the little tom in our apt and want him to go away and leave them alone (he won't stop trying to play with them). And if it is a certain someones cat they are the most iresponsible owners ever and then I don't want them to have him back, letting a baby run around outside, unfixed, getting fleas, with coyotes is stupid and I want to slap them really really really hard.
Your bleeding heart love animals to death save them all from cruel fates who wont turn into a hoarder daughter

Plant post

I have 2 tomato plants I am trying to over winter for mom. They are mostly happy. With some yellowing leaves, I can't tell if that is because I am over watering or underwatering....I can never tell.

Sorry this is short I feel like I'm running around crazy. And can't sit still long enough to think.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Here it is from the begining

I figured since this is the talk about pagan stuff day I would talk about how I became pagan and go from thier with my specific beliefs and so on and so forth (it will take up more then one post don't worry)

It started waaaay back when I was in grade school, 8th grade a friend of mine had been talking about a whitchcraft book she had found (let me tell you it was not a good one) so being curious I went online and did some reading and holy shit it was love at first sight. My Catholic upbringing had never felt right, at that age I couldn't put it into words it just didn't work for me. But reading what I did about Wicca was like coming home, lots of pagans say that but its true. I was reading and literally out loud said "thats it, thats what I want" the basic beliefs were already mine. So like every child who knows thier parents won't approve I snuck around and learned what I could while they weren't at home. In high school I found one of my really good friends (still friends with him) who I introduced to Wicca and we did alot of learning together. It made it more fun in a way because we would come to school and talk about what we had read or found, share things we printed out. Maybe it was the fact that I wasn't alone in it all. In the middle of High school we came out of the broom closet as it were to our friends gaining another to the group of pagan students. This is around when I bought my first book Idiots guide to wicca and witchcraft. Its silly now thinking about buying that book when really I should have gotten a Scott Cunningham or Gerald Gardner book but I didn't know enough to know that I didn't know anything. All three of us swapped the book between eachother reading and learning and such. We tried to do a spell to make the norther nights appear one Halloween, I'm not even sure if we were aware that it was Samhain that night. Exactly a year later (depending on who you ask it was our fault or someone else's) the northern lights were in our sky. It was amazing. Then we went to college still in the area but all of us too busy to really see eachother much. I stopped studying for a number of reasons (I was still Wiccan) my fellows weren't around to talk to about it, I had more class work then I could ever have imagined so everything just fell to the wayside until I was given this book (by one of my high school pagan friends) called the Circle Within (amazing book) written by Dianne Sylvan. It took me 2 years to read through the whole thing and remember what I read because I would read it in such short snippets. Then 2 summers ago I got back into contact with my first pagan friend who had a boyfriend who was also pagan (they are so cute together) I ended up hanging out alot at thier house (almost every night) and took up the learning again cause that boyfriend knows a hellova ton, by this time I had finnished reading The Circle Within. We (me and the boys) talked about making a never really got off the ground but it was a beautiful thing. The next school year came up and I moved into an apt with a friend of mine (the lady runs the Living Like a Goddess blog) and she expressed interest in paganism and then she and I and the boys (who I spent most of that summer with) would celebrate the special days (those of us who could come out). My roomate and I would do tarot readings together and damn were we good at it. Which leads me to here, blogging about stuff. Oh! almost forgot the most important thing, I came out of the broom closet to my family which started a whole new interesting-ness which I have already written about. Now and then I consider becoming a pagan....minister (whatever you want to call it). Who knows maybe I'll do it.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

water conservation rant (and it is a rant)

