In The Circle

more story of stuff vids!!!!

2010-07-22T11:40:00.002-04:00

I really like this new vid they put up called the story of cosmetics. Everyone should check it out.

http://storyofstuff.org/cosmetics/

Yay! warm weather!!!!

2010-04-01T13:37:00.003-04:00

I thought it might be fun to keep people up to date on what I've been reading. I have so many books that I could be a library all by myself. I thought I would write book reviews mostly just for fun but also as a way for others to find something they might like to read.

So here it is book review number one: The Mummy or Ramses the Damned by Anne Rice. Ok first off, let me say I love almost everything I have ever read that this author has written. This book is mostly set in Egypt while it was still THE hotspot for wealthy Americans and Europeans to go for the winter. This book was alot of fun to read because Anne Rice always paints vivid pictures of the characters. Basic storyline is as follows: An egyptologist awakens an imortal man who falls in love with the egyptologist's daughter. They go to Egypt to see the Ancient Ruins where the immortal finds the body of his lost love. I don't want to give too much away but its a great book fraught with moral dillemna, sex, murder, big scary mummies and ancient magic (sort of). What's not to love?

Ok, well obviously I'm not the best book reviewer but I've always been bored with book reviews I've read. They were always too dry

Spring!!

2010-03-30T10:36:00.002-04:00

I'm excited its spring, more or less. I have a bunch of plants starting or growing and its fabulous. Its still cold but thats hows ohio does it. This year I'm planting calendula in hopes of making my own salves and things with it, and maybe eating some just for fun. Right now half of the seeds have sprouted and are 2 inches (give or take) tall and they are ADORABLE. I'm also super excited to report that I'm getting a dwarf fig tree, and mini blueberry bush (again) because I thought it would be fun to have my own dwarf fruit farm to produce my own fruit. Where I will put them all.....I don't really know but my family and my boy will just have to put up with it. The past 3 days have been rainy and or cloudy and it doesn't look like it will change today but I am hopefully watching for a parting of the clouds to warm things up so I can take walks and look at all the budding greenery.

Brightest Blessings

I'm Baaack 2 millionth edition

2010-03-25T11:07:00.002-04:00

Ok, so I haven't been on in a long, long time. I'm really going to try and get back on the horse here now that I have a few ideas I can talk about. The first thing is the Story of Bottled Water seen below. (there was a technical confusing and it made its own blog). I really like this video and the Story of Stuff Project because it puts things into simple terms with easy to follow graphics and important points. Anyways. Watch the Story of Bottled Water, and the other 2 they have if you haven't seen them before

The Story of Bottled Water

2010-03-25T11:05:00.001-04:00

The Story of Bottled Water

Posted using ShareThis

please tell me some people have seen avatar

2010-01-26T00:33:00.002-05:00

That movie is awesome. ok it took me some time to write this I saw it a couple moths ago when it first came out. It made every inch of my pagan social justice-y heart very happy. For once the indigenous population wins!!!!! And Mama pandora (the planet) got mad and kicked ass. It was great, it makes me a happy happy pagan.

2009 at its end

2009-12-29T22:01:00.003-05:00

This year has for the most part sucked. It has been a year of transition and therefore by my very definition must suck. I hate change, but cannot sit in one place and I know this. But that doesn't mean I have to like it.

This year I have dealt on numerous occasions with depression each one seemed worse then the last, starting when I was in school and the last ending only last month(honestly, I probably wouldn't have any friends at all if my fiance didn't more or less instruct me to go hang out when invited to do so because at the time I just couldn't care.....about anything), I have graduated from school, watched all my plans fall into ruins and still feel lost. I haven't posted anything because there was nothing new to post except for a worsening feeling of wandering in the black woods.

I see children and find myself wishing they would never grow up. And that sounds terrible! And it's not that I want them to die as children, Gods know thats not what I mean. But I miss being a child. I wish I wasn't an adult, with every ounce of my being. I certainly don't feel like an adult. I wish for every child I see that they stay happy and care free and all that awesome stuff that kids have and feel that gets stolen from us secretly and quietly as the world makes us grow up. But apparently while I wasn't looking and was having fun playing at grown up, the world stole away my kiddie-hood and I actually am a grown up. All I can say is what the fuck?!!

I'm engaged to a wonderful man, I've graduated college and am paying most of my bills all by myself (thanks mom and dad) and as lost and terrified as I feel most of the time I have hope. I have wonderful people around me who as much as I try and keep hidden my thoughts, fears, frustrations, and tears know me well enough to be patient with me and know me well enough to kick me in the butt when I need it....even while I'm kicking and screaming that I don't need it. Bear with me my Darlings I've never shown my feelings to people easily. I know I'm easy to read but it has never been easy to share what everyone sees in my face.

With Hope I watch for the New Year
Brightest Blessings and a Wonderful Next Year for you all

childhood favorites

2009-10-21T11:23:00.002-04:00

Every vegetarian has those foods that as a child mom didn't have to worry they wouldn't eat. Usually it has meat in it. And as a vegetarian you slave over ideas of how to make those beloved foods into something that you can again eat and enjoy and love all over again. One of those foods for me was Ham and corn quiche. Mom used to make this all the time and I loved it and would eat it all up and clean my plate of every crumb of filling and crust. Why I love it I really don't know because I am very picky about my eggs and have yet to find another quiche that I can eat without gagging because of the rediculously egg-y taste. I love eggs as long as I can't taste that grossy egg-y texture/taste thing. I will eat the fuck out of an omlete and scrambled eggs and poached eggs but if they are in a food and that food tastes egg-y I'm gonna gag and its not going to be pretty. Honestly, I think it has something to do with the amount of corn in it (the reason I like the quiche). Cause I love corn (I'm begining to realize this). Instead of putting real ham I just used fake ham. I am not usually one to use the fake meats unless it is absolutely necessary but I was pawing through my mom's recipe books (there are a million of them I swear) and we were talking about how to divide up her current official cookbook because its bursting at the seams and she has to rubberband it closed and she made a comment about that recipe and how she could take it out cause we never eat it anymore and I went holy crap! I want to vegetize it!!! It was soooo good!

I must admit I was rather pleased with the way it came out. It had an interesting sweet taste around the "ham" and cheese at the bottom but I really don't remember what it tasted like originally so I cannot really compare. It was so simple to make that I will probably make it again at some point though I doubt anyone aside from me and my mom (who is open to new culinary experiences) will eat it. I can understand why mom made it so often when I was a baby.

Now all I have to do is figure out how to vegetize mom's chicken a la king recipe. Currently I just eat it without the chicken so its basically veggies in a cream sauce....still good but lacking a certain something (yeah chicken I know)

Things to be excited about super dork edition

2009-10-12T11:51:00.003-04:00

Things have been a little hectic around here. I'm working 2 jobs and on the weekends they come right next to eachother with enough time to shower and let my hair air dry. I'm thinking about investing in a hair dryer. I stopped using one after I decided that it was too damaging to my hair, but then again my hair is just crazy and coarse anyways so it may be time to rethink. Good news: I'm actually making money and not just staying afloat. Now that I'm not worried about every dollar I spend and focused on just finding another job so I'm not bleeding my account dry I can focus on the all important task of finding an actual job. I have until the end of the year to find a job with health benefits (cause I need them) so still a bit of a deadline but hey we always work better with deadlines right? At least I do. However I have this problem with the weather. There are so many who say they feel energized by fall. Yes, its very pretty but fuck man its cold. Me on the other hand, when it gets cold I move slowly. The colder it is the slower I tend to move which is why it takes me a full hour more to finish one job which will in the end be a hugeass problem when I need to get to my other job. Oh the frustration this will cause. But really I do love this season. This season is Halloween to me and I am super excited about halloween this year because I have time to carve pumpkins! And I plan to carpet my fiancee's porch in carved pumpkins and take all the seeds and cook them. I have a few recipes I want to try with them but mostly I have no idea what to do with that many damn pumpkin seeds. But I am a stubborn sort and WILL cook them and eat them (and maybe force some on my poor friends and family). Any recipe/ways to cook them you like and think I might like? I'm also intending on making pumpkin pie with the bits of pumkin I cut out of the pumpkins while carving. Which honestly doesn't make alot of sense to me because I'm not really a big fan of pumpkin flavored foods but I have a need to not waste anything, if I can help it. I'm also looking foreward to Thanksgiving, which confuses me a little. I find the more I grow up, the more I look foreward to family oriented things (aka subjecting ones self to people that drive you flipping crazy and you need to take a vacation afterwards just to relax from your vacation with them, or if you're me, get your loving Master to beat the tar out of you......go figure) But this time 2 years ago I got the awesomest recipe ever and everyone who has tried it really likes it. I was really happy last....no....2 thanksgivings ago when i made it and I had veggie food that everyone was willing to eat that wasn't stuffing and potatoes and pumpkin pie. I'm planning on making it a normal staple in the Thanksgiving feast of my family.....and maybe my fiancee's too if I go over there for thanksgiving again this year. I am continually amazed that I am growing up and yet still very much a child in adults clothes.

A rant on social stupidity

2009-09-24T21:46:00.004-04:00

Its interesting when you think about the person you are and think back on how you became that person. The way I see myself, I didn't become anything until high school. I was pretty much a quiet little social drone. Then I became an angry punk, a rebel and Davey Havok was pretty much my role model. An intellectual, intelligent musician who spoke on what he believed. There were a myriad of other punk bands that were politically outspoken that I adored partly because of their anger and partly because I agreed with what they were saying. Then I went to college and joined the veggie co-op and moved from angry punk/rebel to being pretty much a hippie kinda feminist, still a rebel but less angry. This time is where I really came to feel the religion I had chosen for myself. And now I've graduated from college. I'm not sure I'm really a rebel anymore. I love peace, harmony, veggies, animals, and lots of other things but I find myself worried less about the needing to change the world. I want this world to be a better place once I've left it, and that will never change but I find myself worried more about making my own life. I'm engaged, half living in my fiancee's shitty apt that will never ever ever be clean and half at my parents house where I am still treated like a child. I find myself rebeling in small ways (I thought I was out of that phase of my life) like keeping my parents out of the loop on my health (except when everyone tells me 'you need to tell your parents about this'). I'm still very much a feminist in the sense that I refuse to wear slutty clothes to work just so drunk males in thier 30s and 40s can look at my tits and ass and tip me better cause its all out there for them to see. NO. They will tip me because I am good at my job. I bring them their drinks quickly and smile and check and see if they need more often. I was talking to a friend of mine about this local band that has this chick singer who wears pretty much nothing. And that annoys me because they do well and we all know they do well because shes up there singing with almost no clothes on. And I can't stand that society perpetuates this. And I can't stand that females allow it to be perpetuated. I understand sex = attention and attention = YAY. But really now. This next thing I say will sound terrible and I hope no one takes offense. It seems to me that only the "ugly" girls feel this way. By ugly I mean the quiet ones, the bookish ones, the fat ones, the unsporty klutzy ones. And you have to be stupid to be pretty. I am one of the "ugly" girls who recognizes she is attractive but who chooses not to wear "cute clothes" because I do not want to be seen for my body (and it is too much of a damn waste of my time to try and make myself up cute). I have had men blatantly stare at my chest and ass while at work and could do little aside from walk away (while wanting to hit him repeatedly in the face with my tray) while wearing my "bar clothes" and the more I work there the more I just don't want to even try to look cute but its part of the ambiance of the place. Big dudes at the door cute skinny chicks at the bar and running around to get your drinks. I have become a decoration?!!!!! And my only reason for all of this degradation....I can pay for my car, I needed another job. And I find myself disgusted with myself.....I really feel like I have gone the completely wrong way and demolished my own moral code of conduct. OK slightly dramatic right there but I've really pissed myself off with this rant which really wasn't the intent of the post but I followed my thought process to its conclusion. The intent was to plug this video of a singer I really like doing a spoken word poem that made me think about my own origins. Here it is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aaEXJ0PltZM

Bad Pagan yet again

2009-09-22T13:07:00.002-04:00

So I just realized it is the equinox.....oops. I realize this as I am sipping the world's best cider (in my opinion at least). Well, I was planning to take a walk today anyways. Anyways Happy Equinox, do something nature-y today.

Searching for my muse

2009-08-16T10:04:00.003-04:00

I haven't written on here in some time. I've been terribly uninspired for awhile. I'm done with school and am at a loss for what to do now. Find a job (well obviously) sounds like such a simple thing. But with the way the economy is around here there isn't a whole lot around. Its gotten to the point where I just can't even make myself look for jobs anymore. I can't get my butt in gear to get anything done really. And part of it is I just don't care. That sounds terrible but there it is. somehow none of it seems important to me. It took me about a week to send out a school book someone bought from me, all the while it sat on my bed with the address yelling send me already!!!! I feel like for as long as I can remember I've been going down this river and as I got closer to the end of college the river moved faster and faster and faster until I was flung off the cliff and over the waterfall and now I'm caught in all the little currents going this way and that way and just floating around in circles. I know that the only way to get down to the next river is to swim and push through the currents but then here comes the I don't really care part. And maybe its not that I don't care, because I do care it frustrates me that I am living back at my parents house (when I'm not at my fiancee's house) with an almost job that doesn't even bring in $200 a month (if they actually get around to paying me). I am still awed by the idea that I don't have to go to school at the end of this month and it confuses me and I keep saying to myself well what the fuck am I supposed to do now? Maybe I'm just still disoriented from falling down the waterfall. I'm thinking about hitting up the local pagan shop for some greatly needed tarot consulting from a professional becasue as suspicious as I am of people who aren't me or my friends with our respective decks, I know that the lady who runs the place wouldn't fuck us all (her loving customers) over for some money. And I need a big cosmic neon arrow to point me in the direction I should go. Preferably one that points directly to the place (with no doubt that thats the one they mean) that would suit me well as thier newest employee.

On a lighter note, I went to see my grandma and we had a pretty nice time. We were civil, she liked my engagement ring, she let me have a cutting of her christmas cactus for me to take home I just have to pot it. All in all a pretty good visit (and that is saying something).

Well, hope everyone is doing well. Brightest blessings and great big hugs.

Evening walks to clear the mind work wonders

2009-07-12T22:44:00.003-04:00

So there has been lots of things going on. Lots of changes and craziness and lack of anything important in my head to write about. Well, more like at a total loss for anything to write about. I started a couple of posts only to delete the whole thing in the middle of writing and then stare at the screen dumbly. I figured today was a good day to post because my usual sunday posts are fairly easy. Pull card and write (I've been needing to consult the cards anyway)

The Page of Shields. A tenacious reliable person. One who resists any distractions when in pursuit of a goal. A serious scholar with great self discipline. A hunger for knowlege. A dedicated student. One who exhibits a keen buisness sense. An honourable, courageous person who does his or her best to help others. A messenger with good news (a job pretty please??!!!!)

well....it sounds like good things are in store though I'm not really sure who/what the cards are pointing to currently.

I got to make strawberry jelly!!!

2009-06-13T15:28:00.002-04:00

My boy was flabbergasted that I had never gone strawberry picking. I had told him we had strawberries in my garden when I was little but I don't really rememeber it. Last week he says to me the strawberry field near my house is open lets go pick strawberries. I thought it was really sweet that he took me cause he is rather sensitive to the sun and hates bugs.

There is something so perfect about a strawberry eaten just after picking. They are warm from the sun and so wonderfully sweet, nothing beats it in the fruit world.

We picked a whole quart of strawberries. All of which I got to take home (minus the ones we ate while at his house). I made jelly out of some and its soooo tasty, although a bit runny (ok I helped make). And on Monday or Sunday night I'm going to make a pie that alot of the rest will go on top of. Oh yeah and for the record frozen strawberries in leu of ice is AMAZING and I love whoever thought of the idea.

The Great Art of Loving and Accepting Ones Self

2009-06-12T11:20:00.002-04:00

Lots of personal/potentially akward stuffs in this one. Read at your own peril!!!

I am wierd. I don't follow mainstream logic in many ways. I don't think there is anything wrong with my body (true I'm not happy that my boobs are a bit more dangly but that isn't wrong, that my dears is nature). I am a Masochist/submissive. I've been told I act more confident after my boy indulges me in a "beating". Now and then I like to be treated like a little girl again. I still love to color. I think vultures and oppossums are cute. I belive in magic and the divine presence of a good and loving Goddess who is also amazingly badass as well as a strong and caring God who loves you even if you do bad stuff. I don't eat meat. I am not "normal". Many would label me wierd, freak, crazy, sick etc. And guess what. I'm pretty cool with that.

It has taken me a long, long time to get to this point. I am only now seeing myself as maybe pretty. As a child I thought I was ugly and gross. I had zero confidence in myself or anything I did. Now, I'm still shy but not nearly as shy as I once was. I would like to think I have more confidence in myself and i think others would agree with me. As I discovered my masochist nature I struggled a great deal with thinking I was one sick puppy. But then it dawned on me, no one was getting hurt but me if I was getting "beat" on and I was enjoying it so it couldn't really be thought of as being hurt, could it? At that point I decided I wouldn't question myself nearly as much about the things I liked.

