Friday, February 20, 2009

time to turn out the lights for awhile

Due to an over abundance of school work I have lost most interest in my own life. I am pretty much too tired to care at this point and so will not even pretend that keeping up this blog is anywhere near my priority list at the moment. Right now my priority list is being a bookmark for a book I'm using for a research project so its always near me. So for the moment I am taking an extended hiatus from writing these blogs (I'll bet you figured that one out though due to my absense anyways). I'll be back when things calm down.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

A letter to the universe

Dear Mom n Dad
Thanks a million for me popping out with all 10 toes and fingers and all the proper things a person is supposed to have. I really, really love my hands. Really, they are awesome.
the one who has two working hands again

Yeah, having 2 hands that work suddenly not work is scary and awe inspiring and humbling and frustrating. There is a psychological effect too, I felt....broken or something and it made me really shy and quiet feeling, and I didn't want to go anywhere (technically they were broken...picture blown up rubber gloves instead of hands and you get the idea). I'm not sure I can really explain it. I was a child with an adult's body and mind who knew that it shouldn't work like this. That I shouldn't have to be fed like a baby or someone put my shoes on my feet and buckle me into the car because I had lumps of useless puffy flesh instead of fingers. (I plan to accidentally die from something if I ever actually get into a position where I lose my hands for good) But they work again thanks to the meds the ER doc gave me. It was a bit funny but in my early morning, scared about my hands, just payed $100 copay haze the doc walked in and I immediately had a flash of the twilight movie where Carlisle walks into the room where Bella is getting her head checked out after the almost near death accident....Yeah, I am a total dork but it was all good until he grabbed my thumb to lift my wrist up to his level to check my pulse. That. Hurt. A lot. (at least the nurse was nice enough to come down to my hand's level to check my pulse. Apparently my pulse was rather high when we first got there and the nurse didn't belive me or my boy when we said I have a bit of an anxiety problem) Not that I would have yelped and swatted at the man, I just made an ow face and let him man handle my sausage fingers. What a great way to spend ones 1 year aniversary (and the day after) with your boy. OK but really, its time for bed now.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

its warm!!!!

Because I am sitting here at my parents house so I can borrow the car tomorrow to get the demons vaccinated and have nothing do to currently (not true but I never get work done here) I am going to take a page from my friend's blog and do a describe myself post. I am putting a few constraints on it just because. They will be one word descriptions and they cannot be negative (ie bad at drawing). I'm going to shoot for 25 because it sounds like a good number. Here goes.
1 loyal
2 lover (of so many things)
3 a submissive (ok i realize thats 2 words but saying just submissive wasn't working)
4 hippy
5 vegetarian
6 pagan
7 masochist
8 Older sister (that counts as one word too)
9 adult
10 Child
11 student
12 teacher
13 shy (but getting better)
14 quiet (when I'm not around my friends)
15 book worm
16 friend
17 dreamer
18 scared (its not negative, and its a very big part of me right now)
19 loved
20 Cancer (I have said that in the negative before but today it just describes me)
21 gardener
22 beautiful (so they tell me anyways, today I feel good so I feel beautiful)
23 earth mother (even if I don't want offspring)
24 environmentalist
25 Co-oper

Hey that wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it would be. It got a little tough around the end there but, I really enjoyed that. I think I will do it again someday.

Monday, February 9, 2009

*taps on watch* where did my time go?

So yeah....I've been distracted lately. Was sick last week (and am still getting better). I actually started that experiment...but then I got sick and didn't feel like puting the arnica stuff on. Instead, I slept alot and stared glassy eyed at my computer screen watching movies. When I told my boy we will have to try the experiment again I got a look that said "yeah uh huh....riiiight. Just say bite me and don't use experiment as the excuse". The week before that, well....that was just a bad week and I had mostly lost interest in my own life for a bit. We are trying to not be apathetic, its hard sometimes. So far this week I am feeling pretty good, we shall see how things go. I probably won't post as much as before because I am so very super amazing busy. Oh yeah, and my boy told me I should make posts about my sexlife....(don't worry I won't) but it was a really funny conversation cause we were imagining actual posts and what I would discuss.