I am doing a project for class about water conservation. Its a good things people should do it. Take shorter showers, only shower when you are dirty, fill up a few cups of water for later use in the pets water bowl, drinking, watering plants while waiting for the water to heat up enough for a shower. For the love of all that is good and holy you desert states...STOP TRYING TO MAKE YOUR LAWNS GREEN YOU LIVE IN A FUCKING DESERT ITS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. The biggest problem is that water is super uber majorly by far the most important thing aside from air we have on this planet and you need it for just about everything so people get scared and want to do stupid things like truck water from the Great Lakes (bitches my water)to thier desert-y homes in the south west. I mean economically its stupid, we need to look at the societal greater good (ie whole flipping world) instead of just one area. And seriously this whole idea of water bottles (to quote Gorge Carlin) "Has the whole country become perpetually dehydrated?" Do you know how much water we would save if we didn't have water bottles in every store and gas station. I mean really, yeah I get it for a few things like going to work out and standing up in front of people to talk but thats why we have nalgene and Sigg and all those other companies that make bottles you can wash (but make sure you get the kind that doesn't release bad shit into your body). Fill up your own damn bottle and don't buy them from the store besides tap water has been proven to be cleaner. But I digress. Somethings that all farms and cities (because really where is the vegetation the water feeds in a city) should be looking into is taking the water that falls onto the roofs of buildings cleaning it (it is running off roofs and picking up bird poo and such) and storing it, even if you send it to the water treatment plants with the rest of the water that goes down drains that is a bunch of water that could be turned into potable (drinkable) water. There is a winery around here that gets all its water to water the grape vines (that isn't rain) from this kind of process (they don't have to clean it). That is just really awesome and allows you to pull less from ground water. This is a really important thing for me because I drive by a resevoir everytime I go to my parents house and its low I mean REALLY low, it scares and saddens me every time I see it because this resevoir is beautiful and there are spots you can walk across the lake now, WALK ACROSS A LAKE!!!! The thing is no one, no one seems to give a shit, they want thier water for pools, hot tubs, taking 5 million showers with thier significant other in one day, making thier lawns green. Its the tragedy of the commons for the millionth time in human history except this time it will be the death of the whole planet. Yeah global warming is bad but this water problem we are starting to find out we have is worse, heck of a lot worse if you ask me. Now, I'm not saying I'm perfect here either but really saving water isn't hard it just takes a little thought maybe a bit of money (a good quality low flow toilet, low water use washer (dishes and clothes). My showers: half an hour if I'm washing my hair which happens once or twice a week 10-15 minutes if I don't. And ladies you don't have to shave ones legs with the shower on you don't need that much water. What needs to happen is that the government needs to regulate water use and I don't mean just put up rules for domestic areas. I mean water rules for everyone allowing a building to use only this much water per month and if they go over it they get to pay a hefty charge. Of course as Americans we get grumpy when government tells us what we can and cannot do, we like our freedoms. Freedoms are all well and good but certain things need to change because this free market shit isn't working for the whole world. (oh boy look at what I'm learning in environmental economics! it almost makes waking up at 8am on a saturday worth it....almost) We are going to end up fremen living on a desert planet except that we don't have spice to live off of (if you don't know the reference read Dune by Frank Herbert who is a god)

A bit of scary politics to darken the mood

If this is true, we are in big trouble.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Community Garden

I would love, love, love to be part of a community garden. There just isn't enough community these days. People hardly know thier neighbors. Its all interent and IM and text messaging, yes I use those too (obviously) but I think it would be so cool to start/be a part of one. Plant veggies and what have you, enough for all the people who would be working it. Yeah it would be a biiig project and probably take up a good half acre or so....maybe i don't actually know how big it would have to be. And it wouldn't be good for just the adults to get out and be with thier neighbors working the garden, it would be a great way to teach kids about plants and make them be outside. In my fantasy world this garden would be organic and would probably get the end product from the vermiculture bins in my basement to make the plants all kinds of happy. And since we are leaving reality and running full force into my fantasy land lets also make it so that all the produce from the garden that the animals don't get (you will end up sharing whether you like it or not with the furry cousins) will be canned/preserved in some way in everyone's houses and when you need something you just call someone up and say "I need (insert veggie) I'll be over in a few to get it" I really would like to see the feeling of community something like that would create. And we could have our own harvest-y parties. It would be mad fun. There would be all sorts of heirloom plants, not stuff that looked pretty but actually tasted the way they should. None of those bizzare peach tasting apples, just straight up good for you, good tasting, maybe not the prettiest thing ever veggie. Not to mention because the garden grew it, it would taste better cause the community planted it with thier own hands and you would know where the produce came from and when it was picked and that it wasn't doused with funny chemicals ect. I would love it!

