Thursday, February 19, 2009

A letter to the universe

Dear Mom n Dad
Thanks a million for me popping out with all 10 toes and fingers and all the proper things a person is supposed to have. I really, really love my hands. Really, they are awesome.
the one who has two working hands again

Yeah, having 2 hands that work suddenly not work is scary and awe inspiring and humbling and frustrating. There is a psychological effect too, I felt....broken or something and it made me really shy and quiet feeling, and I didn't want to go anywhere (technically they were broken...picture blown up rubber gloves instead of hands and you get the idea). I'm not sure I can really explain it. I was a child with an adult's body and mind who knew that it shouldn't work like this. That I shouldn't have to be fed like a baby or someone put my shoes on my feet and buckle me into the car because I had lumps of useless puffy flesh instead of fingers. (I plan to accidentally die from something if I ever actually get into a position where I lose my hands for good) But they work again thanks to the meds the ER doc gave me. It was a bit funny but in my early morning, scared about my hands, just payed $100 copay haze the doc walked in and I immediately had a flash of the twilight movie where Carlisle walks into the room where Bella is getting her head checked out after the almost near death accident....Yeah, I am a total dork but it was all good until he grabbed my thumb to lift my wrist up to his level to check my pulse. That. Hurt. A lot. (at least the nurse was nice enough to come down to my hand's level to check my pulse. Apparently my pulse was rather high when we first got there and the nurse didn't belive me or my boy when we said I have a bit of an anxiety problem) Not that I would have yelped and swatted at the man, I just made an ow face and let him man handle my sausage fingers. What a great way to spend ones 1 year aniversary (and the day after) with your boy. OK but really, its time for bed now.

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