A very good friend of mine told me I was Sick the other day because I'm a masochist. Though what I heard was HOLY CRAP WHATS WRONG WITH YOU. I understand that I suprised him and maybe I shouldn't have just dropped it on him like that but he was curious why I had not been sitting right (i got my ass "beat on" it was great, hurt like the dickens but I loved it). Despite all these things It hurt a whole lot to hear that from him, one of my best friends who I have known for 8 years. Another friend of mine who just cannot grasp the mentality of being a masochist and submissive told me he was worried about me. I began to worry that maybe I was really fucked up. I had a few chats with people and it comforted me a great deal to know that I am not the only person who at times wonders if they are a little on the messed up side. I was also told that I am not sick by a few friends who have more of an understanding of these things. I had realized I had fallen off the I love myself wagon when I began trying to justify my own actions to myself. Questioning yourself isn't a bad thing, we can even grow from it, but teling yourself you're a freak for doing something and then continuing to do it just isn't helpful. It leaves you feeling ashamed and embarrassed if anyone ever finds out about your secret. And then embarrassed that you have this secret at all. its a horrible circle.

I find it so frustrating that we spend our whole lives working on self love. Where has the human race gone wrong that we have to work so hard to love ourselves? Look at those things in your life and ask who is being hurt by them? If its just you being hurt (and your not like me and are enjoying said hurt) change it. It will be difficult at first. But know, there are so many others out there who have similar problems and really no matter how alone you feel in this one problem. You are not alone. If there is no one being hurt by it, accept this as part of yourself. Understand that you might be wierd for liking it but since no one is hurt by it, who cares. You can't love what you think is wierd and fucked up.

I am wierd, a freak, sick, and maybe a little crazy. I know this and love myself for it.

This needed its own post

2009-06-05T23:14:00.002-04:00

The last post, yeah, the one I just wrote is why I started this whole bit of silliness in my life. It was supposed to be a journey of self discovery and a place where I can put my ideas into coherent form and a place to remind myself and other of thier own sacredness. I am glad to see that I have somehow brought it back to that, and really without too much effort. I got lost somewhere along the way but I think I have things back on track.

Brightest blessings and a lovely full moon (almost) to light your way

health care that really works?

2009-06-05T22:38:00.003-04:00

I just watched an interestng movie. Sicko by Michael Moore about universal health care systems. As a graduate of college and currently unemployed I thank my lucky Divinely given stars that I am still eligible to be under my father's health insurance. At least until I get a job. This was one of the numerous things that plagued my waking hours while in my last year of college. My mother kept telling me I HAD to have health insurance. Of course, I knew this because I have 4 medications that I am currently on. 3 of which I take on a daily basis. But how was I going to pay for health insurance??? I didn't (and still don't) have a job I have to go to on a daily basis. My boy doesn't have health insurance and it is more or less understood if he gets sick enough that he must go to a hospital hes pretty much dead at this point, because there is no way he could pay for it himself.

Think about it. Really think. How nice would it be to walk into any hospital and get the care you need? Any tests or treatments a doctor thinks would benefit you, wouldn't that be nice? Yes, eventually you do pay for it. Its not really free. It is part of the tax money you pay every year.

We Americans have this intense dislike of parting with our money, even if it is to pave the roads we drive on and pay the cops, firefighters, and teachers we would very much like to keep around. I will admit I am guilty of this too (and will try to remind myself of this post next February). But I honestly think that the biggest problem we have with universal health care paid for by our tax dollars is that we are paying to help others get better too. In our society we are taught to value the individual, our own self and to hell with everyone else. Now yes, I do like being my own person and all that jazz BUT we are a herd species just like the deer, horse, and dog. We live in villages and cities. It all boils down to community and lack of it in the United States and our need for instant gratification. We don't want to help those less fortunate we want to go buy the biggest baddest TV we can find for our own enjoyment. Too much instant gratification.

Me, I wouldn't mind spotting my fellow human a few bucks to help with thier health care. I am haunted by a day when I was out with my friends and a man, obviously in desperate need of help on a cold night to get his sick child home needed help with gas money. I knew that I had the most money in our little group. My under the table job had just paid me and I had money in my wallet. But I, a "poor" college student (I actually was worried about my finances all the time) refused to help him. I should have helped him. If we had a better system in place such a thing would never have needed to happen. True, there are too many people in this world but once they are here they deserve to live thier lives too the fullest

How many times have you heard someone trying to pass some law that would make health care affordable? Yes, things would have to be worked out, all the bugs worked out, but I think it is a very do-able system. My one fear would be that the government would be able to cut funding for it like it has with the police and firefighters and teachers which cause there to be fewer of them. Of all things why kill our infrastructure like that? But I digress. HIllary Clinton was working on universal health care for a time but in the end gave up on it because of the negative propaganda that was circulating.

Personally, I would love to have universal health care even with the increase in taxes.

We are always changing

2009-06-04T23:40:00.006-04:00

I keep having grand ideas for a post and then by the time I get to my computer I forget them. Isn't it the way of things. I thought since I've graduated and all I would do another one of those lists about myself, but I can't seem to find it here so maybe I haven't done one yet on this blog. Either way, here goes 20 things that make up me.

1. Graduate
2. Student (I am always learning)
3. Priestess
4. human
5. female
6. pet owner
7. daughter
8. Sibling
9. girlfriend
10. friend
11. book worm
12. masochist (TMI I know)
13. submissive
14. happy
15. not stressed
16. employed (though it won't pay the bills so I'm looking for more work)
17. Pagan
18. vegetarian
19. pack rat
20. trying to be mindful (which by the way is super hard)

I think its funny how I almost forgot things like being a veggie because they are so much apart of me. I am still looking for that other list I know I made to see what the differences are because I know there are some. Alas, I am disorganized. And now it is my bed time. Brightest Blessings and good journey to you all.

Oh! and to my friend moving to Mass. See ya for the solstice.

Hey! im on time for once

2009-05-24T23:09:00.002-04:00

The card of the week is.......10 of Spears aka The Green Knight

I don't have my scanner right now so I can't show you a picture of the card but heres the definition/what I'm getting from it.

Feeling tremendous pressure. Encountering an awesome task which tests courage and diplomacy (great, lovely). Fellings out of one's depth. Living under the restrictions of a specific code of conduct (living in the parents house and not having my usually freedoms?). Temporarily suppressing personal desires in order to complete a task (not like I haven't been doing that the whole time I was in school). Playing by the rules of the game. Striving to please others (I fully disapprove of those two but will probably do it anyways). Success through perseverance (I hope so).

So basically the whole living back at home and needing to ask permission to go and do things and maybe whoring myself out looking for a job is what I'm seeing here.

Cooking, cleaning, and plants

2009-05-23T14:09:00.003-04:00

Sill working on the moving. I've made room for more of my stuff here in my room and the garage is ready for the cats....more or less. i tried baking yesterday and it came out rather sad. I made a pineapple upside-down spice cake. I thought it might be tasty as long as it didn't taste like bubble gum. And it is tasty however it diden't get baked all the way so the middle is still batter-y much to my frustration. Granted I didn't use a cast iron skillet like the direction said so maybe I should have made some alterations. Goes to show you cooking is a learning process. I also had some pretty nasty heartburm last night right after I ate said culinary experiment. I may not make that again, we shall see.

The funny thng about cleaning my room from one side to the other is I have more stuff that I am recycling then throwing out. I've got this bitty trash basket in my room and I think I have filled it up only once, going on twice now. it just amazes me how much paper stuff is in my room. And change, I can't tell you how much change I have thrown in my puppy bank. Its not a pig so I can't call it a piggy bank, its a little sharpe puppy bank that I've had for as long as I can remember.

In other news I am growing somewhere between 8 and 12 amarylises from seed that are sitting here with my mom's plants (thankfully she likes gardening too) They all came from the same plant but I'm hoping there will be some genetic variation and I'll have pretty amarylises all over (out of the cat's reach) in the winter. I officially killed my blueberry bush, sadly but the orange tree is doing well at mom's office (needed a place to stash it in its new huge pot). Hopefully my other plants at the apartment haven't died, I've been a neglectful mother.

changing with the times

2009-05-21T22:18:00.004-04:00

So I have officially graduated. The Divine saw fit to wait till after graduation for the big rains to come (we had the ceremony outside and got drizzled on). While we were all processing to the milling about area the clouds let loose and we got soaked, but at least it wasn't in the middle of all the diploma giving. The one nice thing about being graduated is that I can now study whatever the heck I want to and its a bit funny because now I'm not sure where to start. I kept saying once I graduate I'm going to learn more about this and this and that and ooo hey thats cool I want to know more about that. I'm going to have to work out a learning schedule or something (holy crap I'm creating a class schdule for myself!!! you can never get away from school). Currently I am moving out of my apartment slowly, I'm sure too slow for my roomate and her new roomate (who is already there amongst my clutter and my cats). I know I keep saying I'm going to get back on the writing wagon and currently without a job I have to go in to work for that might be possible. If the spotty wireless in my house lets me/I don't break down and use the devil computer that hates my guts and destroy the internet connection.
We shall see. Currently my life revolves around cleaning my room in my parents house so I can move my stuff from my apartment into my room. I am very much feeling like I am not getting anything done because I keep moving stuff into places I have cleared out. Its like a cycle of cleaning and rearranging and I'm getting frustrated with it. I really would like to just rent a U-haul and cart the rest of my stuff home and just get all the rearranging and moving and cleaning done with asap. I want to hold a Thank Gods I graduated ritual but I need to have my room clean so I have some free space to work in.
Tomorrow's project is scrubbing my garage floor so my cats can live in it so they don't get eatten by the family dog or irritate my dad's allergies (apparently hes allergic we just discovered this) or walk in stray motor oil or some other harmful thing and clean it off thier paws and end up super sick. I will learn the art of zen scrubbing (ie meditation through motion) which is an idea borrowed from a good friend of mine who does zen mopping. I thought it would be something interesting to work on while scrubbing instead of just letting my mind wander which can be unproductive at times.
hopefully in the coming days I will be able to have a better posting schedule up and implemented.

Make like a tomato and ketchup

2009-05-06T15:50:00.002-04:00

ok so things are rather crazy at the moment with graduation 10 days away and me trying to get my stuffs together so I can move out. Lets see here..... news.....I think I killed the blueberry bush (oops), my mother is baby sitting the orange tree and we repotted it and its growing! The primrose died too (I've been neglectful of my plants). I have a job that pertains to my major as a writer for an online newsletter thing. I'm thinking about bringing back "cooking in the Co-op" even if it won't be in the Co-op it will be at my parents house. Other then that....there isn't much to report. I'm going to try super hard to get back into posting daily, but I used to do it in the mornings before class and now I don't have the time for that so I get out of class and study.

Pull a card....any card. Late again I know.

2009-04-28T16:49:00.005-04:00

I think I just got a message from the universe to quit bitching. The story from this card is a look beneath the surface and find something wonderful type. Gawain marries this ass-ugly woman and during the marriage everyone is jeering but Gawain (who was forced into the marriage more or less) remains courteous to her throughout the marriage. But when it comes time to consumate the marriage his steadfastness wanes and he mopes in front of his fire trying to figure out how he can not bed this woman. (it seems he and I have both chosen this what seems to be a rather unappetizing option) Once he turns to face her she isn't the ass-ugly woman but the gorgeous Ragnell. This may be a time when I am supposed to find my own meaning in the card because it appears upside down but the meaning in the book makes little sense to me except for the not acknowleging the assistance of others bit (which......I wasn't moments before).

If I could have the opinions of my fellow card readers that would be helpful I think. The full meaning from the book is as follows: shallow spiteful behavior. broken promises. weak character. ignoring old friends. not acknowlegeing the assistance of others. social climber. superficial person who humiliates otheres to boost his or her own self confidence

I feel like I'm going through a growing period with my cards and I am having difficulty making out what they are saying to me, I find myself relying more on the story behind the cards and not the written meaning, which I suppose is how its supposed to be.....but it leaves me rather confused at times.

ok so its a bit late

2009-04-13T16:24:00.003-04:00

This weeks tarot card is.....The hermit

Ironically I have only gotten this card once before. This card is all about taking time for ones self to recouperate and become recentered, seeking answers/consulting the wisdom from within ones self.

I have looked at two other bloggers that pull cards at the begining of the week and each of them was about centering ones self and doing what you want to do regardless of how others see you. I'm thinking everyone needs to chill a bit after the Easter weekend and visiting with family. I myself definitely need a bit of a relax/centering period. I am having exams this week and was stressing over that and a few other things most of last week which lead to my distraction and not posting. I am planning on having a bit of me and "my" garden time later this week after exams are over which always makes me feel calm and good when I'm done....and maybe I'll finally just sit down and have time to finish reading Eragon which I have been carrying around and not reading because of lack of time.

Plant Post!!!

2009-04-02T23:08:00.003-04:00

well, the dumpster plant died. It was slowly dying all winter and then my roomate's boy came over and stayed for a week and I feel very akward wandering in to water plants with him there so I didn't and it died. Right before spring....is it wierd I feel bad? I'd been telling it to hang in there once spring came id put it outside and it would get all the sun and warm it could want and it died just before spring *facepalm* oh well. I never did get to figure out what those anonymous bulbs were they sprouted leaves and then died/dried up. I'm seeing a little green shoot trying to poke its nose out of the soil so we will see maybe something interesting will happen. all the other plants are still there (blueberry bush is still asleep I am waiting impatiently for it to wake up)and I'll be attempting to grow amarylis seeds again (this time at my parents house so Avi doesn't eat it). Mom got me edamame seeds to grow, I'm kinda excited about that. I'm also going to grow kale that she had laying about in a seed bag. See how that works. Oh yeah! and the bulbs me and my old roomate planted are growing! The hyacinthe are just about to open up and assault us all with thier beautiful smell (I am so excited). I had one crocus bloom with about 5 blossoms, I was impressed. So far no other bulbs have flowered but...I think there is more of them than we planted!

Happy April Fools

2009-04-01T08:58:00.002-04:00

The day of my Senior Sem is here (I still don't appreciate the humor of some of my professors) things will be fine and the card I pulled Sunday night reminds me to take a modest amount of pride in the hard work (and it was hard) I have done over this semester. Send me a nice good luck thought around 6:30 when presentations start.

So my latest pagan grand idea is to study the chakras mostly to help me balance myself, we all know I need as much balance as I can find. its going to be rather slow going as I am reading a book about them while waiting for the computer to turn on but I figure I'll absorb knowlege little bit by little bit and that will be better than flooding the brain with knowlege.

This is a nice idea I would like to see get off the ground

2009-03-31T16:24:00.003-04:00

http://www.verandasolar.com/about.shtml

This is a nice idea, if I had the money and they were selling them currently I would totally buy one....and then once I had the money I'd buy another and so forth until I had no room for more of them.

Bit of a format change

2009-03-30T01:01:00.004-04:00

Ok so now that I am back and almost done with Senior Sem. My presentation is on April fools day, someone has a sick, sick sense of humor. But I digress. On sundays from now until....I decide to change it. I will be pulling a tarot card from my deck (Legend The Arthurian Tarot) to see what I need to know for the coming week. This week I pulled the 8 of shields. Amusingly enough I was thinking about pulling a card that discussed this subject.

This card is of Wayland the master craftsman God in British mythology, whose weapons were surpassed my no one, working on crafting a shield. This card is all about working hard but taking pleasure from what you are doing. I am going to be optimistic about my employment possibilities this week.

I have been worrying about finding a job (at this point almost any job would do) for it seems like a very long time. Last week I woke up with this calm contentment and knowlege that everything would work out, and though I am again worrying about it that beautiful voice that is somehow mine but completely not at the same time, full of calm and a slight smile keeps telling me things will be ok and I find that I can't work myself up into a good panic about it as easily as I could before. Its so much harder to hit that one thought that sends me sliding down the spiral. This is the first time I will agree with anyone who says that bleeding from ones vagina brings you closer to the universe. For a long time Mother wasn't in my head, my prayer routine fallen to the wayside, I had battened down the hatches and was waiting for the storm to go away. And now, I think the worst of it has passed over and I can enjoy the thunder storm and the life giving spring rains (I will ignore the hail that i drove through today)

This isn't that hard

2009-03-28T09:43:00.003-04:00

I am reading this article the title being Cruel Irony: Do Renewable Power Plants threaten Thier Surrounding Environment. And the answer: Yes. Because you have to take lots and lots of land to make these wind farms and solar farms and such. Now I have no help for the wind farms they are of debatable good in my opinion me. But it seems to me that there would be little difficulty in putting solar panels on top of all the buildings in a city and maybe all the houses. Of course, this would need some study to see if it didn't blind birds or something with reflection (is there reflection? I'll do research on that at some point). I don't see the necessity of using acres and acres of land if we can just put them on top of buildings. Just cover the fuck out of all the building and house tops and well all be just fine. I feel like they keep doing things the hard way.....is it just me?

Here's that article http://www.sciam.com/blog/60-second-science/post.cfm?id=cruel-irony-do-renewable-power-plan-2009-03-25&sc=CAT_ENRG_20090326

P.S. No heart defects!!!

This is me, reaching back out to the universe

2009-03-26T09:12:00.002-04:00

*peeks out of the shell*
Well, there is about a week until the stressful things go away and I give my Senior Seminar presentation and turn in my paper soon after so...things are looking almost like they could get better. Though in all honesty, I'm not sure they will just yet. I've been having health problems galore (all non-life threatening but impressive all the same) my new Doctor is concerned my heart doesn't beat properly so I get to go get a heart ultrasound today and frankly I'm scared. Scared up one side and down the other and ready to cry (not that by now I'm not used to that feeling, me and being on the verge of tears have been best friends for a couple months now).
I read this thing by Susun Weed a few moments ago saying how skin ailments have an emotional component *glares at hands* basically stress = ecxima. Stress....check. excima....check (yeah, again). I'm hoping the boy is right and all this health stupidity will right itself once I'm less stressed out. Now all I have to do is find me something that pays the bills and feeds my cats.