Friday, October 10, 2008

no cooking today

I'm not cooking in the co op today because I am at my parents house watching my sibling, and because I don't have class on fridays I decided not to go in. I emailed people to ask to take my shift but no one I am probably getting written up *shrug* whatever. I could talk about what I made for dinner last night which was nothing at all special (leftover peas, leftover broccoli, can of beans, can of tomatoes with oregano, garlic and something seasonings all mixed together. And old baked apple and tater tots. Terribly inspiring I know) I thought I would talk about filial obligation instead today as more of a rant at myself for being a bad daughter, but I also just had an interesting thought reading Dianne sylvan's latest blog at dancing down the moon. So I think I will talk about both so if you don't mind this will be a rather long post.....sorry.

Ok so filial obligation. I find myself being rather hypocritcal and am rather mad at myself for it. Now I don't mean we have to bow down and say "yes honored parents you are right I should marry this dude I have never met in my life before and go to the shcool you want me to ect" HECK NO but, we as children of our parents do have certain obligations like helping out when they say "hey daughter come watch your sister so we can go to a funeral for someone on your father's side of the family all the way in New York" I should say sure! But did I? No, no I bitched and moaned and then did it while still bitching and moaning. Parents do deserve respect, even if we disagree with them. And grandparents Lord and Lady *burries face in hands* I'm going to have to call my mom's mom after this just so I am less of a hypocrite. She called last night and sibling and I pretended we weren't at home. I don't like this woman she is stuck in WW2 era and won't come out. If you aren't doing it her way then you are wrong and need to change, same way with my dad which is why he bugs me so much. I was told by the boy that I should stop being so passive around her and yell at her for telling me how I should act/dress/eat/religion (she doesn't know im pagan thinks I am a really really bad catholic/act towards my parents ect and that really is the mentality of the whole country. If an elder tells you something and you don't agree tell them to fuck the fuck off. But shes can't say that shit to grandma! yknow??? You don't do that to grandparents, and really you shouldn't do it to parents either (though somehow it is an excepted thing to do). I mean yes, I do have my own stuff to do and I fall into a routine and get bent out of shape when the routine gets run over by something but I should have been more happy to help, even if I wanted to go to the funeral myself instead of keep an eye on sibling (who i mostly old enough to take care of herself)...which I did. Parents take care of you and make alot of sacrifices for you (look at it economically, yes in this country schooling isn't as expensive as some other places but food expenses, clothes, toys all money they could have spent on fun adult things/bettering thier lives with things they needed, they could have a crap ton more money if they didn't have a child) I'm not going to go into the whole crap about them wanting to bring you into the world because they wanted you and all cause as nice as that is...doesn't matter you can want a puppy and then when it gets older go oh shit, and take it to the pound (not that you should do that) but when we get older they go oh shit...what do we do with it now (refering to the baby they wanted). I'm not saying you have to buy them an amazing estate when you get a job and have money but parents and grandparents deserve to be taken care of and taken seriously and not ignored like annoying stray animals (I'm really going to have to call her now). So yeah, we need to respect our elders hellova lot more than we do and be nicer to them and help out without complaining about our busy schedule because they bent over backwards to take you to piano lessons, and sleep overs and all that.