Ok universe, here I am.....please don't do your worst. I am going to work at getting back to daily postings since the cats wake me up really early and I have time to post before class.

Feeling really good, for just this week

2009-03-13T11:37:00.002-04:00

Ok, I am on spring break currently so things have been pretty nice. Spent lots of time with the boy, friends from high school (still recovering from that one), did some work in the job hunting, went to see an art museum exhibit on kimonos which was goddamn amazing. Currently life is good. I am thinking about attempting to take up martial arts....again...ish. I talked to my boy's instructor and he assured me we could work around the knee issues easily. His instructor is awesome and made me feel very welcome when i sat in and watched a class, now I just have to get the guts up to join in. The boy keeps saying it will be a good place for me to battle some of my shy issues and he would really like to see me go for it since I want to do it but am a total pansy (I tried to chicken out on going and participating, then I shafted myself out of a car and couldn't go to class anyways) I have no fear of pain, just lots of people I don't know. I decided I want to do this because I need something my brain must focus on as a way to give my brain a break from all the oher things it focuses on, on a daily basis, because I've become rather pathetic and will cry at the least upsetting thing. But I will say it is amazing how just thanking the Gods for the good things you had during the day does definitely help (when I remember to do it). So I leave you with song lyrics from a song I rediscovered amongst my musical collection and my comentary on it. It pretty much sums up my beliefs on life right now.

I believe the sun should never set upon an argument (don't want to go to bed grumpy)
I believe we place our happiness in other people's hands (yeah, kinda)
I believe that junk food tastes so good because it's bad for you (so true)
I believe your parents did the best job they knew how to do (some do better then others)
I believe that beauty magazines promote low self-esteem (damn straight they do)
I believe I'm loved when I'm completely by myself alone (you have to love yourself)
I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned (what goes around comes around)
I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned(I imagine its true)
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side (mmmhmm)
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye (so very true)

I believe you can't control or choose your sexuality (yup)
I believe that trust is more important than monogamy (I've come to realize the truth of this statement very much, so much less drama when everyone is honest)
I believe your most attractive features are your heart and soul (I don't give one damn about the skin coverings of a person)
I believe that family is worth more than money or gold (doesnt have to be blood related)
I believe the struggle for financial freedom is unfair (fuck yes it is)
I believe the only ones who disagree are millionaires (oh yeah)

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

I believe forgiveness is the key to your unhappiness (eh, yes and no)
I believe that wedded bliss negates the need to be undressed (but the being undressed part is so much fun)
I believe that God does not endorse TV evangelists (They sure as hell don't)
I believe in love surviving death into eternity (its a nice idea if nothing else)

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

time to turn out the lights for awhile

2009-02-20T17:32:00.003-05:00

Due to an over abundance of school work I have lost most interest in my own life. I am pretty much too tired to care at this point and so will not even pretend that keeping up this blog is anywhere near my priority list at the moment. Right now my priority list is being a bookmark for a book I'm using for a research project so its always near me. So for the moment I am taking an extended hiatus from writing these blogs (I'll bet you figured that one out though due to my absense anyways). I'll be back when things calm down.

A letter to the universe

2009-02-19T01:03:00.003-05:00

Dear Mom n Dad
Thanks a million for me popping out with all 10 toes and fingers and all the proper things a person is supposed to have. I really, really love my hands. Really, they are awesome.
Love
the one who has two working hands again

Yeah, having 2 hands that work suddenly not work is scary and awe inspiring and humbling and frustrating. There is a psychological effect too, I felt....broken or something and it made me really shy and quiet feeling, and I didn't want to go anywhere (technically they were broken...picture blown up rubber gloves instead of hands and you get the idea). I'm not sure I can really explain it. I was a child with an adult's body and mind who knew that it shouldn't work like this. That I shouldn't have to be fed like a baby or someone put my shoes on my feet and buckle me into the car because I had lumps of useless puffy flesh instead of fingers. (I plan to accidentally die from something if I ever actually get into a position where I lose my hands for good) But they work again thanks to the meds the ER doc gave me. It was a bit funny but in my early morning, scared about my hands, just payed $100 copay haze the doc walked in and I immediately had a flash of the twilight movie where Carlisle walks into the room where Bella is getting her head checked out after the almost near death accident....Yeah, I am a total dork but it was all good until he grabbed my thumb to lift my wrist up to his level to check my pulse. That. Hurt. A lot. (at least the nurse was nice enough to come down to my hand's level to check my pulse. Apparently my pulse was rather high when we first got there and the nurse didn't belive me or my boy when we said I have a bit of an anxiety problem) Not that I would have yelped and swatted at the man, I just made an ow face and let him man handle my sausage fingers. What a great way to spend ones 1 year aniversary (and the day after) with your boy. OK but really, its time for bed now.

its warm!!!!

2009-02-10T22:39:00.003-05:00

Because I am sitting here at my parents house so I can borrow the car tomorrow to get the demons vaccinated and have nothing do to currently (not true but I never get work done here) I am going to take a page from my friend's blog and do a describe myself post. I am putting a few constraints on it just because. They will be one word descriptions and they cannot be negative (ie bad at drawing). I'm going to shoot for 25 because it sounds like a good number. Here goes.
1 loyal
2 lover (of so many things)
3 a submissive (ok i realize thats 2 words but saying just submissive wasn't working)
4 hippy
5 vegetarian
6 pagan
7 masochist
8 Older sister (that counts as one word too)
9 adult
10 Child
11 student
12 teacher
13 shy (but getting better)
14 quiet (when I'm not around my friends)
15 book worm
16 friend
17 dreamer
18 scared (its not negative, and its a very big part of me right now)
19 loved
20 Cancer (I have said that in the negative before but today it just describes me)
21 gardener
22 beautiful (so they tell me anyways, today I feel good so I feel beautiful)
23 earth mother (even if I don't want offspring)
24 environmentalist
25 Co-oper

Hey that wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it would be. It got a little tough around the end there but, I really enjoyed that. I think I will do it again someday.

taps on watch where did my time go?

2009-02-09T22:29:00.002-05:00

So yeah....I've been distracted lately. Was sick last week (and am still getting better). I actually started that experiment...but then I got sick and didn't feel like puting the arnica stuff on. Instead, I slept alot and stared glassy eyed at my computer screen watching movies. When I told my boy we will have to try the experiment again I got a look that said "yeah uh huh....riiiight. Just say bite me and don't use experiment as the excuse". The week before that, well....that was just a bad week and I had mostly lost interest in my own life for a bit. We are trying to not be apathetic, its hard sometimes. So far this week I am feeling pretty good, we shall see how things go. I probably won't post as much as before because I am so very super amazing busy. Oh yeah, and my boy told me I should make posts about my sexlife....(don't worry I won't) but it was a really funny conversation cause we were imagining actual posts and what I would discuss.

A little herbal lore and some TMI

2009-01-27T21:13:00.002-05:00

Arnica: good for sprains strains and bruises
You don't really want to be injesting this stuff but it is great for external use. I've been using this arnica salve I bought on some bruises I've aquired through purely consentual ways. My boy and I tend to enjoy a rough tumble in the sac now and (more often than) then and I tend to come out a bit marked up. Sometimes these marks are more obvious (huge purple things on the sides of my neck)then others. I've used the arnica salve on a few just to experiment and they seem to clear up alot quicker. I'm thinking about doing an experiment with 2 bruises where one gets the salve and the other doesn't just to see if it actually works as well as I think it does. The way its supposed to work is that arnica causes the bitty capillaries in the skin to dilate where it has been applied. This allows more blood into the area to carry off the escaped blood in cases of bruising, or more blood into an ouchy area to help it heal faster. It sounds to me like it would work better on bruising then sprains and strains but I haven't tried it yet.....maybe i should try it on my tweaky muscle in my neck to see how it works. I have a tweaky muscle when I move my head in certain ways (depending on my stress level) it tweaks causing a sharp pain to go up my neck and usually makes me make a vocal noise of pain. Nothing is more embarassing then sitting down at a fairly quiet table and as you sit your neck tweaks and you gasp out in pain and they all look up at you.
I'll let you know how the experiment goes.

still working on that new schedule

2009-01-26T21:26:00.002-05:00

well, last week was hell and I'm still feeling the ripples off it. Still waiting to see about that positive earth shattering change the cards talked about. I don't exactly know where I stand with a very good friend of mine and I still pretty much want to curl up in bed and not move until things are back to how they should be. Of course, with this change the cards speak of that may never happen, which really is too terrifying a thought to entertain at this point in time because I cannot imagine what this positive change could be and thinking about it only makes the nervousness worse.
I've set up a meeting with the career center lady to help me find a job after school. depending on how intricate and full of stuff to do that process ends up being I might talk about that....not that it will help stave off the panic (the whole reason this blog was created) so maybe not a good idea. I don't have a cooking shift this semester. I'll probably bring back the cooking talk when I get out of here and have a place of my own where I have to cook food because that was alot of fun and I have a million recipes I want to try. If I do the tarot stuff which I'm thinking I will, it will need to be sunday night. We shall see....when I'm not submerged up to my knees in homework. I'm also thinking of buckling down and working on meditation stuff to help ease the nervousness spoken about above, the theory being if I write about it here, I'll actually do it.
On a different note entirely arnica (its an herb) is pretty sweet stuff. I'll talk more on that tomorrow.

Tarot cards, The divine instrument to deliver cosmic 2x4s

2009-01-23T11:15:00.003-05:00

To the back of my head.....repeatedly or just one really hard brain jolting, ear ringing, lets not leave our room today for fear of more reprocussions blow to the head.

And now a letter to the universe

Dear Mom and Dad
I know you don't control people's actions.....but really now? Do I need to deal with this shit right now? Couldn't there have been a less stressful time for people to pull stupid shit on me? Some time when people's well meaning "help" won't make me burst into tears cause I'm so stressed and their still well meaning but even less helpful attempts at making me do what they think I should making things worse for me and certain people I care the world about....is this REALLY necessary?
Love always
you're super confused and really unhappy daughter

We

2009-01-20T20:47:00.003-05:00

As I was watching the inauguration today this quote from my favorite science fiction show, Babylon 5, floated up from the depths of my brain. It used to be a favorite quote of mine, I'd always loved the idea of creation that it conjured. It was a place of beauty and peace. I hadn't thought about that quote for a long, long time. In the show the captain of the space station is talking to a technomage, a person who does magic with technology. The quote goes like this:

Elric(technomage),"We are dreamers, shapers, singers, and makers. We study the mysteries of laser and circuit, crystal and scanner, holographic demons and invocations of equations. These are the tools we employ and we know many things."
Sheridan,(captain) " Such as."
Elric, "The true secrets, the important things, 14 words to make someone fall in love with you forever. 7 words to make them go without pain or say good-bye to a friend who is dying. How to be poor. How to be rich. How to rediscover dreams when the world has stolen them."

We are dreamers, shapers, singers, and makers......it calls to mind the way Tolkien opened up the Silmarillion with a creation story of the Gods singing the world into being. Each and every person can sing their own world into being. We aren't Gods but we have been given the gift of creation and truely the only thing that can limit us is our own creativity. And if many put thier minds to something it can happen, look what we acomplished. We elected the first Black president. Look what we have acomplished. Dreamers, shapers, singers and makers.....THAT is what is inside each of us. We only have to choose, lets hope we choose correctly.

Happy MLK day

2009-01-19T21:28:00.002-05:00

You should watch this its a great song, I don't really like the images that go with the song but its the best quality I could find.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jl_QUZBUyLE&feature=related

Yeah, I'm hopped up on extra strength excedrin because I had a badass headache and can't sit still long enough to focus to write anything of merit. Small body + 2 extra strength excedrin = Caffeine high

Every little bit helps

2009-01-17T11:33:00.004-05:00

I thought about this just as I was going to bed last night. In these trying times where we are all doing our best to save our money charities are getting shafted. But there are still ways to help that don't cost us a penny. Click to donate sites. You, free of charge (except what it costs to keep your computer and internet running) click on these little buttons and certain companies donate a small amount (it really is itty bitty) of money to that charity. Personally I think this idea is awesome. Here is one click to donate site that has compiled a whole lot of them in one place.

http://thenonprofits.com/

And while we are talking about such things why not donate money to charities you specify while you search for things online?

www.goodsearch.com

In this way you don't have to feel bad that you didn't give money to whoever this year because you are still helping.

I found a use for winter!

2009-01-16T20:28:00.003-05:00

This is a thought I had a few days ago about saving electricity/money. In the winter why not just put your frozen things outside, they'll stay just as cold...possibly colder. You might even put the things in your fridge out there....that might be a bad idea. But if your family is anything like mine you have a huge freezer someplace that is full of stuff that no one eats and some turkeys that have been in there for a very....very long time. Putting that stuff in a container outside would save you and the environment a bit of hassle. Just a thought.

Plant Post!!!

2009-01-15T21:15:00.002-05:00

well, my tomatoes survived break a little more then worse for wear and the impatient dumpster plant is still hanging in there by a few fingers. Everything is looking a bit ragged (I keep telling them just a few more months and I'll be able to put them outside in the warm sunshine) except for the still un-named batch of bulbs that are sticking up single pokey leaf like things. I have 3 amarylises now. My first has a mold problem on its leaves so its only growing a flower this year, and probably won't flower next year, if it lives. The second one looks like it won't flower this year and my new one hardly has its leaves poking out of the bulb and its already growing a flower.

Lets not do depressing things today

2009-01-14T20:56:00.003-05:00

I had this article all ready for your viewing pleasure (or something) about how autism is on the rise and is being linked to infant exposure to pesticides, and house cleaners and viruses and other toxic crap like that but I'd rather not talk about that today, so I think I'll do that book review I was planning on.

The book is called Food Not Lawns: How to turn your yard into a garden and your neighborhood into a community by Heather Coburn Flores. I saw this book in borders in the gardening section and mentioned it to my mom and *poof* it was under the christmas tree. But really it was a great book. (of course my father didn't let me get 6 pages into it before he tried debating with me how not everyone can grow thier own food, and kept trying to debate with me after I told him that I hadn't even gotten through the 6th page yet) There was alot of thing about gardening and how to fill a garden space (I mean really fill it by using plants that will work together to help eachother grow. ex) 3 sisters corn, beans, squash) but also alot of other interesting ways to lower your carbon footprint and reusing water from showers and sinks for different purposes, as well as ways to bring your neighbors closer together. There were a few things that I wasn't quite sure really fell in with the conserving water ideas that she spoke of now and then but all in all it was a very interesting book and I think I will try some of her ideas. The title was a little misleading because it really was packed with more then just community garden information. I also really liked that the back of the book was packed with resources as well as footnotes where you can read more about certain subjects. I really feel like I got more information then I payed for in some ways.

And here we go one more time around the wheel

2009-01-13T08:42:00.002-05:00

Recently I have been reading many books that all say the same thing about cycles. "they are more like spirals" because every time they come back to the original spot the cycle is a little different. And I am begging to agree. I've started my last 2nd semester of school and it is much the same as every other time I've done it. I'm older, the classes are different but it always follows the same routine: get schedule, find the classroom, get a seat, get a syllabus and go through it, have some lecture time before class is over. For a while I could intellectually understand why they said this but I never really agreed with it (maybe I just hadn't thought about it hard enough). So now I agree....(and really wish someone would come open up the co-op cause I'm starving my ass off).

I have a few new ideas for things to talk about on different days, one of them being astrology (it will depend on if I have time to learn things myself), I may or may not have a cooking shift this semester hopefully I'll find out by next week. I might also try and talk about tarot cards, maybe pull a card a week (it will aid in my learning of my own deck that I've had for at least 3 or 4 years and still don't know). We shall see. All will get sorted out in the fullness of time (which could be a really long time from now)

Oh mercury retrograde.....

2009-01-12T17:17:00.003-05:00

yeah, mercury is in retrograde and is making my life rather frustrating.

Got this off a astrology on the web and as I am technologically challenged and can't figure out how to link things properly I'll just put up the bit I found really interesting: At 16:45 UT (Universal Time), on Sunday, January 11th, 2009, Mercury the cosmic trickster turns retrograde in Aquarius, the sign of the Water-Bearer, sending communications, travel, appointments, mail and the www into a general snarlup! Since this is the day of the potent Full Moon in Cancer, people's emotions will be on high alert! The retro period begins a few days before the actual turning point (as Mercury slows). In general, Mercury rules thinking and perception, processing and disseminating information and all means of communication, commerce, education and transportation. By extension, Mercury rules people who work in these areas, especially people who work with their minds or their wits: writers and orators, commentators and critics, gossips and spin doctors, teachers, travellers, tricksters and thieves. Mercury retrograde gives rise to personal misunderstandings; flawed, disrupted, or delayed communications, negotiations and trade; glitches and breakdowns with phones, computers, cars, buses, and trains. And all of these problems usually arise because some crucial piece of information, or component, has gone astray or awry.

That sounds like my weekend and today....especially that emotions on high alert and mail going wonky bit. No matter what anyone says about the horoscopes being off because of planetary shift and such I am totally and irrevocably a cancer and I appologize for it. It was a bad weekend.

Late night super fast musings

2009-01-07T23:11:00.002-05:00

I always forget what I want to talk about on here if I don't write it down right away. I've have a few great ideas over break....and then promptly forgot them. I had a thought while I was at work today though, stemmed partly from Twilight (great books....movies are very close to them which makes me happy). In this one scene Bella (the main character/damsel in distress) and Edward (main vampire character who saves Bella every 5 seconds) were talking and he says to Bella, something along the lines of you don't see yourself clearly. Of course, the boy is blinded by love but that phrase still sent my brain wandering (work is boring and very condusive to brain wanderings). Everyone has a skewed view of themselves, no one sees themselves clearly. And I began to wonder how/where my view of myself is skewed and what other people actually see in me. I am a fairly quiet and shy person (probably viewed by those who don't know me as downright anti-socialness) unless you put me in a room with a bunch of my friends, I don't talk unless I have something to add to a conversation, I love to dance but don't do it often (do it rarely would be more accurate), nor do I have any strong desire to work REALLY hard at making myself up and looking amazing (I don't dress to impress just anyone....if I do it, it is to impress a specific someone now and again) I am a submissive by nature and cringe at leadership type things. I am comfortable with how I am. It has been pointed out to me that this combination of traits shows itself as low confidence (yes I have a hard time beliving I am pretty, what girl doesn't? Blame society!). Yes, this is what I think about when I file papers....among other things.

What do others see when they see/know you? (not what you think they see, what do they REALLY see?) In ways that is more you the the warped bendy carnival mirror we look at ourselves through (only look through the eyes of people you know for this or you might see yourself worse then you already do)

By next week I should be back to regular schedule with a few post schedule modifications

Ok so I'm bad when I'm on break

2009-01-06T20:53:00.004-05:00

Work and visiting friends I hardly ever see distract me. But I have two things today to chat about. 1) is the fact that the trail mix I got for Christmas came from Walmart. Dad thought it was funny because I hate Walmart and WILL NOT shop there. There is something very wrong with buying a person a present from a place they hate for moral reasons. That would be like buying him pagan stuff. But I digress.

For those of you who prefer tasty organic veggie foods I have scary news for you. We might still be getting those antibiotics they put in farm animals through use of manure as fertilizer.

http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=vegetables-contain-antibiotics&sc=CAT_HLTH_20090106

Oh what a messed up world we live in.

Its no wonder the Solstice is a big deal

2009-01-02T22:43:00.002-05:00

It got dark around 5:30 today. There is nothing, I mean NOTHING, better then seeing the days lengthen during the winter months. That little reminder that it won't stay cold forever. It will only seem like forever before the spring and summer come. It gives hope to those of us who grudgingly aknowlege that it is part of nature and it is a great demonstration of the cycle of life/death/rebirth and therefore maybe has some value and we can learn something from it.....maybe. As long as we don't die of cold or cold season first.

Catch up time

2008-12-27T22:16:00.003-05:00

well, I'm back home. A little worse for wear but that is how visits to Grandmother's house go. I ended up yelling at grandma (not the best thing to do) but I almost feel proud of myself for not just sitting there and taking her snipping at me and my sister (really, it started with my sister. No one bitches at/hurts in any way shape or form my sister.) The boy is trying to work to help me be less.....ruglike (getting walked all over). I think its working. The visit was nice except for the last hour or so, but I digress.

I saw this in my zillion e-mails that I haven't gotten to read since I left for vacation.

http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=toxic-ash-pond-collapses&sc=CAT_HLTH_20081223

All I can say to this is WHOOPS!!!! And bye-bye animals and good drinking water and pretty landscape. Oh yeah, and the mountain justice folks are gonna have a field day. Go mountain justice folks!!!! They're a good bunch.

Reminder to all: There is no such thing as clean coal. Talk to your energy provider and see about getting your energy from clean sources like wave, wind, solar, etc.

Happy (almost 24 hours late) yule

2008-12-22T23:06:00.002-05:00

Boy, this weekend has gone by fast. I mean really, really fast. I spent Yule at my good friend's house with a few of my pagan friends/unofficial coven type thingy/open circle. We made pomanders (I don't actually remember the words to the ritual just the actions) and gave presents (I think mostly cause its habbit now). But it was so much fun, and a great way to relax after classes and running about all weekend. Things are a bit stressful around the house because its almost Christmas and my mom got hurt and is mostly relegated to laying on a couch with a good book, which as my father said "wasn't part of the plan". But if that isn't a message from the body to slow the fuck down, I don't know what is. And it is that time of year when the body goes "whoa! Fuck no!". Anyway, I will be going to my grandmother's for Christmas so I will not be posting until next week. Wish me luck that things go smoothly and no arguments and such occur (Grandma and I are very, very different people and in her eyes my way is wrong, thankfully she doesn't know I'm pagan)

Plant Post!!!

2008-12-18T16:12:00.002-05:00

well, i have a new plant....6 to be exact. I dunno what they are or how many will sprout. 2 of them are palm like bushes and 4 are some sort of bulb (got them for free from this lady who lives downt he stree) which i added soil and water to. We will see if they will grow and what they will grow into. Yay more mystery plants, and with luck they will flower and be pretty. Which reminds me I should check on the palm bushes to see if they sprouted and to water them. I love tropical plants cause they grow all year round (if kept properly) and they don't add to the co2 levels when they go to sleep for the winter, they just keep on sucking up the co2. Which is a good thing cause they rise and fall a bit with spring and summer and fall respectively. The rest of my plant children are hanging in there the best they can.

Glitter falling from the sky

2008-12-16T21:09:00.003-05:00

On my way back from the co-op it was snowing. The snow was so fine that I couldn't see it falling in the dark (saw it all over the sidewalks though) but I could feel it hitting me and under the lights of street lamps it looked like glitter falling from the clouds, it was so pretty. (one of the only times you will ever hear me say anything nice about snow, though we are becoming less angry at eachother)

Today I shall address paper. It has become essential to our lives from writing little reminder notes to ourselves, to writing papers for work or school. We waste alot of it and destroy whole stands of trees (my father would point out that they were grown for that purpose), destroying habitat for animals and causing all sorts of environmental problems. Yes institutions have set up recycling systems and sell paper made from portions or sometimes all post consumer waste (recycled paper) which is a good thing. They say recycle and use recycled paper as much as possible. But what no one thinks about (I have only ever heard it mentioned once) is books. Do you know how much paper is used to satisfy this world's thirst for good books? (walk into a book store and think about that, its mind boggling) I don't know either but its alot. I am a book addict myself. Vacation means me sitting in a chair reading a book all day. In light of this I offer you a couple of options to continue your book digestion in a more environmentally friendly way as well as easier on the wallet. Library sales are amazing (so is borrowing from the library), go on bag day but go early (that is how I have ended up with 3 shelves of books I have not read yet. Bag day is like black friday except that you can buy as much as you can fit in a bag for an itty bitty amount of money). You can buy used books (oh no its been read already!) online and at half priced books (if you have one near you, fabulous invention, really) or www.bookmooch.com a great place to swap books with people all over the country but you have to have books you are willing to give to people.

Oh the holidays are coming

2008-12-15T22:29:00.002-05:00

So life is fairly uneventful. Me and one of my old cooking shift mates made a late lunch on friday cause I was hungry (cause class goes from 9 till 1 and I didn't get a lunch break that day) and she wanted to cook. I grabbed an Earthwatch Ohio newsletter from mustardseed when I popped in there on Sunday and found a few interesting articles. Apparently there is a study being done about setting up a windfarm like thing off in Lake Erie (not a bad idea, apparently wind is better off shore and Lake Erie gets more wind then some of the other Great Lakes) and there is a bill in the House of Representatives (HR 1009 <-- thats the bill number) to allow industrialized hemp to be grown. http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/thomas (that is the bill as it stands currently) Industrialized hemp is a good thing, and doesn't have enough THC to get a person high. They are two different species of cannabis. Its good for making clothes, hemp seed oil which is really good for you to name just two and currently it is illegal to grow because of its relation to pot. So everyone should tell thier respective representatives to approve the bill cause I think it would be a good idea.
Regarding the website i mentioned earlier, its pretty sweet http://thomas.loc.gov/ you just go there and type in the name of a bill or its number and it tells you whats going on with it currently. One good thing I got from my environmental policy class.

Plant post

2008-12-11T10:32:00.002-05:00

well, my tomatos and impatient aren't doing so well. Iv'e been a bad plant mommy and hadn't watered them in a week so everybody's leaves were pretty soft but the primrose wasn't even wilted! I just keep telling the impatient just a few more months (ok 5 more months) and it will be warm again and it can go outside and get all the sun it wants....after spring. I find myself not minding the cold and the snow so much this year. yeah, I freeze my butt off every night at my computer and have to wrap my comforter off my bed round me so I don't die of shivering (a slight exaggeration...but only a teeny one) but I still don't really mind it. I'm thinking about borrowing my roomates turtle UV lamp for an hour and sitting my plants under it cause she isn't using it. It might help the dumpster plant and my tomatos who are growing tall but rather sparsely...well one of them is, the other is growing over (and trying to poke my sleeping blueberry bush) and I don't have a thing to prop it up with. The blueberry is definitely asleep with most of its leaves still attached but all dry and easy to pull off (I tried yesterday just to see). Everybody else is growing nicely as far as i can tell much to my pleasure.

So similar...yet, so different

2008-12-10T22:25:00.002-05:00

It amazes me that there are so many, many similarities between christianity and paganism. There are so many similarities, yes I realize many of these are because they were originally pagan traditions. BUT both religions have evolved for years as separate entities and lately I've seen traditions in the pagan community borrowed from the Christians (they may have been orriginally borrowed from us...I don't know). Once a person can look past the bullshit and see that each is only following thier path you can see that there are so many similarities. Why the hell are we fighting? (A topic I will not be discussing) Ok so everyone new plan! Religious tolerance and such.

I suppose this is a necessary environmental type post

2008-12-09T16:46:00.003-05:00

And the expected disscussion on decorations for this time of year commences:
People don't use excessive amounts of lights, its gross and ugly and sucks up your money, and uses up way to much of that energy creating coal and gas and stuff. And don't leave it on for 5 million hours a night it has the same effect as using too many. If you want to get lights get the LED ones, those are the most energy efficient currently, but don't light up the whole front yard. A few strands here and there on the outside of the house is sufficient and I'll even understand if you use some on a christmas tree. Ok this really wasn't meant to sound like a rant but there it is.

Saturday morning in a warm building with some tea, could there be better?

2008-12-06T11:36:00.002-05:00

Probably but currently this is heaven.
This could just be the after effects of a good and entertaining (in a bad way) concert talking and the pride I tend to feel in supporting good local bands but its ok. I am going to start a new project of sorts. Well, actually its an ongoing project but I haven't talked about it yet. I've gotten into this habbit of saying prayers morning and night. Every morning I say the same prayer asking for help during the day with certain things (I borrowed two prayers and mashed them together it just worked so well together I couldn't help it). At night I thank the Gods for all the good things that happened during the day. Sometimes the list is fairly extensive and sometimes its just "thanks for my apt and my kitties sleeping next to me and all my friends who keep me sane and good co-op food Yay God (sorry had a summer camp moment there)". Sometimes when going through the morning prayer I rush through it and don't really think about what I am saying, sometimes I even find myself thinking about other things when I say it and then I don't remember saying half the prayer, then I am reminded of how I used to laugh at the people in church because when they said thier prayers (especially the Our Father) they never sounded like they meant them, it was just something to say because the priest says ok its time to say this. They sounded like the borg from startrek, all monotone and not remotely enthusiastic all saying it together because they are supposed to. My goal is to really focus on the words and mean them, and if I don't mean them to not say them at all. Its like this game we played in my acting class you were supposed to make your partner do something and if your partner wasn't feeling it they weren't supposed to do it, you had to make them want to do whatever it was.
I find it so hard sometimes (ok all the time, my mind almost never stops) to focus on one thing, to be in that moment only. Its a little funny, the idea of being entirely in this moment, nowhere else, not letting the mind wander to what you are making for dinner or plans for the next day, fully commiting every ounce of you to one thing, even focusing on one breath at a time seems like such a new and novel concept in paganism but it's really not a new idea at all. The budhists had it first and mainstream is just discovering it now (ok not mainstream but people write articles amazed at how amazing this idea is). Anyway so the goal is to sit there in front of my altar and say my prayer and be THERE and not be distracted by my own brain and MEAN what I say (not that I don't mean it now, I just don't like the idea of getting into such a habbit that I sound like the borg saying a prayer I wrote....errr compiled. I think there is a bit of buddhism squeezing its way into my eclectic witchery, not that its a bad thing they have lots of good ideas. (oh snap more stuff from India....really ought to get on that researching Hinduism. Oh the things I could do if I didn't always have class)

well....we are attempting to get back to regularly scheduled broadcasts

2008-12-04T14:08:00.007-05:00

Well, today is a plant post day......I think I've talked about all the plants I have. I repotted my amarylises and one is already growing....I think. We shall see. I thought I would talk about the gardens I would have if I get a house. All the trees would be fruiting or nut bearing trees (unless I randomly live in the woods, in which case there will be beech and maple trees predominantly) and a lilac bush or five. And I would have a veggie garden (that might double as a community garden) and an herb garden and then an animal friendly garden for birds and butterflies and little four footed ones to shelter in and find food (not that the 4 footed cousins won't do that to all of them). I want to buy as little produce from the grocery store as possible. Yeah, I have lots of projects in mind. And just to help everything along I just might raise bees in there too. And I would have heirloom veggies from seedsavers and stuff from the local farmers market during the season...oh! and chickens (no roosters). That way I can have eggs I know are animal friendly cause I will take care of them and not kill them when they get too old to produce, nope I'll keep them and love on them till they die. Then they will go in my garden to feed the plants. Which is a thought that doesn't bother me one bit...is that odd? And I don't see that as animal exploitation because I would be adopting them from somewhere and using only what they discard anyway. And I will have a stand of sunflowers to use as bird feeders in winter (unless the chickadees get to them first which is very possible). And on my off days (when I'm not working) I will go to a horse barn and ask if I can muck out a stall and keep the poo to put in my gardens aaaaand I'm going to compost with wormys probably (it sounds like the easiest way) and use the wormy poo on my plants too. My yard will be so pretty!!! And will hardly have to be mowed except in the very begining.

My environmental econ prof would be so proud of me

2008-12-02T10:24:00.002-05:00

Back to your regularly scheduled programing
My school just built this new fancy ass dorm building, it is considerably more eco-friendly then the other ones we have here on campus. It has motion sensored lights (I'm not sure if that helps cause you have to have the sensor on all the time). It has this lecture hall that is super fancy with electronics and chalk boards (cause you can solve the worlds CO2 problem by making chalk CaCO3 (so says the environ econ prof)....lots and lots of chalk , not to mention that dry erase markers give off funny chemicals and then you throw them away adding to the waste pile which doesn't happen with chalk). This building was also painted with low emission paint wich is supposed to be so much better for the world cause it doesn't emit as many bad chemicals (yay!). The chairs in the lecture hall have 4 screws in them (I think) and they come apart into 9 recyclable pieces and the carpet is made in such a way that there is minimal glueing to the floor (that is not toxic anyway) because they made it so there is a suction between carpet and floor, the carpet is layed down in squares not big sheets so you don't have to replace the whole thing if there is a problem you can just take out that square and replace it. The pattern in the carpet is such that if you remove a square and replace it no one would notice the difference anyway. This company the carpet came from is super cool because they are working towards zero waste to garbage dump, instead they put everything back into production which is pretty damn sweet (see what I learned in econ class). Oh! and the toilets are low flow and depending on if you go #1 or #2 you pull the handle in a certain direction and it will use more water or less which I thought was the coolest thing ever, I totally want one in my house. If the school ever gets off its lazy ass a portion of the roof could be a green roof which would be a good thing (they won't get off thier asses tho....I know them). Yay for environmentally friendly things!