Ok thought that was provoked by latest post from dancing down the moon. My summer was rather sucky, I had some stressful moments that led to panic attacks....though they weren't as bad as panic attacks as most people think of them but they were pretty completely not awesome and would leave me shaking and hyperventilating and my heart hammering in my chest and my brain a whirlwind in my skull. This happened most of the summer at least 1 time every week...maybe every 2 weeks and went into the school year (hey haven't had one this month!!!) until I settled back into the school routine. I had a particularly bad one last month though after I had a "party" and only my good friends from campus showed up and most didn't stay long, the next day after eveyone had left and it was night things got interesting and I ended up dredging up every single bad thing that happened that summer to a friend of mine over IM (he doesn't read this but I'll thank him anyway along with thanking a good friend of mine who is in oxford right now who also listened to me that night) Anyway so the thought provoked is as follows: This is my last year at school and I'm going to have to be all growed up by the end of the year and I think, this summer was the Gods reminding me that (or that I already am all growed up) by throwing a bunch of scary things at me (however most of the scary things are only in my head like finding a job, and apt and the like) at the time I lost pretty much all faith in the Gods and were convinced that they were mean spirited just wanted to fuck with me. Now I'm not saying the Gods don't make us trip and fall now and again but I don't really think its to sit there with all the other Gods and go "heeee watch this one HAHAHAHH did you see that shes sitting there at her computer crying her eyes out now. Oh I am so horrible! HEEEE." Usually its for our own good and to teach us to grow up, stop acting like a pretentious prick, remind us of something (oh yeah love those cosmic 2x4s), prepare us for something thats coming, or something like that. And I think that in a way I was super childish sitting there being all "the Gods are so mean *pouts*" During said mondo freakout online with guy friend who has the most beautiful faith in God I have ever seen in my life (I will talk about that sometime) he reminded me how devout of a pagan I used to be and maybe it was a test, and I think he was right but not necessarily right on the nail. He meant in a test of faith way where I don't think that is right. As a pagan you rarely hear the Gods testing your faith (thats more of a christian thing I think), that may happen while being tested but I feel like the tests are usually to show you where to clean up your life, what you can get rid of what you can't get rid of, where you have problems ect. Dianne sylvan writes when you decide to initiate yourself into something be ready for the ceiling to fall in on you (ok well thats the idea of it anyway) and I just realized june when it all started to suck guess what I did, I came out of the broom closet...esentially I went to the temple gates and screamed to the population around me that I was a follower of the Gods and I wasn't going to sneak in through the back door to worship anymore and they said "oh yeah? prove it." Maybe that is a test of faith......Every religion, school, culture has rites of passage maybe this was mine..... All I know is that my good friend was right about something, he told me it wouldn't get better until I started praying again essentially reaching out to them and saying I was ready to learn, better myself, not scream and pout and say its not fair you're too mean and grow the fuck up and learn to do things on my own (which I will have to be able to do being that I will be leaving school in may and turning into a grownup with a real job) which I am still working on but I'm getting there. The suckyness may have started a little before that time but I think I am right here, I think that it was rite of passage of sorts my last summer of "freedom" and boy oh boy there were some times I was rather free with myself. It was kind of funny though because at the end of the IM talk with my male friend he more or less ordered me to take a bath and relax which I didn't do in the end but proceeded to cry really hard on my bed and pray really hard (which he also told me to do) and I swear to you at the worst point of my tears (not kidding it was bad hyperventilating and coughing and feeling like i was going to puke i was crying so hard) I suddenly had this sense like I had my face burried in someone's lap, yeah I was curled up on my bed with my pillow folded all up under my head) but, it was like i was seeing it in my mind, me with my head on a womans lap and she just sitting there listening to my half gasping ramblings about how I couldn't do it. And I swear to you she smiled and said "of course you can" (hearing all this in my head mind you) and when I said there was no way she just kept up with the "you can do it, you have it in you" and we just talked and it was nuts and amazing and I was laying there with my head in my Goddess' flipping lap!!! Now I have had experiences where I've felt a loving, comforting presence but only when I am REALLY upset but never before have I felt like that. And I find as I explore my faith through this blog (things I haven't really written yet) I find I become more at peace with this horrible season called fall and seeing the beauty in it and I'm kind of excited to see what it brings about in the end.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Plant Post!!!

Yay! I get to talk about my plants again!!! This week I think I will talk about my mini orange tree. Yes you read that right. I'm so excited because its grown a new branch from the base. when I first got it sent to me the little tree (it was an itty bitty thing and sparse as all hell) came out of the soil then veered off significantly in one direction and as it started filling out and growing more leaves I began to picture me having to prop it against a wall to make it stand upright cause its going to end up being about 5 feet tall (its still in its baby pot though the tree might be a bit taller than 7 or 8 inches from soil up). But finally near the veer off point it has grown another branch that will hopefully balance it out as it gets bigger so there won't be any falling over in the middle of the night like one of my amarylis plants did). the new branch is still this almost neon-y green color and the leaves feel so much more delicate than the other older leaves. Its so cute!!!! Right now its chilling at the parents house because it is a tropical plant and my apt is rather cold at night. As soon as I get all the insulating projects done I'm going to bring it back.

Blueberry's leaves are starting to change from that super pale/tan and pinkish to bright redish leaves its so pretty. Still don't know what to do with it once the leaves go away though.