Break from school distracted me

2008-12-01T21:57:00.005-05:00

All 4 days of it. The other days of absence were due to exams

Yay Thanksgiving break! It was nice, the boy tried to help keep me sane during exams (if you want to be technical that was before break). I saw friends I haven't seen in forever and stayed out till ungodly hours of the night like college students are supposed to. I worked on my cookbook and will be attempting to make it a cooking Book of Shadows (from here on in BoS) of sorts. While also trying to decorate the current BoS which I haven't touched in a loooong time, I should work on that. I made an apple crisp that wasn't pretty for my contribution to the boyfriend's family thanksgiving dinner (they were nice enough to have me so I wasn't all by my lonesome that day). I was told it was tasty but I won't be using that recipe again (note to self: granola for crumbles in apple crisp is better then concocting something out of flour and stuff, it can't turn to mush in the oven). Currently I am addicted to Gack (japanese singer) I would love to know what he is saying but the songs are awesome even if I have no idea what the words are. Yeah, I have random tastes in music. I'm also in need of a new piercing....batch of piercings? The current idea is belly button I saw this cute picture on BME that looked like a fan it was 4 pokes in total, it was so cute! Also saw this pretty sweet combo of rings and a door knocker ring attached to the 3 other rings it was cool (I know bad description). Yeah I like piercings and tattoos and will at a later date be discussing a last hurrah/testing myself to the limits and beyond piercing.....much later, in about 5 months (I'm totally stoked and out of my flipping mind, only me would be excited about causing myself a fairly large amount of pain as a woohooo I got out of college and then go party some(anyone say masochist?).
I have 1 tattoo already a scorpion on my left hip a tribute to my leanings towards the Egyptian pantheons and a tribute to a specific Goddess who I have been very remiss in paying attention to (remember that stuff I talked about before, research and paying attention to those you want to worship?) yeah, the tattoo was before I thought about that. The tattoo is supposed to represent Selket a Goddess in the form of a scorpion who protects women (says something about my state of mind at the time huh? Not that I really needed protecting from anything) She was also an excuse to get a tattoo which I wanted badly, not that I regret it mind you, I love my tattoo.
I have 4 piercings all of which are unimpressive but a tribute in itself to my stubbornness (believe it or not I can be stubborn), my piercings take twice as long to heal and always get infected (my body won't bat an eye at scratches by rabbits and dogs and even cats (as long as they aren't barn cats(though technically the incident I reference was a puncture of my finger by barn cat claw...never pretty) but a puncture is a totally different story). They are in my ears. The thing is that before my first batch of piercings in my lobe took I had them pierced 2 or 3 times before. Each time they got problematic in some way and had to be taken out (I was also alot younger then, kiddie aged). By the time the first batch actually got to stay in I was in High school and had gotten them just cause I loved how piercings looked and was going to get it done right this time gosh darn it! (not with a gun, I won't go on the piercing rant I promise). A girls ears being pierced is a bit of a coming of age thing in a way (sometimes). Second batch (just behind the first batch) were gotten during the summer of my first year of college it was an I made it through my first year of college Go me! (same day I went to see wicked for the first time). I wanted to get something done to celebrate getting my first apt but I never did so one of (or all) the belly button pokes (if it is belly button I end up getting poked) will be for that (even if it is a year and a half late). I don't go and get my body poked with needles willy nilly the tattoos have to mean something and the piercings signify something important that happened in my life. I want my skin to be a roadmap of what I have done in my life, a way for me to remember all the firsts and major ending in my life.....(if thats the case I'm way behind...I just realized). I love the way piercings look and I won't fault a person for getting poked (pierced or tattooed) just cause, but me, something that causes pain and takes so long to heal has to mean something. Yeah, I have this big love affair with symbolism what can I say (grade school english teachers, I finally got it).

the absent minded domestic goddess

2008-11-23T21:32:00.002-05:00

So I made that pie I was talking about, even made the crust myself (I was so proud it came out beautifully). The pie itself left some things to be desired. It might hae tasted better if I had remembered to put in the coconut milk. I got all wrapped up in the mashing the potato and mixing it with the other ingredients that I completely forgot until I put the pie in the oven to bake, by then it was too late. All in all it was a good first pie making experience.

cooking in the Co-op

2008-11-21T22:16:00.002-05:00

Here is the account of my last cooking shift for this semester. A friend of mine from high school came to visit me for a little bit and ended up helping the cooking shift which was cool. There was so much food left over from the co-op thanksgiving that I had no idea what to make or use for lunch and she just popped in with a great idea. Pasta with mushrooms, tomatoes (from the "turkey" meal), and wilted spinach mixed in. It was tasty. I was so happy to see her, not gonna lie. In the end the shift made 2 soups (one reheated from the "turkey" meal with a few additions and the other made for that day) our pasta thing, chocolate chip cookies, and some cauliflower thing that I wasn't hungry enough to eat because I ate a late breakfast. All in all a good last shift. Here's to hoping if I get another cooking shift that its as awesome as this one.

Plant Post!

2008-11-20T14:00:00.003-05:00

I have a thing for pretty/different plants. I was admireing a plant last time we were down in florida called a croton. Its a pretty cool plant. The leaves are multiple colors and the colors will become more varible on each leaf the more the plant is in a place where the sun intensity changes alot. Sadly it is poisonous to kitty life so it needs to be kept out of reach of cats (which is just about impossible). I have seen some of these plants get quite tall.

Cause this is a short ass post I'm going to talk about something else. I get to repot and wake up my amarylises....amaryli (i have no idea what the plural is but there are 2 of them). I'm excited cause they are pretty *crosses fingers that I can get them to flower this year.

Every religion has thier religious holidays

2008-11-19T10:21:00.007-05:00

And ours seem to overlap so often with Chistianity....hmm, I wonder why?

So there are 8 Holidays Samhain (halloween), Yule/Winter Solstice (Christmas), Imbolc (groundhogs day way back when), Ostara, (same thing as easter), Beltane, Summer Solstice, Lughnasadh, and Mabon. Each one corresponding to a certain time of year. Obviously the solsices are easy, then there is the autumnal and spring equinoxes at Mabon and Ostara, Beltain is a yay its spring/fertility day (yeah you have the right idea, you do not want to know the symbolism of the may pole). Lughnasadh is a harvest festival (there are a few but this one was the begining of the harvest). Samhain is the begining of winter (the dark time) as well as the pagan new year....why that is the new year it never made sense to me would make more sense to have a Imbolc as new year beacause its after the dark time. Imbolc is the time when the days are begining to be noticeably longer and that makes everyone happy up here in Ohio.

Many of these are celtic holidays originally and depending on ones pagan tradition you may celebrate more or not, or not even celebrate these...like I said its whatever floats your boat. One thing that I read that Dianne Sylvan wrote smacked me upside the head and I will share it. She talked about how if you live in the Southern hemisphere your seasons are different so don't celebrate Yule on the summer solstice, celebrate things the way the seasons in your area are (I had a holy crap I wonder how many people are celebrating Yule on the Summer Solstice moment). It makes a whole heap of sense but this is what we get for being so used to our religions be so rigid and strict, we read something and automatically think it cannot be changed even if it doesn't make sense. Later I will be reading up about Samhain and see if I can't change my own personal tradition so the new year is somthing more sensible (at least to me).

Wind Power

2008-11-18T10:25:00.002-05:00

Its a pretty sweet idea this wind power. Harnessing the wind itself for our use, we have been doing it for years in smaller form with sails and kites and even hot air balloons. Sadly there are a few problems with using it to make electricity still. Problems like whole flocks of birds flying into the windmills and getting chopped it itty bitty bits.....yeah its a bit of a problem. There are so many endangered species of birds that setting up wind farms is a little bit of a concern. Now don't get me wrong wind farms are flipping genious but we need to figure out another way, or at least a way to make the birds fly around the wind farms, not through them. Even trying to minimize damage would be a good thing, like if we didn't build wind farms in the areas where a lot of different speices migrate through, but I have a feeling that there is a reason they migrate through that area, could be that the wind patterns there are pretty awesome and make them do less work? I don't know much on that I will admit. But if it is the reason that would be a great area to put up windfarms....oh darn we did it again, still in the way. We need big signs that say birds no trespassing you'll get chopped to bits.

Its stuck

2008-11-17T10:29:00.003-05:00

Well, there is snow on the ground and it has been there since yesterday. It was snowing yesterday and last night. It may be melting. Now, I hate cold but the snow on all the trees was rather pretty. I am doing my best not to run screaming from the room when I see the white stuff, it is just a season of the year and it will pass just as each winter has passed ever since I have been alive. I will just keep telling myself that and wrap the blanket tighter about my shoulders and wait...just like those in the wild (except some of them get to hibernate). It is a time for introspection, self realizment, a bowl of soup (there is a rumor of potato soup for lunch I'm excited), a book, and a nice fire in the fire place (even though burning actual logs is worse for the environment then those fire starting "logs" go figure). It is a time to stay close to home and be with the community (we really are sort of a bizzare hive species that elects the "queen" instead of however its done with bees and ants or the borg.....yeah trekkie moment) and learn how to tolerate the family after being able to run about and do your own thing for much of the year, at least thats how it used to be. We still do the hunkering down with blankets and books but less with the community and family stuff.

Throws open the door I'm baaack!!!

2008-11-15T09:25:00.005-05:00

I know I have said it before but there is something to waking up early, its Gods aweful and painful to do but once I get outside walking to campus its all calm serenity...even in the rain. There was a light rain coupled with mist all over campus and it was beautiful it makes things easier when its beautiful out. I am still horribly busy but life has calmed to its normal pace again, but in the time that life has been a tad too interesting for my own good (having people stay over for the weekend plus a few days unexpectedly, taking that person to the ER, mother getting bitchy cause I didn't go with her decision, mad dash study/paper writing combo for the same class) I have seen some really amazing things. Yesterday my birdfeeder fell off its precarious holding place and broke (crap ass piece of shit) full of this seed that no bird would eat (count on it because I bought a huge bag of it) by the afternoon the pile of seed that had fallen from the feeder was gone and there was a chipmunk with full cheekpouches reaching its little arms and head into the feeder for more seeds. At least someone likes it. The day before that I saw the biggest flock of birds I have ever seen in my life in the "woods" behind my apt. There were so many that all thier chirpings melded into white noise and it was LOUD. A fellow classmate of mine said they were probably starlings (which sadly are an invasive species but it was impressive all the same).
I also had a good looong talk with a friend of mine who always has the best advice and thoughts to give on matters that stress me out. Thankfully he lives close by...for now, he moves around alot, I'll be sad when he moves too far away to visit. He told me to not be afraid of the changes going on around me, don't hide from them (there is a reason we cancers make shells, we like to hide in them). Instead take charge of them, make the changes I want (something that will be very hard for me to do, I am not one to be the person controlling things, in fact I prefer to be the one being controlled). Choices that aren't what will I wear, or eat, or do, or where will I go today worry me in fact sometimes they downright scare me, but we can talk about my sub-y tendencies some other day. He also reminded me that no matter what changes in my life, my friends, where ever I go (or they go) they will always be my friends....somehow yeah, I needed that reminder...go figure. Its part of the unique-ness that is me that when I get upset the mean voice in my head convinces me I'm all alone and will be if I venture outside my current little box *cough cough* school *cough*. Its nice to be reminded that there are people out there who will always care, we all need that reminder sometimes. Oh yes, and I'm also supposed to remember to take breaks and not wear myself out with school and have fun now and then (I'll try, someone might have to remind me now and then).
I'm not sure my body likes nettle tea....I started drinking it this morning cause last time it made my brain super awake and I thought that would be good during the exam but the moment it started into my system, digesting with my breakfast I started getting a headache and last time I used it that evening I had the most blistering headache that made me not even want to go visit my boy I felt like such shit. Even now I can feel the pain just behind the left side of my forehead. I may not drink anymore....we shall see.
I am contemplating making sweet potato pie for Thanksgiving....well...more of a just because and not exactly for Thanksgiving. I'm not exactly all about this holiday and I love sweet potato pie and I want some and its the season for it and I have never made a pie and I feel like maybe its time that I should get rid of my pie making virginity so the other tab-y on this browser is sweet potato pie recipes but I don't know how to choose one. One exam down.....2 more to go but not for about a week. Oh yes, me and the new roomate are getting along well and she brought a tv for watching movies!!!
one more thing. I am totally stoked about this new e-book that Dianne Sylvan put out. See column at right blog name Dancing Down The Moon.

Oh the Chaos

2008-11-10T08:28:00.001-05:00

I will probably not get to actual writing of ideas till maybe thursday....maybe later things are so crazy around here right now that I don't even know where to start unraveling the knot.

new beginings and the chaos they bring

2008-11-06T22:43:00.003-05:00

This time of year is generally rather hectic for me. Exams and Advising meetings to discuss what classes I should take next semester. My last time having to do this, THANK GOD. But an added crazyness has come, I am welcoming a new roomate into my apt so bills won't be so bad on my bank account. Ironically I may be paying more in the end because I use so little gas and electricity by myself. $6 electric bill this month. But because of all the running about I have not posted this week (that and getting sick) and probably will not post until next week when things calm down....I hope.

An odd display of balance in the world

2008-11-03T21:51:00.002-05:00

Near my apt there is this real fancy nice house with a fenced in yard that is perfectly manicured, you poke a code into a thingy and the fence door for the car to get in opens and has 3 yappy pomeranians with a Mccain Palin sign (the dogs aren't carrying the sign). Across the rode is this small property that I swear the whole property that isn't the house is garden...sort of (not flowers everywhere but still somehow screams I am a garden even if I am trying to eat the house). The greenery is just taking over its beautiful. It has a walkway to the back that is covered in greenery and the front door is half obscured by a bush I am not exactly sure how the lady gets out of her house or gets company, it's exactly how I would picture an elf house (Lord of rings or Dianne Sylvan elves not Santa elves). I think it is so interesting how on one side of the street we have rich republican lady and on the other the almost elf house. Complete amd total oposites of eachother. The lady in the elf house does keep an eye on the wildlife that ends up in the rich republican's yard though, in fact she keeps an eye on all the wildlife, espeically the squirrels. Around here she is called the squirrel lady (probably behind her back) but she is lovely and I have talked to her a bit now and then. She always says good morning to me (even when I am trudging to campus for class at 8 am on a Saturday). It fasinates me how this balancing effect happened. I would really like to know who came first.

Pretend it is still friday

2008-11-01T10:43:00.006-04:00

This might be a tad long....lots of stuff is going on
My good friend from Living Like a Goddess (LLG from now on) came to visit and helped my cooking shift cook yesterday. It was awesome despite the mad ass lack of vegan food. I said screw it I'm hungry and ate lunch anyway. I made a fruit salad that was pretty damn summery for October 31st. Watermelon, black berrys, and pineapple with the leafy part of the pineapple as garnish for the big bowl of fruit. My friend made garlic bread which thankfully was vegan because she used the old co-op way of making it (bread+olive oil on bread+chopped up garlic rubbed into oily bread=tasty tasty garlic bread) . There was soup, and pudding from scratch, and rice and beans. It was fun.

My friend from LLG also got me some nettle to try for myself and I must say....WHOA. I don't think I have ever payed attention in a class i don't really like so hard in my life. It's just crazy. I am in this horrible state between super awake and dear Gods I want to sleep so I keep feeling the need to stretch because I still feel like I just got out of bed (blame going to bed at a normal time and waking up earlier then I normally do for the tiredness), but it is pretty damn impressive. This is definitely not something I want to drink after say....dinner time. This is the first time drinking it so we will see how things go after this, I have an ounce to play with. So I will probably talk about this again at some point to update everyone. I am definitely keeping some around to help me during exams. I wonder if this would be good for those who have ADD. I don't know about how ADD really works brain chemistry wise and how this would affect them but I know it is less expensive then the drugs they have to buy for the rest of time. May be an alternative...who knows.

Yesterday was also Samhain. Me and my friend from LLG had a dumb dinner in the co-op which was a tad akward because we were worried someone would come in and try to talk to us who were supposed to remain silent for the meal so we could think/remember dead loved ones (or people you knew). It was interesting because I thought about people I hadn't thought about in years and a few I hardly knew at all but whos death changed things so completely around me that I couldn't help but think on them anyway. It was nice though because originally I thought I was going to have to be at my parents house that night and wouldn't have been comfortable with them being there/part of it(for reasons discussed earlier this month). Next year there will have to be vegan food in the dinner (we just ate what was in the fridge) so we can toss it outside or compost food on the plate for the dead ones because you leave a seat empty and plate (with food) at that seat for the dead. We felt bad about wasting it but...we know better for next year. It was interesting eating food, one of the most basic things of life while focusing on the dead. In a way eating for the dead. To those who are gone: Grandpa, Cousin Jim (the first gay man I ever knew and didn't realize it until he was dead but I should have known when he smelled all the lotions at Bath and Body Works), Aunt Marie (even if I can't remember what you looked like), My first riding instructor's dad (even if he did scare the crap out of me jokeing about cutting my hair...I was really young), Grace and Andy (the hall my dorm was on was so much quieter after you died that I never really got used to it). You might be gone, but not forgotten....hope you liked the milk/soymilk mixture we poured outside for you.
Oh yeah. Happy Dia de los muertos.

Plant Post!!

2008-10-30T10:49:00.003-04:00

This is gonna be short because I'm behind in my daily routine and need to get studying. I have a primrose that when I bought it only had one plant in the pot. This summer while my mother was mostly taking care of the plant children along with her plant children (until I found my primrose drowning in water, there was literally standing water then I started keeping an eye on things) it sprouted a new plant! So now there are two. Which was a bit exciting because I looked down into it and there were alot of leaves, a heck of alot more then I could ever get to grow on it (but then again I was bad at watering it because it likes water and if I forget to check it one day it will wilt into a pouty dying of thirst mass of fragile leaves. Only to realize that it wasn't that there were lots of leaves on 1 plant it was because there were 2 plants. At some point I should take one of them out of the pot and repot it, but I probably won't until its root bound and screaming at me to give it more room and they are fighting with eachother and I hear from all the way downstairs "MOOOOOOMMMM he's touching me with his feet and won't stop!!!!". Its the same with the dumpster plant, the pot is so demolished that water just runs out of it but I am going to have to cut the pot off the plant and repot it....which I need help with and since there is almost no one at my place ever to help with such things it probably won't be done for awhile.....sorry guys.

How many Gods do you worship anyway?

2008-10-29T10:08:00.002-04:00

Answer: As many as I want to (same number as the number of angels that can dance on the head of a pin: as many as want to), but really they are all facets of the same God. She doesn't really have a gender (but we mere mortals cannot imagine such a thing). Wicca usually focuses generally on 2 Deitys a God and Goddess, but you can invoke, call on, ask for help, follow ect any of the pantheons you so choose, or not at all and just follow God and Goddess its whatever floats your boat. You can worship as many as you want or as few, you can focus only on the Goddess if you want (I think that's as bad as the patriarchal religions ignoring the feminine but as I said its what floats your boat). There is a debate going if you can work with different Gods from different pantheons at the same time, some say yes, some say no (of course those who say no are WAY against it). Me I say well, if they are all the same in the end why does it really matter anyway. If they are all the same then technically you could be Christian and pagan at the same time....mindfuck!!!! (hides from the pitchforks) But this is a debate for another time that I will address. The one thing I really don't like about the way Wiccans do thier thing is that if you look at what the God and Goddess are doing throughout all the festivals (looking at the whole cycle of the year) its this wierdo incestuous thing where the Goddess keeps bearing the God then in spring they are young and do what all young people do at some point (have sex) then he dies and is born again. So shes basically having sex with her son over and over and over. EW! I mean I get the idea behind it (all things spring from woman cause only we can create cause only we can pop out babies) but it never exactly worked for me. Which is why I say I am Pagan and not Wiccan, this way I have more leeway to hold my ritual the way I want and not think about wierdo incestuousness. That isn't to say the Gods don't come into it, cause trust me they do.
I am only going to say this once and in all caps so it sounds like I am yelling at you to remember this IF YOU WANT TO ASK A GOD/ESS FOR HELP FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY RESEARCH THEM BEFORE YOU DO IT. Learn how to properly honor them after/during/before they help you, learn thier stories, thier special days, thier animals maybe you could put a feather of thier bird on your altar they might like that. Don't just go around using thier names willy nilly in your ritual (i use this word to encompass all forms of prayer and spell work and special days). A name IS the thing. (yes i should curb my use of Jesus fucking Christ....I'm working on it, its an ongoing project). They hear when you say the name, its like when someone says your name in a crowded room suddenly you are all ears because you heard that person over there say YOUR name. Its a religion, there is some work involved.
Lately I have been wondering if I should be studying more of the Hindu pantheon seeing as how I keep dreaming about them (ok 2 dreams but thats still alot for me). We shall see maybe later I will post my dream I had this morning and I can get an opinion from....someone.

Wave power

2008-10-28T20:01:00.003-04:00

This is something I had never heard of before untill I read about it in a Scientific American email newsletter I got last month. It uses the waves made on an ocean to create electricity. Its a looong cylinder that has hinges. The movement of the hinges creates the electricity which is then sent by cable to a collection thing on the ocean floor then sent to shore by another cable. This is a pretty interesting idea if you ask me. However I do think the setting of the cables on the ocean floor might cause some unwanted disturbance because they would be very long, but I suppose it would depend on what flora and fauna was down there.

It snowed for all of 5 seconds today

2008-10-27T21:28:00.002-04:00

It is no wonder the way back when cultures all had a Sun God. I mean seriously without the sun there would be no Earth. Without sun there would be no light, no crops, no being warm ect. My area spent most of the day under rain clouds and its been chilly. But really, when the sun starts going down really early, way back when you couldn't do a whole lot but sit in your house and wait for spring to come. And when the days get longer and warmer and you can plant your seeds and not worry about starving and dying from the cold how can you not see a God in the sun? I had this realization earlier in the fall while walking back to my apartment and the sun was shinning just enough to make you feel all nice an toasty warm.

Fall realization

2008-10-26T16:13:00.003-04:00

You hear about so many people who get this get up and go urge during fall a sort of excitment and energy. Which I would always attribute to the genetic need to prepare for the winter. But then I realized that I never felt that energy until I realized that the feeling of excitement I associated with Halloween (as a kid) was in fact the very same feeling but because I had always had Halloween to look foreward to during this time I never realized it. Even when I lived in the dorms at school halloween was the time we passed out candy to all the little kiddies dressed up in constumes which was so much fun. It was something about the leaves dancing across the road caught in the wind that made it hit me the other day, suddenly I was just like HALLOWEEN!!! and then realized its not halloween that I was excited about, I was just excited.

Not cooking today, at the parents house as they have nothing for me to cook with

2008-10-24T10:25:00.004-04:00

I might make cookies....or one of the millions of bread mixes mother keeps around that she never uses if I feel up to the challenge (I've never made bread before). We shall see.

In leu of cooking I am going to gush about a tarot deck I want that is as yet unfinished.
http://www.gaiantarot.com/majors/index.html
http://www.gaiantarot.com/minors/index.html
the top is the major cards and second is the minor cards. The cards are fairly self explanatory which is one of the reasons I love them. Not to mention they are just freeking pretty. The fire cards on the minor page you can practically feel the energy of them. I can't wait till they are done. 8 more cards to go!

A confusing dream to be sure

2008-10-23T11:14:00.003-04:00

I had a bizzare dream last night. Lately I've been dreaming alot and they are usually a bit random but the thing is I have been remember them, or at least pieces of them when I wake up wich is wierd because I rarely do. Today I woke up with this dream.

I was packing my rabbits into a bookbag each had its own plastic bag that I packed it in (they were alive). There was also a hairless rat. When I pulled out the rat from by book bag when we got where ever it was we were going (looked like a zoo cage) the plastic bag had been flattened and there was no air in it. I quickly opened it and pulled the rat out. He was a little worse for wear but ok. I put him in his cage only to realize that a door to another cage was open that connected the two and he ran through it. I put him back and closed the door. He started fighting through the cage door with something and when I tried to stop it I was then immediately across the room and there was a stool in front of me and a large black dog (pit bull I think)next to the stool it was growling at me, bearing its very white teeth and I yelled at her "KALI STOP IT" and went to smack her with a one of those green co-op spatulas (of all things) and just before i smacked her with it I thought maybe I shouldn't and stoped.

Ironically the name Kali means black one, its also a derivative of the word kala meaning time. In most of the statues and paintings of Kali she is shown with a black (blue) body wearing a necklace of skulls, and a skirt of human arms. She is shown with essentially fangs that are very white showing her inner purity (because she is covered in blood), her tongue is stuck out, she has 4 arms one holding a head, one holding a sword, and the other two making blessing motions to her followers. (are we seeing a pattern here?) Now I am no good at interpreting dreams, I had a book once but I decided it was a load of shit and threw it out, but there is something to dreams, that much I do know. And there is definitely something to this dream but I have no idea what. Kali has always scared me a bit she is one of the mother Goddesses but she is also a Goddess of distruction and rebirth. Some view her as a Goddess of Chaos. I copied this from a website, I'm not sure how accurate it is but from what I know already I belive it to be quite accurate
"Kali's boon is won when man confronts or accepts her and the realities she dramatically conveys to him. The image of Kali, in a variety of ways, teaches man that pain, sorrow, decay, death, and destruction are not to be overcome or conquered by denying them or explaining them away. Pain and sorrow are woven into the texture of man's life so thoroughly that to deny them is ultimately futile. For man to realize the fullness of his being, for man to exploit his potential as a human being, he must finally accept this dimension of existence. Kali's boon is freedom, the freedom of the child to revel in the moment, and it is won only after confrontation or acceptance of death. To ignore death, to pretend that one is physically immortal, to pretend that one's ego is the center of things, is to provoke Kali's mocking laughter. To confront or accept death, on the contrary, is to realize a mode of being that can delight and revel in the play of the gods. To accept one's mortality is to be able to let go, to be able to sing, dance, and shout. Kali is Mother to her devotees not because she protects them from the way things really are but because she reveals to them their mortality and thus releases them to act fully and freely, releases them from the incredible, binding web of "adult" pretense, practicality, and rationality."
Got it from here http://www.exoticindiaart.com/kali.htm
So yeah, ummm no thanks, really I don't want to deal with that amount of stress. Dark Goddesses tend to teach lessons the hardest way possible (maybe so you don't forget them...ever) and I just don't want to deal with that, but that doesn't mean they won't teach me anyway.

Plant Post!!!

2008-10-23T10:13:00.003-04:00

ok, lets see here, who haven't I talked about.... Oh yes! My african Violet. It was a random gift from my mom. Its a tropical plant that is still chilling at my parents house because my apt has no insulation at all, on my life, its really frustrating. I took a peek at it last night when I came home and it has lots and lots of flowers on it, I'm not sure I have ever seen it with so many. they are pink and have a wierd slighly shiny-ness when sunlight hits them its real pretty. African violets are an interesting flower because anyone can keep one alive (its super freeking easy just water from the bottom and put in a fairly sunny warmish place) but its really freeking hard to grow them from seed. I tried earlier in the year with some seed pods one of my mom's african violets made and all i grew was a little bit of fuzz on the soil (too moist waaaay to moist). I'll know for next time. Apparently my mom tried growing them from seed too when she was lots younger and she got them to sprout and then at a certain stage you are supposed to put them in bitty pots and they all died, go figure. But I think I'm going to try again with the growing from seed because there are a few more pods coming up.

As an aside, yellowing, crisping leaves on a tomato plant does in fact mean magnesium deficiency (you were right on the nose good job!) a way to fix it is by putting epsom salt in the soil. I just mixed it with water and watered the plants, so we shall see how that goes.

Puppy chow is a co-op staple (thank God someone made some)

2008-10-22T10:13:00.003-04:00

Today I think I will talk about spell work. It is how alot of people get drawn to paganism, well kids anyway. There are lots and lots and lots of names for a person who is pagan. Witch, pagan, all the different names of the paths that fall under the all encompassing umbrella term pagan. There are alot. But I think most youngins are drawn to witch. The first idea you get is green faced halloween witch, then maybe Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Charmed, Bewitched (loved that show but the movie was crap), The craft (had the right idea and then totally fucked it up) and I can never forget Practical Magic which is the best witch movie on the face of the planet and closest to accurate that I have seen. People love the idea of being able to change things and influence the future to thier own benefit, its human nature. The problem is that it doesn't work like in the movies and tv shows you can't just point and shoot and is a magic noise and something happens. I realize that it has to be that way for tv. Sully Erna from Godsmack described a spell as a prayer. And yes it is....but then it is not. I think spells are more then that. When you pray you ask whatever Divinity you believe in to help you with this, make this not true, just to say hi, whatever you want. But a spell is far more intricate and can have much more interesting consequenses (karma anyone?) if you don't think it through fully and or word it properly. (which is why I don't do them) When doing spell work you send your energy that you have bound with a specific purpose out into the universe to work your will, prayers you don't really do that (not on purpose anyway). Spells are a last resort to you doing the footwork yourself but a kid just finding, usually Wicca, are all over that spell shit before they know anything about anything. Doing half assed, un-thought out, damn the consequenses to anyone else spells. But they learn, as I did when to cast and when not to(oh dear, just used a practical magic word). Later they realize there is far more to it....or at least hopefully think harder about doing them and why they are doing it. At that point of realizeing there is more to it they either say fuck this and walk away, learn all they can about the rest of it, or just ignore the religion part of it and be just a witch. (Incedentally male witches are not warlocks, you say they are and I'll beat you over the head. They are witches like everyone else. Warlock is an old English term (I think) for an oath breaker) One should think carefully about the intent of a spell and make sure it doesn't hurt anyone or mess with thier free will (ie make this person fall in love with me spells. BAD) Of course some don't care about that and they are just doing spells cause they are greedy bastards, but I digress. So yes, spells are a last resort and should be thought out very carefully and not done willy nilly and for things like bringing the Northern Lights....as pretty as they are.

Economics and the Environment Somehow it just works

2008-10-21T10:23:00.002-04:00

Ok, so the idea behind it is thus: Look at things like conservation and poluting from an economic standpoint and find that point where cost equals benefits, where you can maximize the use of money for the greatest effect. In my previous tuesday post the water conservation rant I said that this free market shit wasn't working. But what else is there? Answer: a limited market. A market where everything is owned by someone (not the same someone cause that would be a monopoly), and that person (and only that person) accrues all costs and benefits of that property (means no externalities (difinition:the welfare of an agent either a firm or household depends on the activities of another agent) which is a good thing), (I'm actually pulling out the Econ book to look up the property right structures as they should actually work) property should be transferable from one owner to another in voluntary exchanges (which it is as far as I know), and property should be secure from involuntary seizure or encroachment upon by others (this may not include when you get way into debt and they take some of your stuff to pay for that). Sadly our system does't work that way. If water was owned by the Government and parceled out to people and if the people go over that then they get charged a hefty fine that would be better then this willy nilly use that we have now. Yes people are trying to figure shit out but its a little late for that now, we are already heading up shit creek. But I guess every bit helps. And for pete's sake YOUR LAWN DOESN'T HAVE TO BE GREEN and this goes for everyone! Anyway, we need a better marketing system for some things, mostly I think we need to make all the companies pay for the externalities they are forcing upon us because it's cheaper to do so for them, I think that would help a whole heck of alot. Everyone needs to think of greater good of society not just the greater good of Me which will almost always be against the greater good of society. I'm not saying don't eat and bathe and all that just use as little as possible. Eat locally when you can (I know in the middle of winter in some places that is hard). Support the local economy by buying things from little shops and local artisans. Yes buying anything can support the local economy because the workers get paid but supporting local stuff cuts out that big corporation middle man and they get more of the profit. That being said everyone should check out www.etsy.com because its all hand made stuffs and you can find people in your area who are selling things. Supporting the local economy is a good thing.

A little herbal lore

2008-10-20T21:24:00.005-04:00

So I read this monthly newsletter from this awesome lady Susun Weed and about a month ago one of the articles was about a very, very common plant that has some pretty sweet properties. Reduces swelling (which I tested), pain (also tested), relieves itchies from bug bites, poison ivy, stings (insect and otherwise), and a few others that I don't remember. I remember my friend from Living Like a Goddess mentioning this plant to me but it never sank in. I got a sliver while I was working at the barn sunday and when I got home I removed it the wrong way. Squeezing and poking at the flesh till it came out. I woke up this morning with a big red ouchiness where the sliver had been the night before. So as a second experiment I found some common plaintain (not the banana looking fruit) and picked a leaf, washed it and chewed it up good (didn't have the most pleasant taste in the world) put the chewed up mass on my ouchiness, spat the rest out, put a bandaid over it and in seconds there was no pain (not even kidding). After about 5 hours I took off the bandaid and spit poultice (the technical term for what I did) and tossed the plantain outside and the bandaid in the garbage and there was no swelling or redness. there was a large green stain but what does one expect from putting chewed up plant on ones skin? Currently the wound (if you can call it that) is slightly tender to the touch which is pretty cool because this morning it hurt without being touched.
These are Common Plantain

There are a number of species but this one as the name suggests is the most common
This is Buckhorn Plantain which I also see alot around here

I am going to copy a description from Botanical.com on common plaintain. Here it is.

"It grows from a very short rhizome, which bears below a great number of long, straight, yellowish roots, and above, a large, radial rosette of leaves and a few Iong, slender, densely-flowered spikes. The leaves are ovate, blunt, abruptly contracted at the base into a long, broad, channelled footstalk (petiole). The blade is 4 to 10 inches long and about two-thirds as broad, usually smooth, thickish, five to eleven ribbed, the ribs having a strongly fibrous structure, the margin entire, or coarsely and unevenly toothed. The flower-spikes, erect, on long stalks, are as long as the leaves, 1/4 to 1/3 inch thick and usually blunt. The flowers are somewhat purplish-green, the calyx fourparted, the small corolla bell-shaped and four-lobed, the stamens four, with purple anthers. The fruit is a two-celled capsule, not enclosed in the perianth, and containing four to sixteen seeds. the leaves are saline, bitterish and acrid to the taste; the root is saline and sweetish"

and here is the url for the website I got that from if you want to read more
http://www.botanical.com/botanical/mgmh/p/placom43.html

Plant post tomato update

2008-10-18T13:49:00.002-04:00

one of the tomato plants had its first cat mauling. Hardly any soil fell out even though I found it on its side on the floor (fell from bottom rib height) because it is madly root bound already which is just nuts. I mean tomato plants are freeking crazy, you can burry half the stem in soil and it will sprout roots over the whole burried stem. The other tomato plant has roots coming out of the pot through the drain holes which are turning green and trying to sprout leaves (which I am strongly discouraging by not letting that side of the pot have light). I mean whoa I didn't realize they could do that. It's pretty damn cool in a my tomato plant is going to take over its pot sort of way.

Cooking in the Co-op

2008-10-17T22:28:00.004-04:00

This is the second time I've had to write this. Darn internet errors.

Today's lunch was good if I do say so myself and I was quite excited about it. We had tomato soup which ended up having basil, mushrooms (which I am actually starting to tolerate), mashed potato (she said to thicken but I'm not sure it worked), celery, and spicy spices (it was quite spicy). We also had grilled cheese and my fellow cook made me a grilled spinach and tomato sandwich just because which was nice. We had salad and we took this rasperry mushy-ness that she of the long coppery hair who cooks like the Goddess herself made on an earlier shift and mixed it with some other stuff and made fried rasperry mush pancake.....thingys (that is the technical name). They were sooooo good. Ok, well it's near bedtime for me cause I have class and all tomorrow. Night night.

Oh yeah almost forgot another letter to the Gods

Dear mom n dad
Thanks a billion bajillion million zillion times for that kitten actually having an owner even if it was who I thought it was.....still don't agree with letting a baby roam about but she was all worried about him and so happy to have him back (apparently he comes home every night).
Lotsa love
Me

Oh man.....

2008-10-16T09:35:00.002-04:00

first off a letter to the Gods
Dear mom n dad
please, please please I can't keep the kitty that found me. Please if it has an owner let it make itself known. Pischa and Avi arent happy about the little tom in our apt and want him to go away and leave them alone (he won't stop trying to play with them). And if it is a certain someones cat they are the most iresponsible owners ever and then I don't want them to have him back, letting a baby run around outside, unfixed, getting fleas, with coyotes is stupid and I want to slap them really really really hard.
Your bleeding heart love animals to death save them all from cruel fates who wont turn into a hoarder daughter
Me

Plant post

I have 2 tomato plants I am trying to over winter for mom. They are mostly happy. With some yellowing leaves, I can't tell if that is because I am over watering or underwatering....I can never tell.