And the Impatient dumpster plant is the most delicate breakable plant I have ever seen, every time I take it down to water, it comes down in a shower of leaves, stems, and petals. It also needs a pot transplant because the pot its in now is cracking and leaks water but I think I am going to need help with that cause its a rather big plant.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Samhain pronounced (sow-en)

So next religious holiday is coming up the "witches new year" and I really want to do something for this one but the problem is A) I don't know what and B) I'll be at home cause I have to work....on halloween, not really looking foreward to it cause the barn is in a development and Lord and Lady know what ages are in this place and what they have planned...if anything. But yes, I think I'd like to do a dumb supper hahaha and actually do one this year. A dumb supper is where you make tasty foods and sit with the family/whoever you invite and set an extra place at the table with food and everything on it for those who have passed in your family (however you define family ie related to you, friends, ect). This dinner is held in silence (hense dumb) because you are supposed to be remembering these people and by thinking of them bring them to the table. Its a lovely idea if you ask me, and as of late there are a few people that need remembering plus one more (yeah you understood rightly someone else in my family just died...yesterday), two of which I did not get to attend the funeral as much as I would have liked to, but that is a rant for another time (won't be going to her funeral either). The problem is bringing up the subject and involving the family in said ritual (they being Catholic)....they look upon my pagan-ness with a sort of indulgence, though my mother did ask me what we did for Christmas and if my altar was to any spesific deity which is progress I suppose. And honestly, I've gotten so used to keeping them far, far away from my religious practices that I'm not even sure I would feel comfortable having them there being part of the ritual. (where are my we-almost-made-a-covenmates? We need to do something!!!)I could rant about my mother forcing me to go to church all day because shes being such a hypocrite its not funny. Saying how everyone has thier own path and for some it is some form of Christianity then forcing Catholisism down my throat. Someday I'll call her out on that. But I digress. This day is the day when we "realize" (not like we haven't been noticing it already we are supposed to be attuned to nature anyway) that the plants and such are going to sleep (here its probably already snowed at least once....well ok thats how it was when I was a kid and Global warming didn't exist). It is a day to remember those who have gone to the eternal sleep before us, a day when the veil between worlds is supposed to be thinnest (on this I have no knowlege). Other problem: Trick or treaters, in my family Halloween dinner was usually eaten very quickly so as to be ready for the kiddies/so me and my sibling could go out and trick or treat ourselves. Well....if nothing else I should decorate my altar But I have no idea how, on this I am very stuck. I don't have many fall like things to put on it and the cats will just rip up leaves if I bring them in. I could put things that remind me of those who have died but I don't have anything. There is a reason why I think about this stuff a month ahead of time, and this is it cause I have to be creative and use what little I have. I'll make do in the end.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

If I had only known

If I had realized the mountain justice talk was tonight I would have saved my recycling stuff for later. Oh well. So mountain justice is a good bunch of people doing great things to save the mountains and the people of Apalachia....someone is that spelled right??? Go here they talk about thier stuff better than I can. Its really amazing to see how corporations are taking over our government though. Coal mining corporations basically run west virginia it sounds like. And another reason to hate Bush.... the US was this close to getting mountain top removal illegal and bush....the personable man that he is changes the definition of valley fill (the shit that happens to the rubble from blowing off tops of mountains....gets dumped in the valleys essentially filling them up which pollutes the stream that runs through it which causes us to pay for cleaning the water (externalities anyone!!!! which means I have found a use for my Econ class which makes it worth learning which is a good thing but that is for a different post). This close...... Its really sad to see because yeah west virginia has always mined coal but this way of doing it makes coal miners lose jobs and pollutes the environment. It has caused lots of deaths. From directly killing people to causing cancer. And I heard a scary statistic 13% of women east of the mississippi who have children will (not might) WILL have children with birth defects because of mountain top removal. And you see all these signs for coal all through West Virginia how it is the only option and the way they talk about it all the people in these towns have forgotten that they can do something, they just need to find how to make a living without coal as the mainstay of the economy which is killing them or driving them all from thier homes one by one and leaving the rest often poor as fuck. Economy working???? I think not!