Sorry this is short I feel like I'm running around crazy. And can't sit still long enough to think.

Here it is from the begining

2008-10-15T10:10:00.004-04:00

I figured since this is the talk about pagan stuff day I would talk about how I became pagan and go from thier with my specific beliefs and so on and so forth (it will take up more then one post don't worry)

It started waaaay back when I was in grade school, 8th grade a friend of mine had been talking about a whitchcraft book she had found (let me tell you it was not a good one) so being curious I went online and did some reading and holy shit it was love at first sight. My Catholic upbringing had never felt right, at that age I couldn't put it into words it just didn't work for me. But reading what I did about Wicca was like coming home, lots of pagans say that but its true. I was reading and literally out loud said "thats it, thats what I want" the basic beliefs were already mine. So like every child who knows thier parents won't approve I snuck around and learned what I could while they weren't at home. In high school I found one of my really good friends (still friends with him) who I introduced to Wicca and we did alot of learning together. It made it more fun in a way because we would come to school and talk about what we had read or found, share things we printed out. Maybe it was the fact that I wasn't alone in it all. In the middle of High school we came out of the broom closet as it were to our friends gaining another to the group of pagan students. This is around when I bought my first book Idiots guide to wicca and witchcraft. Its silly now thinking about buying that book when really I should have gotten a Scott Cunningham or Gerald Gardner book but I didn't know enough to know that I didn't know anything. All three of us swapped the book between eachother reading and learning and such. We tried to do a spell to make the norther nights appear one Halloween, I'm not even sure if we were aware that it was Samhain that night. Exactly a year later (depending on who you ask it was our fault or someone else's) the northern lights were in our sky. It was amazing. Then we went to college still in the area but all of us too busy to really see eachother much. I stopped studying for a number of reasons (I was still Wiccan) my fellows weren't around to talk to about it, I had more class work then I could ever have imagined so everything just fell to the wayside until I was given this book (by one of my high school pagan friends) called the Circle Within (amazing book) written by Dianne Sylvan. It took me 2 years to read through the whole thing and remember what I read because I would read it in such short snippets. Then 2 summers ago I got back into contact with my first pagan friend who had a boyfriend who was also pagan (they are so cute together) I ended up hanging out alot at thier house (almost every night) and took up the learning again cause that boyfriend knows a hellova ton, by this time I had finnished reading The Circle Within. We (me and the boys) talked about making a coven....it never really got off the ground but it was a beautiful thing. The next school year came up and I moved into an apt with a friend of mine (the lady runs the Living Like a Goddess blog) and she expressed interest in paganism and then she and I and the boys (who I spent most of that summer with) would celebrate the special days (those of us who could come out). My roomate and I would do tarot readings together and damn were we good at it. Which leads me to here, blogging about stuff. Oh! almost forgot the most important thing, I came out of the broom closet to my family which started a whole new interesting-ness which I have already written about. Now and then I consider becoming a pagan....minister (whatever you want to call it). Who knows maybe I'll do it.

water conservation rant (and it is a rant)

2008-10-14T10:03:00.003-04:00

I am doing a project for class about water conservation. Its a good things people should do it. Take shorter showers, only shower when you are dirty, fill up a few cups of water for later use in the pets water bowl, drinking, watering plants while waiting for the water to heat up enough for a shower. For the love of all that is good and holy you desert states...STOP TRYING TO MAKE YOUR LAWNS GREEN YOU LIVE IN A FUCKING DESERT ITS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. The biggest problem is that water is super uber majorly by far the most important thing aside from air we have on this planet and you need it for just about everything so people get scared and want to do stupid things like truck water from the Great Lakes (bitches my water)to thier desert-y homes in the south west. I mean economically its stupid, we need to look at the societal greater good (ie whole flipping world) instead of just one area. And seriously this whole idea of water bottles (to quote Gorge Carlin) "Has the whole country become perpetually dehydrated?" Do you know how much water we would save if we didn't have water bottles in every store and gas station. I mean really, yeah I get it for a few things like going to work out and standing up in front of people to talk but thats why we have nalgene and Sigg and all those other companies that make bottles you can wash (but make sure you get the kind that doesn't release bad shit into your body). Fill up your own damn bottle and don't buy them from the store besides tap water has been proven to be cleaner. But I digress. Somethings that all farms and cities (because really where is the vegetation the water feeds in a city) should be looking into is taking the water that falls onto the roofs of buildings cleaning it (it is running off roofs and picking up bird poo and such) and storing it, even if you send it to the water treatment plants with the rest of the water that goes down drains that is a bunch of water that could be turned into potable (drinkable) water. There is a winery around here that gets all its water to water the grape vines (that isn't rain) from this kind of process (they don't have to clean it). That is just really awesome and allows you to pull less from ground water. This is a really important thing for me because I drive by a resevoir everytime I go to my parents house and its low I mean REALLY low, it scares and saddens me every time I see it because this resevoir is beautiful and there are spots you can walk across the lake now, WALK ACROSS A LAKE!!!! The thing is no one, no one seems to give a shit, they want thier water for pools, hot tubs, taking 5 million showers with thier significant other in one day, making thier lawns green. Its the tragedy of the commons for the millionth time in human history except this time it will be the death of the whole planet. Yeah global warming is bad but this water problem we are starting to find out we have is worse, heck of a lot worse if you ask me. Now, I'm not saying I'm perfect here either but really saving water isn't hard it just takes a little thought maybe a bit of money (a good quality low flow toilet, low water use washer (dishes and clothes). My showers: half an hour if I'm washing my hair which happens once or twice a week 10-15 minutes if I don't. And ladies you don't have to shave ones legs with the shower on you don't need that much water. What needs to happen is that the government needs to regulate water use and I don't mean just put up rules for domestic areas. I mean water rules for everyone allowing a building to use only this much water per month and if they go over it they get to pay a hefty charge. Of course as Americans we get grumpy when government tells us what we can and cannot do, we like our freedoms. Freedoms are all well and good but certain things need to change because this free market shit isn't working for the whole world. (oh boy look at what I'm learning in environmental economics! it almost makes waking up at 8am on a saturday worth it....almost) We are going to end up fremen living on a desert planet except that we don't have spice to live off of (if you don't know the reference read Dune by Frank Herbert who is a god)

A bit of scary politics to darken the mood

2008-10-14T00:05:00.001-04:00

If this is true, we are in big trouble.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XgkeTanCGI

Community Garden

2008-10-13T10:38:00.004-04:00

I would love, love, love to be part of a community garden. There just isn't enough community these days. People hardly know thier neighbors. Its all interent and IM and text messaging, yes I use those too (obviously) but I think it would be so cool to start/be a part of one. Plant veggies and what have you, enough for all the people who would be working it. Yeah it would be a biiig project and probably take up a good half acre or so....maybe i don't actually know how big it would have to be. And it wouldn't be good for just the adults to get out and be with thier neighbors working the garden, it would be a great way to teach kids about plants and make them be outside. In my fantasy world this garden would be organic and would probably get the end product from the vermiculture bins in my basement to make the plants all kinds of happy. And since we are leaving reality and running full force into my fantasy land lets also make it so that all the produce from the garden that the animals don't get (you will end up sharing whether you like it or not with the furry cousins) will be canned/preserved in some way in everyone's houses and when you need something you just call someone up and say "I need (insert veggie) I'll be over in a few to get it" I really would like to see the feeling of community something like that would create. And we could have our own harvest-y parties. It would be mad fun. There would be all sorts of heirloom plants, not stuff that looked pretty but actually tasted the way they should. None of those bizzare peach tasting apples, just straight up good for you, good tasting, maybe not the prettiest thing ever veggie. Not to mention because the garden grew it, it would taste better cause the community planted it with thier own hands and you would know where the produce came from and when it was picked and that it wasn't doused with funny chemicals ect. I would love it!

no cooking today

2008-10-10T12:24:00.003-04:00

I'm not cooking in the co op today because I am at my parents house watching my sibling, and because I don't have class on fridays I decided not to go in. I emailed people to ask to take my shift but no one bit...so I am probably getting written up *shrug* whatever. I could talk about what I made for dinner last night which was nothing at all special (leftover peas, leftover broccoli, can of beans, can of tomatoes with oregano, garlic and something seasonings all mixed together. And old baked apple and tater tots. Terribly inspiring I know) I thought I would talk about filial obligation instead today as more of a rant at myself for being a bad daughter, but I also just had an interesting thought reading Dianne sylvan's latest blog at dancing down the moon. So I think I will talk about both so if you don't mind this will be a rather long post.....sorry.

Ok so filial obligation. I find myself being rather hypocritcal and am rather mad at myself for it. Now I don't mean we have to bow down and say "yes honored parents you are right I should marry this dude I have never met in my life before and go to the shcool you want me to ect" HECK NO but, we as children of our parents do have certain obligations like helping out when they say "hey daughter come watch your sister so we can go to a funeral for someone on your father's side of the family all the way in New York" I should say sure! But did I? No, no I bitched and moaned and then did it while still bitching and moaning. Parents do deserve respect, even if we disagree with them. And grandparents Lord and Lady *burries face in hands* I'm going to have to call my mom's mom after this just so I am less of a hypocrite. She called last night and sibling and I pretended we weren't at home. I don't like this woman she is stuck in WW2 era and won't come out. If you aren't doing it her way then you are wrong and need to change, same way with my dad which is why he bugs me so much. I was told by the boy that I should stop being so passive around her and yell at her for telling me how I should act/dress/eat/religion (she doesn't know im pagan thinks I am a really really bad catholic/act towards my parents ect and that really is the mentality of the whole country. If an elder tells you something and you don't agree tell them to fuck the fuck off. But shes gramma....you can't say that shit to grandma! yknow??? You don't do that to grandparents, and really you shouldn't do it to parents either (though somehow it is an excepted thing to do). I mean yes, I do have my own stuff to do and I fall into a routine and get bent out of shape when the routine gets run over by something but I should have been more happy to help, even if I wanted to go to the funeral myself instead of keep an eye on sibling (who i mostly old enough to take care of herself)...which I did. Parents take care of you and make alot of sacrifices for you (look at it economically, yes in this country schooling isn't as expensive as some other places but food expenses, clothes, toys all money they could have spent on fun adult things/bettering thier lives with things they needed, they could have a crap ton more money if they didn't have a child) I'm not going to go into the whole crap about them wanting to bring you into the world because they wanted you and all cause as nice as that is...doesn't matter you can want a puppy and then when it gets older go oh shit, and take it to the pound (not that you should do that) but when we get older they go oh shit...what do we do with it now (refering to the baby they wanted). I'm not saying you have to buy them an amazing estate when you get a job and have money but parents and grandparents deserve to be taken care of and taken seriously and not ignored like annoying stray animals (I'm really going to have to call her now). So yeah, we need to respect our elders hellova lot more than we do and be nicer to them and help out without complaining about our busy schedule because they bent over backwards to take you to piano lessons, and sleep overs and all that.

Ok thought that was provoked by latest post from dancing down the moon. My summer was rather sucky, I had some stressful moments that led to panic attacks....though they weren't as bad as panic attacks as most people think of them but they were pretty completely not awesome and would leave me shaking and hyperventilating and my heart hammering in my chest and my brain a whirlwind in my skull. This happened most of the summer at least 1 time every week...maybe every 2 weeks and went into the school year (hey haven't had one this month!!!) until I settled back into the school routine. I had a particularly bad one last month though after I had a "party" and only my good friends from campus showed up and most didn't stay long, the next day after eveyone had left and it was night things got interesting and I ended up dredging up every single bad thing that happened that summer to a friend of mine over IM (he doesn't read this but I'll thank him anyway along with thanking a good friend of mine who is in oxford right now who also listened to me that night) Anyway so the thought provoked is as follows: This is my last year at school and I'm going to have to be all growed up by the end of the year and I think, this summer was the Gods reminding me that (or that I already am all growed up) by throwing a bunch of scary things at me (however most of the scary things are only in my head like finding a job, and apt and the like) at the time I lost pretty much all faith in the Gods and were convinced that they were mean spirited just wanted to fuck with me. Now I'm not saying the Gods don't make us trip and fall now and again but I don't really think its to sit there with all the other Gods and go "heeee watch this one HAHAHAHH did you see that shes sitting there at her computer crying her eyes out now. Oh I am so horrible! HEEEE." Usually its for our own good and to teach us to grow up, stop acting like a pretentious prick, remind us of something (oh yeah love those cosmic 2x4s), prepare us for something thats coming, or something like that. And I think that in a way I was super childish sitting there being all "the Gods are so mean *pouts*" During said mondo freakout online with guy friend who has the most beautiful faith in God I have ever seen in my life (I will talk about that sometime) he reminded me how devout of a pagan I used to be and maybe it was a test, and I think he was right but not necessarily right on the nail. He meant in a test of faith way where I don't think that is right. As a pagan you rarely hear the Gods testing your faith (thats more of a christian thing I think), that may happen while being tested but I feel like the tests are usually to show you where to clean up your life, what you can get rid of what you can't get rid of, where you have problems ect. Dianne sylvan writes when you decide to initiate yourself into something be ready for the ceiling to fall in on you (ok well thats the idea of it anyway) and I just realized june when it all started to suck guess what I did, I came out of the broom closet...esentially I went to the temple gates and screamed to the population around me that I was a follower of the Gods and I wasn't going to sneak in through the back door to worship anymore and they said "oh yeah? prove it." Maybe that is a test of faith......Every religion, school, culture has rites of passage maybe this was mine..... All I know is that my good friend was right about something, he told me it wouldn't get better until I started praying again essentially reaching out to them and saying I was ready to learn, better myself, not scream and pout and say its not fair you're too mean and grow the fuck up and learn to do things on my own (which I will have to be able to do being that I will be leaving school in may and turning into a grownup with a real job) which I am still working on but I'm getting there. The suckyness may have started a little before that time but I think I am right here, I think that it was rite of passage of sorts my last summer of "freedom" and boy oh boy there were some times I was rather free with myself. It was kind of funny though because at the end of the IM talk with my male friend he more or less ordered me to take a bath and relax which I didn't do in the end but proceeded to cry really hard on my bed and pray really hard (which he also told me to do) and I swear to you at the worst point of my tears (not kidding it was bad hyperventilating and coughing and feeling like i was going to puke i was crying so hard) I suddenly had this sense like I had my face burried in someone's lap, yeah I was curled up on my bed with my pillow folded all up under my head) but, it was like i was seeing it in my mind, me with my head on a womans lap and she just sitting there listening to my half gasping ramblings about how I couldn't do it. And I swear to you she smiled and said "of course you can" (hearing all this in my head mind you) and when I said there was no way she just kept up with the "you can do it, you have it in you" and we just talked and it was nuts and amazing and I was laying there with my head in my Goddess' flipping lap!!! Now I have had experiences where I've felt a loving, comforting presence but only when I am REALLY upset but never before have I felt like that. And I find as I explore my faith through this blog (things I haven't really written yet) I find I become more at peace with this horrible season called fall and seeing the beauty in it and I'm kind of excited to see what it brings about in the end.

Plant Post!!!

2008-10-09T14:03:00.003-04:00

Yay! I get to talk about my plants again!!! This week I think I will talk about my mini orange tree. Yes you read that right. I'm so excited because its grown a new branch from the base. when I first got it sent to me the little tree (it was an itty bitty thing and sparse as all hell) came out of the soil then veered off significantly in one direction and as it started filling out and growing more leaves I began to picture me having to prop it against a wall to make it stand upright cause its going to end up being about 5 feet tall (its still in its baby pot though the tree might be a bit taller than 7 or 8 inches from soil up). But finally near the veer off point it has grown another branch that will hopefully balance it out as it gets bigger so there won't be any falling over in the middle of the night like one of my amarylis plants did). the new branch is still this almost neon-y green color and the leaves feel so much more delicate than the other older leaves. Its so cute!!!! Right now its chilling at the parents house because it is a tropical plant and my apt is rather cold at night. As soon as I get all the insulating projects done I'm going to bring it back.

Blueberry's leaves are starting to change from that super pale/tan and pinkish to bright redish leaves its so pretty. Still don't know what to do with it once the leaves go away though.

And the Impatient dumpster plant is the most delicate breakable plant I have ever seen, every time I take it down to water, it comes down in a shower of leaves, stems, and petals. It also needs a pot transplant because the pot its in now is cracking and leaks water but I think I am going to need help with that cause its a rather big plant.

Samhain pronounced (sow-en)

2008-10-08T10:07:00.003-04:00

So next religious holiday is coming up the "witches new year" and I really want to do something for this one but the problem is A) I don't know what and B) I'll be at home cause I have to work....on halloween, not really looking foreward to it cause the barn is in a development and Lord and Lady know what ages are in this place and what they have planned...if anything. But yes, I think I'd like to do a dumb supper hahaha and actually do one this year. A dumb supper is where you make tasty foods and sit with the family/whoever you invite and set an extra place at the table with food and everything on it for those who have passed in your family (however you define family ie related to you, friends, ect). This dinner is held in silence (hense dumb) because you are supposed to be remembering these people and by thinking of them bring them to the table. Its a lovely idea if you ask me, and as of late there are a few people that need remembering plus one more (yeah you understood rightly someone else in my family just died...yesterday), two of which I did not get to attend the funeral as much as I would have liked to, but that is a rant for another time (won't be going to her funeral either). The problem is bringing up the subject and involving the family in said ritual (they being Catholic)....they look upon my pagan-ness with a sort of indulgence, though my mother did ask me what we did for Christmas and if my altar was to any spesific deity which is progress I suppose. And honestly, I've gotten so used to keeping them far, far away from my religious practices that I'm not even sure I would feel comfortable having them there being part of the ritual. (where are my we-almost-made-a-covenmates? We need to do something!!!)I could rant about my mother forcing me to go to church all day because shes being such a hypocrite its not funny. Saying how everyone has thier own path and for some it is some form of Christianity then forcing Catholisism down my throat. Someday I'll call her out on that. But I digress. This day is the day when we "realize" (not like we haven't been noticing it already we are supposed to be attuned to nature anyway) that the plants and such are going to sleep (here its probably already snowed at least once....well ok thats how it was when I was a kid and Global warming didn't exist). It is a day to remember those who have gone to the eternal sleep before us, a day when the veil between worlds is supposed to be thinnest (on this I have no knowlege). Other problem: Trick or treaters, in my family Halloween dinner was usually eaten very quickly so as to be ready for the kiddies/so me and my sibling could go out and trick or treat ourselves. Well....if nothing else I should decorate my altar But I have no idea how, on this I am very stuck. I don't have many fall like things to put on it and the cats will just rip up leaves if I bring them in. I could put things that remind me of those who have died but I don't have anything. There is a reason why I think about this stuff a month ahead of time, and this is it cause I have to be creative and use what little I have. I'll make do in the end.

If I had only known

2008-10-07T21:07:00.005-04:00

If I had realized the mountain justice talk was tonight I would have saved my recycling stuff for later. Oh well. So mountain justice is a good bunch of people doing great things to save the mountains and the people of Apalachia....someone is that spelled right??? Go here http://www.mountainjusticesummer.org/index.php they talk about thier stuff better than I can. Its really amazing to see how corporations are taking over our government though. Coal mining corporations basically run west virginia it sounds like. And another reason to hate Bush.... the US was this close to getting mountain top removal illegal and bush....the personable man that he is changes the definition of valley fill (the shit that happens to the rubble from blowing off tops of mountains....gets dumped in the valleys essentially filling them up which pollutes the stream that runs through it which causes us to pay for cleaning the water (externalities anyone!!!! which means I have found a use for my Econ class which makes it worth learning which is a good thing but that is for a different post). This close...... Its really sad to see because yeah west virginia has always mined coal but this way of doing it makes coal miners lose jobs and pollutes the environment. It has caused lots of deaths. From directly killing people to causing cancer. And I heard a scary statistic 13% of women east of the mississippi who have children will (not might) WILL have children with birth defects because of mountain top removal. And you see all these signs for coal all through West Virginia how it is the only option and the way they talk about it all the people in these towns have forgotten that they can do something, they just need to find how to make a living without coal as the mainstay of the economy which is killing them or driving them all from thier homes one by one and leaving the rest often poor as fuck. Economy working???? I think not!

Here's to the Long Haul is coming to campus!!!! 29th of this month I can't wait! http://www.myspace.com/herestothelonghaul go there, thats them.

Recycling.....Hell yeah!

2008-10-07T10:42:00.004-04:00

Ok well it took me a little while to decide what I wanted to talk about today. I literally have a list of things sitting here next to me in a notebook that spans most of a page (one side) that I just keep adding stuff to as I think of it. Then I remember I got this thing sent to me from Co-op America that I thought was way cool and I had to share so here it is. I'm pretty much going to type this straight off the thing I was sent.

10 things you didn't know you could recycle

Appliances: many stores will recycle your old appliance when you purchase a new one. Goodwill accepts working appliances. Go to http://www.goodwill.org/ or you can contact the steel recycling institute to recycle them at http://www.recycle-steel.org/

Athletic shoes: One world running will send still-wearable shoes to athletes in need in Africa, Latin America, and Haiti: http://www.oneworldrunning.com/ Nike's Reuse-a-shoe (wait Nike doing something good???) program turns old shoes into playground (which they have discovered lets off hellova lot more heat in the summer making it potentially dangerous to those youngins playing on it cause of dehydration) and athleticflooring http://www.nikereuseashoe.com/

Batteries (who knew!): contact http://www.batteryrecycling.com/

Clothes (obviously recyclable):wearable clothes can go to your local goodwill outlet or shelter. Donate wearable women's buisness clothing to the nonprofit Dress for Success which gives them to low-income women as they search for jobs http://www.dressforsuccess.org/ (hell of a good idea) Offer unwearable clothes to local animal bording and shelter facilities which often use them as pet bedding

Compact fluorescent bulbs (CFL): them them to your local IKEA store for recycling http://www.ikea.com/ you can also order a sylvania recyclepak www.sylvania.com/recycle/recyclepak

Computers and electronics: to find the most responsible recyclers go to www.ban.org/pledge/locations.html

foam packing peanuts: your local pack and ship store will likely accpet these for reuse. or call the plastic loose fill producers council (they have a council????) to find a drop off site 800-828-2214. for places to drop off foam bloxks for recycling contact the alliance of foam packaging recyclers (they have an alliance too?!!!!) 410-451-8340 www.epspackaging.org/info.html

Ink/toner cartriges: http://www.recycleplace.com/

Oil: find used motor oil hotlines for each state http://www.recycleoil.com/

Phones: collective good will refurbish your phone and sell it to someone in a developing country http://www.collectivegood.com/ call to protect reprograms cell phones to diall 911 and gives them to domestic violence victims http://www.donateaphone.com/

Sooo yeah I thought that was pretty damn cool and had been waiting for an opportunity to share the knowlege which you should do too.

Format change!!!

2008-10-06T10:49:00.003-04:00

Title is from an old radio comedy thing.....a radio station playing classical music then the boss comes in yells format change and puts on some Rock music

Ok I know I said thanfulness on Mondays but I'm changing that. Its good in theory but in practice it will be just too repetitive I feel. There are lots of things I am thankful for, most of them revolve around the co-op, friends, pets, warm (but not really) apt, bed, food, family...sometimes. Sooo yeah and besides I have something more interesting to talk about. Nature isn't all light and bunny farts (to paraphrase something Dianne Sylvan wrote) I tell you this because someone is going to be missing thier dog this morning. Last night as I left my apt to go clean the big fridge in the co-op there was this horrible noise, obviously a fight of some kind. There were 2 voices one wimpering pitifully which was obviously a dog and something....else. some dude said it was a coyote but...i dunno I would have said it sounded more cat like, but he's probably right coyotes are quite common around here. So the horrible growl/snarl/more cat then dog sound went on longer than the whimpering so one assumes puppy lost and is now coyote chow. Let me get my irrisponsible owner bit out of the way, Why in the hell you would let a small dog (coyotes usually go after the small dogs) out at 11 at night....i mean really by itself when you know there are carnivorous animals out???? but I also feel bad cause now no one will know where Fluffy McFlufferson went that night and why didn't fluffy come back. But anyway whats done is done, I hope they learn thier lesson. Everyone always thinks of nature as this beautiful wonderful awesomeness and yes it is that but its also big and dark and scary with loud growl/snarl/ more cat then dog sounds. I guess this is why we have persephone the typical maiden pretty as she can be who is also queen and consort of Hades. I was thinking about this dog and its cruel and horribly unprepared for fate (oh wow my theater class is really rubbing off on me) only to realize that cruelty is a human construct. In nature there is no cruelty....well ok not true exacty, we would view some of the things as cruel but in nature killing for food, killing offspring of the male you just killed so you could have his harem, killing a weak pack member, ect is all part of nature, survival of the fittest and all that. Cerebrally you know that and you see it on tv but then its always in those when nature attack shows and it seems like just a joke but to hear it is completely different and amazing and terrifying at the same time. Cause honestly I can never look at nature as a whole exactly the same way, I can even better understand why settlers went out and hunted all the predators out of an area cause hearing one is fucking scary as all hell. However this does not stop me from saying that wolves need to be reintroduced into places where they are now exctinct to control the deer population. It makes you understand why those old civilizations held nature with such respect. And the scariest part. has nothing to do with nature....well humans are mamal but are we really a part of nature...lets be honest. There is a guy down the row of apts who has a handgun and he was gonna go find the dog and shoot it. HE HAS A FUCKING GUN. Not a gun to go hunting with but a handgun. He literally said when asked with what gun by another dude "with my handgun" why the hell do you need a handgun in this area???? Now I know a few people who have guns and all of them I would trust with them (know only one person with a handgun and hes a cop so its a little different) but.....I don't like guns, I don't want a gun near me and yes it was a nice thought to go put the pup out of its misery but.....GUN!!!!!

Dumpster plant has been identified as an impatience....however thats spelled so its new name: the impatient dumpster plant which i firmly believe was a gift to me from the Gods.....even if it was owned by someone else and thrown away...they knew I'd find it. I had really wanted to expand my plant collection and there lo and behold sitting on the dumpster on its side still healthy as can be.....a plant. That makes it a gift in my eyes.

Indian summer tea smells like a hookah bar

2008-10-04T09:37:00.002-04:00

(it does trust me on this...its a good smell)
Ok so the econ exam is over....THANK THE GODS.
There is something to be said for waking up as the sun does, yeah its fucking cold cause my heat isn't on yet and yes its horribly early and I really don't like doing it but walking outside to the co-op for breakfast saying my morning prayer as I walked cause I had to hurry through the morning stuff today to ensure optimal eating time and so I could eat and not be late for class/eat during the exam. Anyway walking and saying my morning prayer, a few moments after I ended my prayer there was a burst of bird song. Not even kidding it was silent as I prayed then it started out 2 birds and as I walked towards campus I heard more not alot more but a chickadee and a blue jay and one of the crows that is always around and some bird I didn't know. (ooo there is a very unhappy jay outside right now) There was a sense of the world waking up, the sun not even over the buildings and trees yet. It made me feel better about things and being awake that early because it was COLD (example of how cold: last night the cats slept under the covers with me and were there for most of the night and one even left then came back later and nosed her way back to her sleeping spot somewhere between my hip and the middle of my ribcage) and I wasn't a happy camper cause I didn't sleep at all well, in fact the only reason I know I slept at all is cause one of the cats woke me up from a dream by walking on me 3 minutes before my alarm went off. I was in a long sleeve shirt, sweat shirt, armwarmer, and a coat (thanks nelly for leaving your coats yours are warmer then mine) and pants of course and shoes so I could walk to the co-op. But man it was COLD. But I do love sunrise. I am a firm believer that everything has a spirit (yes rocks and all) and whether that spirit is sentient, that can feel emotion or just an undefineable energy I feel excitement from all the things around me at dawn, its the same feeling I get when I stand quietly with my plants when they are getting direct sunlight. Maybe its just the feeling of the plant going "ooo sun! make food!!!!" or something a bit more emotional I don't know I would like to think that thier spirits can have emotion, after all its been proven plants do better when you talk to them so who knows. But I had a thought and its a thought that has been rolling about my head and it has been mentioned often in other circles humans are so obsessed with time even me note the use of optimal eating time earlier in the post. Nature wakes up when the sun rises and retires for the night (or at least hunkers down) when it goes down, humans have created this false schedule where we stay up till silly hours in the night and curse the dawn when it tries to poke into our eyelids and that little bit of us that is still animal says time to be up sun is up. If we actually lived as a part of nature we would be up with the birds and the rest of the natural populations instead of obsessing over our clocks and being in bed by midnight and up by 9, hours after the sun is up. Even my cats are running around my apt as soon as the sun is up, they have learned that I'm not getting up that early to feed them however so they just amuse themselves by running around, literally. Yes, I realize industrys and office buildings run on time and I understand the need for it so we can document how much we work so we can get payed so we can pay bills and eat and all that good shit but damn we have messed up our internal workings with this thing called time.

Cooking in the Co-op

2008-10-03T12:47:00.004-04:00

Ok, I have absofuckinglutely no energy so this is going to be a relatively short post. Econ is.....(to use something less crude then my original thought) is painful and I have been studying for about a week and a half for it nonstop (brain broke down last night in a fit of tears that started at the co-op and didn't end till about an hour later on the floor just inside my apt even then I probably didn't move for another half an hour) and despite the fact that I was in bed by 11 not sleeping but reading for fun (asleep by 12) because i was instructed to stop studying I am exhausted therefore my cooking ideas were nonexistent. I think I could use some of that nettle tea that my friend in Living Like a Goddess (see blog list at right) is trying out. So in the end I just helped make stuff....mostly I just cut up cucumbers for these pita triangle things that had cheese cucumber and tomato slices in them then they were stuck in the oven....some didn't have cheese so they were vegan so i could eat them. They were tastey. We also had kale and mushrooms and pita chips (that the cooking shift made) and humus and some cheezey potato curry thing.

Last week
I made Guacamole last week, which is exciting for me cause I've never made it before it turned out pretty well I think. The exciting thing was that there was no food in the co op. I mean end of the year we aren't buying anything else type empty and we came up with a kick ass meal. There was a super amazing soup that had many of the dried beans in the co op *cough* cody's lima beans *cough cough* and just everything....and there was something else but like I said brain doesn't work anymore so I can't remember what it was.

Love light and sunlight (its actually sunny today. sun = warmer than its been)

Plant Post!!!! My blueberry bush

2008-10-02T10:16:00.003-04:00

So I have a blueberry bush. Its a mini one that will stay in a pot...eventually a really BIIIG pot. When it gets older, right now its still a baby who is starting to get ready to take a loooong nap till spring. Its leaves are starting to turn the palest pink i have ever seen, so pale its almost a tan with light pink shading. Im not exactly sure what I should do with it while it sleeps, do i water it a little now and then? Stick it outside so it can get snowed on? I hope not its still young I'm not sure it would live through the snows, most of its branches aren't even woody yet. But yeah, I can't wait till it gets older and makes blueberries. It'll be exciting.

Dumpster plant update: has yet to be identified. I'm now taking bets on what it is. Winner doesn't actually win anything.

Description
flower: 5 petals bright fucking purple-y pink. Leaves: eye shaped (the part you can see when looking at a persons eye when they are open. whites, colored part and iris) veins are paralell to main stem that goes through leaf but follows curve of leaf shape, there are only a couple visible veins on each side of the leaf. Stems: very thick and succulent-y and rather unbendy. Easy to pull out of the soil (found that out the hard way)

Something really cool I found on a lj community I'm on.
http://community.livejournal.com/environment/831126.html

I never said i was smart...or even any good at this

2008-10-01T21:06:00.003-04:00

Slightly stressed.....and feeling rather dumb and not in the oh wow that was stupid of me sense but more along the lines of HOW THE FUCK DO YOU UNDERSTAND THIS SHIT. So....3 things that I am smart about. An excercise borrowed and augmented to make me be nicer towards myself.

Thing number 1: I know how to deal with horses
Thing number 2: I know how to listen
Things number 3: I know how to think of a million things that i want to write about for this new blog of mine.....yeah I know its a bad one but I couldn't think of anything else

This is actually alot harder then I thought it would be....try it. I want comments!!!! or to see it in your own blog places.

In The Circle

more story of stuff vids!!!!

Yay! warm weather!!!!

Spring!!

I'm Baaack 2 millionth edition

The Story of Bottled Water

please tell me some people have seen avatar

2009 at its end

childhood favorites

Things to be excited about super dork edition

A rant on social stupidity

Bad Pagan yet again

Searching for my muse

Evening walks to clear the mind work wonders

I got to make strawberry jelly!!!

The Great Art of Loving and Accepting Ones Self

This needed its own post

health care that really works?

We are always changing

Hey! im on time for once

Cooking, cleaning, and plants

changing with the times

Make like a tomato and ketchup

Pull a card....any card. Late again I know.

ok so its a bit late

Plant Post!!!

Happy April Fools

This is a nice idea I would like to see get off the ground

Bit of a format change

This isn't that hard

This is me, reaching back out to the universe

Feeling really good, for just this week

time to turn out the lights for awhile

A letter to the universe

its warm!!!!

*taps on watch* where did my time go?

A little herbal lore and some TMI

still working on that new schedule

Tarot cards, The divine instrument to deliver cosmic 2x4s

We

Happy MLK day

Every little bit helps

I found a use for winter!

Plant Post!!!

Lets not do depressing things today

And here we go one more time around the wheel

Oh mercury retrograde.....

Late night super fast musings

Ok so I'm bad when I'm on break

Its no wonder the Solstice is a big deal

Catch up time

Happy (almost 24 hours late) yule

Plant Post!!!

Glitter falling from the sky

Oh the holidays are coming

Plant post

So similar...yet, so different

I suppose this is a necessary environmental type post

Saturday morning in a warm building with some tea, could there be better?

well....we are attempting to get back to regularly scheduled broadcasts

My environmental econ prof would be so proud of me

Break from school distracted me

the absent minded domestic goddess

cooking in the Co-op

Plant Post!

Every religion has thier religious holidays

Wind Power

Its stuck

*Throws open the door* I'm baaack!!!

Oh the Chaos

new beginings and the chaos they bring

An odd display of balance in the world

Pretend it is still friday

Plant Post!!

How many Gods do you worship anyway?

Wave power

It snowed for all of 5 seconds today

Fall realization

Not cooking today, at the parents house as they have nothing for me to cook with

A confusing dream to be sure

taps on watch where did my time go?

Throws open the door I'm baaack!!!