Here's to the Long Haul is coming to campus!!!! 29th of this month I can't wait! go there, thats them.

Recycling.....Hell yeah!

Ok well it took me a little while to decide what I wanted to talk about today. I literally have a list of things sitting here next to me in a notebook that spans most of a page (one side) that I just keep adding stuff to as I think of it. Then I remember I got this thing sent to me from Co-op America that I thought was way cool and I had to share so here it is. I'm pretty much going to type this straight off the thing I was sent.

10 things you didn't know you could recycle

Appliances: many stores will recycle your old appliance when you purchase a new one. Goodwill accepts working appliances. Go to or you can contact the steel recycling institute to recycle them at

Athletic shoes: One world running will send still-wearable shoes to athletes in need in Africa, Latin America, and Haiti: Nike's Reuse-a-shoe (wait Nike doing something good???) program turns old shoes into playground (which they have discovered lets off hellova lot more heat in the summer making it potentially dangerous to those youngins playing on it cause of dehydration) and athleticflooring

Batteries (who knew!): contact

Clothes (obviously recyclable):wearable clothes can go to your local goodwill outlet or shelter. Donate wearable women's buisness clothing to the nonprofit Dress for Success which gives them to low-income women as they search for jobs (hell of a good idea) Offer unwearable clothes to local animal bording and shelter facilities which often use them as pet bedding

Compact fluorescent bulbs (CFL): them them to your local IKEA store for recycling you can also order a sylvania recyclepak

Computers and electronics: to find the most responsible recyclers go to

foam packing peanuts: your local pack and ship store will likely accpet these for reuse. or call the plastic loose fill producers council (they have a council????) to find a drop off site 800-828-2214. for places to drop off foam bloxks for recycling contact the alliance of foam packaging recyclers (they have an alliance too?!!!!) 410-451-8340

Ink/toner cartriges:

Oil: find used motor oil hotlines for each state

Phones: collective good will refurbish your phone and sell it to someone in a developing country call to protect reprograms cell phones to diall 911 and gives them to domestic violence victims

Sooo yeah I thought that was pretty damn cool and had been waiting for an opportunity to share the knowlege which you should do too.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Format change!!!

Title is from an old radio comedy thing.....a radio station playing classical music then the boss comes in yells format change and puts on some Rock music

Ok I know I said thanfulness on Mondays but I'm changing that. Its good in theory but in practice it will be just too repetitive I feel. There are lots of things I am thankful for, most of them revolve around the co-op, friends, pets, warm (but not really) apt, bed, food, family...sometimes. Sooo yeah and besides I have something more interesting to talk about. Nature isn't all light and bunny farts (to paraphrase something Dianne Sylvan wrote) I tell you this because someone is going to be missing thier dog this morning. Last night as I left my apt to go clean the big fridge in the co-op there was this horrible noise, obviously a fight of some kind. There were 2 voices one wimpering pitifully which was obviously a dog and something....else. some dude said it was a coyote but...i dunno I would have said it sounded more cat like, but he's probably right coyotes are quite common around here. So the horrible growl/snarl/more cat then dog sound went on longer than the whimpering so one assumes puppy lost and is now coyote chow. Let me get my irrisponsible owner bit out of the way, Why in the hell you would let a small dog (coyotes usually go after the small dogs) out at 11 at night....i mean really by itself when you know there are carnivorous animals out???? but I also feel bad cause now no one will know where Fluffy McFlufferson went that night and why didn't fluffy come back. But anyway whats done is done, I hope they learn thier lesson. Everyone always thinks of nature as this beautiful wonderful awesomeness and yes it is that but its also big and dark and scary with loud growl/snarl/ more cat then dog sounds. I guess this is why we have persephone the typical maiden pretty as she can be who is also queen and consort of Hades. I was thinking about this dog and its cruel and horribly unprepared for fate (oh wow my theater class is really rubbing off on me) only to realize that cruelty is a human construct. In nature there is no cruelty....well ok not true exacty, we would view some of the things as cruel but in nature killing for food, killing offspring of the male you just killed so you could have his harem, killing a weak pack member, ect is all part of nature, survival of the fittest and all that. Cerebrally you know that and you see it on tv but then its always in those when nature attack shows and it seems like just a joke but to hear it is completely different and amazing and terrifying at the same time. Cause honestly I can never look at nature as a whole exactly the same way, I can even better understand why settlers went out and hunted all the predators out of an area cause hearing one is fucking scary as all hell. However this does not stop me from saying that wolves need to be reintroduced into places where they are now exctinct to control the deer population. It makes you understand why those old civilizations held nature with such respect. And the scariest part. has nothing to do with nature....well humans are mamal but are we really a part of nature...lets be honest. There is a guy down the row of apts who has a handgun and he was gonna go find the dog and shoot it. HE HAS A FUCKING GUN. Not a gun to go hunting with but a handgun. He literally said when asked with what gun by another dude "with my handgun" why the hell do you need a handgun in this area???? Now I know a few people who have guns and all of them I would trust with them (know only one person with a handgun and hes a cop so its a little different) but.....I don't like guns, I don't want a gun near me and yes it was a nice thought to go put the pup out of its misery but.....GUN!!!!!

Dumpster plant has been identified as an impatience....however thats spelled so its new name: the impatient dumpster plant which i firmly believe was a gift to me from the Gods.....even if it was owned by someone else and thrown away...they knew I'd find it. I had really wanted to expand my plant collection and there lo and behold sitting on the dumpster on its side still healthy as can be.....a plant. That makes it a gift in my eyes.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Indian summer tea smells like a hookah bar

(it does trust me on this...its a good smell)
Ok so the econ exam is over....THANK THE GODS.
There is something to be said for waking up as the sun does, yeah its fucking cold cause my heat isn't on yet and yes its horribly early and I really don't like doing it but walking outside to the co-op for breakfast saying my morning prayer as I walked cause I had to hurry through the morning stuff today to ensure optimal eating time and so I could eat and not be late for class/eat during the exam. Anyway walking and saying my morning prayer, a few moments after I ended my prayer there was a burst of bird song. Not even kidding it was silent as I prayed then it started out 2 birds and as I walked towards campus I heard more not alot more but a chickadee and a blue jay and one of the crows that is always around and some bird I didn't know. (ooo there is a very unhappy jay outside right now) There was a sense of the world waking up, the sun not even over the buildings and trees yet. It made me feel better about things and being awake that early because it was COLD (example of how cold: last night the cats slept under the covers with me and were there for most of the night and one even left then came back later and nosed her way back to her sleeping spot somewhere between my hip and the middle of my ribcage) and I wasn't a happy camper cause I didn't sleep at all well, in fact the only reason I know I slept at all is cause one of the cats woke me up from a dream by walking on me 3 minutes before my alarm went off. I was in a long sleeve shirt, sweat shirt, armwarmer, and a coat (thanks nelly for leaving your coats yours are warmer then mine) and pants of course and shoes so I could walk to the co-op. But man it was COLD. But I do love sunrise. I am a firm believer that everything has a spirit (yes rocks and all) and whether that spirit is sentient, that can feel emotion or just an undefineable energy I feel excitement from all the things around me at dawn, its the same feeling I get when I stand quietly with my plants when they are getting direct sunlight. Maybe its just the feeling of the plant going "ooo sun! make food!!!!" or something a bit more emotional I don't know I would like to think that thier spirits can have emotion, after all its been proven plants do better when you talk to them so who knows. But I had a thought and its a thought that has been rolling about my head and it has been mentioned often in other circles humans are so obsessed with time even me note the use of optimal eating time earlier in the post. Nature wakes up when the sun rises and retires for the night (or at least hunkers down) when it goes down, humans have created this false schedule where we stay up till silly hours in the night and curse the dawn when it tries to poke into our eyelids and that little bit of us that is still animal says time to be up sun is up. If we actually lived as a part of nature we would be up with the birds and the rest of the natural populations instead of obsessing over our clocks and being in bed by midnight and up by 9, hours after the sun is up. Even my cats are running around my apt as soon as the sun is up, they have learned that I'm not getting up that early to feed them however so they just amuse themselves by running around, literally. Yes, I realize industrys and office buildings run on time and I understand the need for it so we can document how much we work so we can get payed so we can pay bills and eat and all that good shit but damn we have messed up our internal workings with this thing called time.